Guernsey Tom's Strong Team Build Saga
by tbm1986
Summary: As there were no dialogues for the characters in Heodenings Mode, unlike in the campaign, I, in addition to creating character combos and their duties in a spreadsheet, thought about how the banter would play out. This first long story took on a life of its own. This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Dead in Vinland world, which is trademarked by CCCP.
1. Chapter 1

**Day 1**

Eustache: I don't like being on this island any more than you, but I think we could make this work, the four of us. We together have a skillset any of the bands would be proud to have!

Knut: How? We have a sissy French pirate *spits*...

Eustache: *draws a knife, with a dangerous look in his eyes* I'll show you how 'sissy' this French pirate can be if you insult me again!

Knut: ...a little girl in filthy animal skins who fights with pebbles and bones *spits*...

Shanaw: No little girl! Arrgh! *bears teeth and tries to look menacing*

Knut: ...and a creepy old witch! *spits*

Gudrun: THE GODS SPARED YOU, YOU KNOW! THEY HOPED YOU COULD CHANGE. YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN YOU!

Knut: IF YOU COULDN'T CURSE ME, I WOULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW! *spits*

Eustache: Everyone, please! If we are to beat Björn and his men long-term, we need to learn to live and work together. If we don't, we die! On board ship, we had a hierarchy to make sure everyone knew their place. Knut, you can be my tactical advisor, weaponsmith, master builder and 2nd-in-command!

Knut: WHY ARE YOU LEADER? WHY AM I SECOND?

Eustache: Because I have the brains and you have the brawn. Besides, do you want to be leader? Would you rather someone else here were leader?

Knut: No... I accept, on the condition that I can fight. This island is ripe for pillaging.

Eustache: I'm glad we agree! Gudrun, will you be our cook, botanist, spiritual guide and healer?

Gudrun: DO YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR CHAMBERMAID TOO?

Eustache: I...don't think that position needs filling...

Gudrun: THEN I ACCEPT.

Eustache: Good. Shanaw, can you catch our food and help gather provisions?

Shanaw: Shanaw throw rock at beast, then bring beast home for dinner.

Eustache: Can you fish?

Shanaw: Can pirate teach Shanaw how to fish?

Eustache: *to self* Can a bird fly? *aloud* There's a lot I can teach you! *wink, wink*

Shanaw: Shanaw not know what pirate means...

Eustache: *to self* You will, my pretty... *aloud* You'll see.

**Day 10**

Gudrun is at the pot, cooking the day's meal. The others nearby are waiting with despair and dread.

Gudrun: Hmmm...maybe some more spiders to season...frogspawn to thicken...

Eustache: Are you sure neither of you can cook?

Shanaw: Shanaw roast meat on fire...but meat black.

Knut: No. It's a woman's job.

Eustache: Out here, I don't think we can be that picky.

Shanaw: Tummy hurt...

Knut: Bush child is right. Mine hurts too.

Eustache: Shanaw, have you spotted any good cooks in rival camps on your travels?

Shanaw: No...pigs cooking pigs and eating like pigs...

Knut: Hmmm...


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 30**

Eustache, sweat dripping from his brow, finally finishes the shelter extension he and Knut had been working on intermittently for a week. He's about to pop open a beer when Shanaw comes out of the forest with a scrawny Norse girl with a look about her he found intimidating.

Shanaw: Eustache! Look who Shanaw found in forest! Now Shanaw have new playmate!

Eustache: You don't say! What's your name, missy?

Kari: Kari. And less of the 'missy'!

Eustache: Easy there, Kari. Just being friendly. We are looking for two new people to join our camp. What can you do to earn your keep?

Kari: I have a keen eye for exploring, I'm agile and I'm pretty mean with a bow. But why would I want to join you bunch of losers?

Eustache: *to self* Thank god Knut isn't here! *to Kari* You could be very useful to us. We've recently made a bow but Shanaw needs training first. We've been living off fish until now and I don't think I could bear many more. This isn't the lifestyle I'm used to. We also need a wily person of your size with more guts than Shanaw here who doesn't tire of walking.

Kari: You want me to fetch water? You can break your own back.

Eustache: Actually, our open-top barrels usually last us because of all this rain the island gets. No, we need someone to explore the island for resources and enemy weaknesses. I'm sure you can handle a goon or two if they spot you but we have your back if there are a few more.

Kari: Well, I'm better off al- *notices the disappointed look in Shanaw's eyes* Okay. But don't get in my way, or I swear-

Eustache: We won't.

At that moment, Knut walks into camp, looking purposeful. He had a Norsewoman with him, who had a young child in her arms. She looked very motherly and homely.

Knut: Everyone! This is Solveig, my...ex-wife. She can cook and look after children better than anyone I've ever met. She grew up on a farm in my home village in Denmark. She...only agreed to join us if I promised to leave her alone.

Knut looked browbeaten and even remorseful at this admission. Nobody would dare ask him why she gave him this condition but they could guess.

Solveig: *nervous* Nice to meet you all! Knut has told me so much about you! You all look famished! I...brought you all some berries if you wish to accept me into your camp...

With that, she showed everyone the contents of the basket she had been carrying. It was a large hamper and had been filled with fruit with barely an inch at the top to spare.

Eustache: Nice to meet you, ma'am! We would be honoured if you could join us as our main cook and co-harvester. No offence, Gudrun. You may still need to cook for us sometimes. Besides, I think we'll get more injuries soon. It won't be long before Björn's men realise we have improved our lot.

Gudrun: *hisses and snarls* IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH! I'LL BE IN THE TAVERN IF YOU NEED ME!

**Day 50**

Shanaw and Kari are walking back to camp with game they had just hunted.

Shanaw: Mother Solveig will be so pleased with this!

Kari: *eyerolls* Better not let her see the gash in your leg. She'll fuss over you for ages!

Shanaw: Shanaw not mind. Shanaw misses mother from home tribe.

Kari: Why did you leave?

Shanaw: Shanaw married but Shanaw no like married. Husband try to take Shanaw's clothes off. Shanaw kill him with knife.

Kari: That's horrible! I wouldn't ever let any man get close to me like that. I know Eustache wants to...

Shanaw: He touch you too?

Kari: No, he wouldn't da-... wait, what? That slimeball tried it on with you?

Shanaw: Yes. When fishing, he put hand on my leg, then my waist, then... Shanaw frightened... Not feel nice...

Kari: I'll speak to Solveig. She'll know what to do.

Later that day, Kari found an excuse to spend some time alone with Solveig.

Kari: Solveig, may I help with dinner tonight?

Solveig: Of course, my love! Could you gut those rabbits for me?

Kari: Sure. Um... Shanaw and I need your advice...

Solveig: What's up, Kari dear?

Kari: Shanaw told me Eustache has been touching her...you know...in woman's places...

Solveig stopped for a while, thinking, a very sad and tortured look on her normally sunny face.

Solveig: Kari, men have needs. Eustache isn't having his needs met here.

Kari: Then why hasn't Knut tried?

Solveig: Because he's still in love with me. But I haven't forgiven him...yet.

Kari: What did he do?

Solveig: He used to hit me, expected me to have a perfect dinner ready for him as soon as he walked through the door every night and he would shout in front of our children. He took me for granted. It's something many men do with their wives. But it was all too much in the end.

Kari: You had more children? Did he beat them to death?

Solveig: Heavens no, my child! Even Knut has his limits! No, they all died young, of various diseases...

Kari: That's really sad. Was there no völva in your village?

Solveig: There was but she died before I married Knut. Our village was too poor to arrange for a new one to be brought in from another tribe. That's why we relied so heavily on pillaging.

Kari: Was Knut always a blacksmith?

Solveig: No. He was a handsome warrior when we got engaged! How times change. He loved pillaging. He loved me afterwards. Heehee. I was nearly always pregnant or nursing! I just love being in a large family. I grew up in one, you know. We all learned how to grow plants and keep animals. It was the only way we could afford to live.

Kari: Is that why Knut is so bad-tempered all the time? Because he lost his leg?

Solveig: Yes, and the fate of our children. He hates being a blacksmith. That was why he was delighted when Eustache allowed him to fight here. But I digress. I'll have a word with Eustache. Shanaw doesn't deserve this.

Kari: Thanks, Solveig! You're awesome!

When the rest were asleep, Solveig made her way outside to where Eustache was sat at the shoreline, gazing out at the sea. Eustache heard her approach.

Eustache: You'd never know it were the same treacherous waters that brought us here, would you? It looks so calm and peaceful out there, out of harm's way...

Solveig: Yes. This island has too many perils. I need to talk to you about one of them. Could you walk with me?

Eustache: Of course, my lady. What is on your mind?

Solveig: A little bird told me you have been molesting Shanaw. Is this true?

Eustache: So, what if I have?

Solveig: They're young girls, barely fifteen years old. They are too young for the pleasures you can bring to a woman.

Eustache: But what about my needs?

Solveig: I've been thinking about that too.

Solveig started to undress.

Solveig: If you are going to sexually abuse someone, sexually abuse me. I can put up with it, if need be. Those girls are too vulnerable and fragile at this age. Surely you understand that?

Eustache saw what she was doing and looked away.

Eustache: You're not my type. I prefer women who are not big and blonde. Sorry.

Solveig: Then take a woman from another camp! Ask Gudrun if there's anything for you to take to lower your sex drive! Anything! Just don't abuse those girls anymore!

Eustache: I'll think about it.

A few days later...

Knut: Eustache. Solveig told me what you are doing to the bush child. HOW CAN YOU DO THAT TO A CHILD?

Eustache: She has the right things going on to keep me going. If she's old enough to grow all that, then she's old enough to learn.

Knut: ENOUGH!

Knut punched Eustache so hard in the face that he broke Eustache's jaw and Eustache went flying into the water barrels, head first. He wasn't knocked out but his head was split open at the back and he was dazed. Knut stood over him.

Knut: End this. Now. Or I will end you.

With that, he walked away, leaving Eustache very shaken, violated, in pain and in shock. Maybe he would have to drink some of that foul brown stuff Gudrun had made for him, after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 63**

Without warning, Elof made his way into camp with a very scary-looking half Giant woman.

Elof: Good noon to you, my little ponies! You really upset Björn the other day when he didn't get your tribute, so much he asked me to bring this nice young lady to meet you all! Say hello to Gwen, m'dears!

Gleaming with sweat, Gwen was a ferocious mess of a woman. Her pupils were nearly as large as her eyes, her nose was bleeding and she was frothing with rage. Before anyone could react, she leapt upon each of them with a low-pitched, blood-curdling battle cry that paralysed everyone where they stood/sat/whatever. Two minutes later, she stopped and slowly walked out of camp, noisily gasping for breath and clutching her chest, covered in (everyone else's) blood from head to toe.

When Gudrun came to, it was with a panicked start and asking the whereabouts of the monster. Once she had been convinced that this new nemesis was now nowhere nearby, she groaned and let out muffled screams of agony. Her face was almost unrecognisable, her torso was bruised and her limbs were twisted. Everyone sighed. Who heals the healer when the healer needs healing?

The six could barely focus. When they heard two more people approaching, everyone wondered if suicide had been the best option. One came right up to Kari and stopped.

Norseman: Oh, Kari...

Kari: Dad?

Eirik: I'm so sorry, Kari...

Kari: Daaaaad... X)

Eirik: I couldn't reach you in time...before Gwen reached you...

Kari: You know her?

Eirik: Yes. She's one of Björn's five fingers. She's from Cornwall. There are stories of her back home. I don't know if they're true. From what we've seen so far, we have no reason to doubt them.

Kari: Why was she so strong, quick, everything...?

Eirik: My learned friend Cissé would be better explaining that...

Eirik's companion, a dark-skinned man with dreadlocks, stepped forward.

Cissé: Gwendolen snorted ground kola leaves shortly before entering your camp. They turn you into a wild beast almost instantly and the effect lasts for a few minutes. It causes breathing problems, though.

Kari: We heard.

Cissé: Ground kola leaves are very addictive, so she uses it sparingly, for the good of her health.

Kari: Then why did she take it?

Eirik: We have reason to believe that she only snorts when Björn wants to teach people a lesson.

Kari: How do you know that?

Eirik: Björn wanted to teach me a lesson once. *smiles* But if you beat her in a fair clean fight, she does have her...more enjoyable side...*winks*

Kari: Ewww! Daaaad! That's so gross! You're my dad...

Eirik: Sorry.

Cissé: Come. I have some bandages and medicinal herbs. My people and you are not that different when it comes to physical techniques for healing the body.

Later, Solveig corners Eirik.

Solveig: That poor girl. She's really needed her father. Where have you been when she needed you most?

Eirik: I'm ashamed. Our house got attacked when our Jarl died. It turns out I was his illegitimate son and his unpopular heir wanted me out of the way. We barely escaped with our lives.

Solveig: So, then you ended up here?

Eirik: Yes. When we crash landed in the storm, Kari and I were knocked out. When we came to, my wife and her sister were nowhere to be seen. We don't know if they are alive or dead.

Solveig: That's incredibly sad but how did you abandon Kari?

Eirik: I had found this shack where some shaman had lived. He had quite a stash. It helped with the pain. I only realised what it was doing to me when I couldn't hold a bow without shaking and Kari had to kill a bear to save my life. But by then, it was already too late. I was dependent. I knew I would just be a burden to her, so I left Kari behind but kept an eye from a safe distance. That's when I met Cissé. He has helped calm me down and let me live in a bubble for a while. It's what I needed. He gently urged me to reconnect with Kari. I'm pleased I did. This is quite the fledgling community you have here.

Solveig: Don't give me that! You have no idea how tough it is here! How tough it is for your daughter! You couldn't step up when she needed her father most! She had lost her family and was marooned on this dangerous island with only you for protection and you failed her!

Eirik: I know! I'm sorry! But I'm here now, aren't I?

Solveig: What are you really here for?

Eirik: To be a proper father to my daughter again, like I said!

Solveig: Are you sure it's not because you used up all your stash or Cissé burnt it?

Eirik: NO!

Knut: WHAT BY THOR IS GOING ON?

Solveig: Knut! No, it's fine! Go back inside. I'm just talking to Eir-AAAH!

Knut: NOBODY SPEAKS TO MY WIFE LIKE TH-urrrrgh...

Eirik: Thanks...

Solveig: This isn't over. We'll talk again.

**Day 65**

Eirik: So how are they treating you here?

Kari: Not bad, actually. Knut is always bad-tempered, Eustache is a slimeball and that völva is creepy as Hel but they leave me be. Solveig is lovely. She fusses over every scratch Shanaw and I get and her cooking is amazing. But I miss Mum's cooking. Have you seen her or Aunt Moira?

Eirik: 'Fraid not. But it sounds like you've fallen on your feet here.

Kari: Please stay, Dad. I miss our hunting trips...

Eirik: Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere this time.

Kari: Why did you leave?

Eirik: You remember when you killed that bear a fortnight after we first arrived? I realised there and then I couldn't look after you. I had the shakes so badly, I couldn't even aim an arrow at a close, still target.

Kari: So, what's changed?

Eirik: Cissé has settled me down. I'd gone completely off the rails on that stash in the dead shaman's hut. I'm ready to be a proper father to you now.

Kari: I hope so. I was gutted when you left. You're all the family I have left.

Eirik: And you mine. I'm so sorry I fell off the wagon but it won't happen again.

Kari: I hope not. Will you come hunting with me tomorrow? Björn wants 60 fish, so Shanaw and Eustache can't come with me.

Eirik: Of course! And logging in the afternoon?

Kari: Why logging?

Eirik: I'm helping Knut repair our roof so we can sleep better when it's raining. After that, so long as a tribute doesn't get in the way, who knows? Maybe we could build more water barrels so we can rely more on rain than fetching bucketfuls from the stream, or we could equip you better when you go exploring. Maybe Shanaw can go with you in future!

Kari: You're the best, Dad!

**Day 66**

Eustache, Knut and Gudrun are talking about camp plans for the future.

Eustache: Knut, are you sure Solveig can't do it?

Knut: She has enough on her plate with gardening, cooking and herb gathering.

Eustache: Gudrun?

Gudrun: I'm too old. I can advise but my back would kill me.

Eustache: Eirik and Cissé?

Gudrun: Them two? Ho ho. They're so high on hemp most of the time, they would scare the sheep! Or the sheep would scare them! Whichever.

Eustache: The girls?

Gudrun: Them? Ha! Farm animals need a close eye, confidence and a firm hand. Those teenagers are not capable. Shanaw shows promise with animals but she is too scared. Kari is too stupid. The sheep would run rings around that one. Ho, yes.

Eustache: That means we have to recruit from outside again. Knut, will our shelter take another extension?

Knut: Yes, but only one more. The rest of the land surrounding structure is not suitable for building.

Eustache: Can we fit any more beds and partitions in the existing abode?

Knut: I would not recommend it. Solveig is complaining about the lack of space as it is...

Eustache: How many people could we house in the final extension?

Knut: Two at most.

Eustache: Then we need to make the next one count, or Thormod will have nowhere to sleep later. We can't rely on the girls to scout out a recruit. I'll do it myself.

**Day 69**

Eustache comes across an enemy camp where a beautiful girl of about 20 years was surrounded by goons. They were entranced. She was dancing around a pole and doing acrobatics on it. She was so sexy with the way she went about it. Eustache, having not seen anything this good since he arrived on the island, watched from the shadows. If only he could get her out of there, he could have his own lapdancer lover back at camp. Convincing the others could prove to be difficult as well. He knew he couldn't rescue her without a fight, a fight he could not win alone. Both the convincing and the rescuing would require all his cunning and powers of persuasion.


	4. Chapter 4

**Day 71**

Convincing the others had been somewhat easy. Knut, Eirik and Cissé, all being single now, were up for a hottie coming back to camp. Solveig was all for the rescue for rescue sake and seemed to know what Eustache was really up to but kept silent. So she should, thought Eustache. She had suggested it in the first place! Gudrun and the girls had not been consulted.

So now Knut, Eirik and Eustache were approaching the enemy camp with the idea of identifying positions, quickly slitting throats and whisking the young lady off pronto.

He was hoping they would not be spotted and she could be as mesmerising with sheep as she was with men, or there would be trouble.

Eustache and Eirik went ahead and left Knut in the trees. His trunk leg meant he would be too loud and slow to be stealthy.

They noticed a small watchtower, the stage where the temptress had been performing and a fire, beyond which was a shelter. Eustache crept into the watchtower to deal with the watchman while Eirik made sure there were no more guardposts, traps or people still up and about.

Eustache effortlessly put the only guard out of his misery within the blink of an eye. He looked to Eirik, who nodded to signal the route to the shelter was clear. The only sound that could be heard was the crackle of the fire.

There was a window in the side of the shelter. Eustache peered in. The six men were asleep, lying on the floor with blankets over them, forming a zigzag line between the entrance and a partition with a door. They were clearly protecting their grand prize, perhaps keeping her as a harlot. There was also some dried meat, loot and beer on the side but Eustache decided it would be too much of a risk to take anything else unless the men were all dead.

They went back to Knut and explained what they had seen.

Eirik: I have a potion here from Cissé that will knock everyone out cold in there. I think it's a lot safer than the men trying to fight us or wake their friends in their death throes.

Eustache: I agree.

Knut: Hmpf. It's how cowards raid. *spit*

Eirik: There are six of them in there, all fighters. The element of surprise won't last long. We would be outnumbered very quickly. They could even hold a knife to her throat should we get any closer.

Knut: Hmpf... agreed. We proceed with the coward plan.

Knut and Eustache watched from the shadows as Eirik approached the entrance from the side so as to not be seen and took a gourd from his belt. He uncorked it and threw it into the room. He then rushed away, a vapour following in his wake. Eirik returned to his friends.

Eirik: Cissé said to wait for the room to ventilate so we don't get knocked out as well. It should be clear in two minutes.

Eustache: I'll kill them on the way to her room. You two will be too loud and will scare her.

Eustache went ahead while Eirik and Knut made sure the coast was still clear. He stabbed each goon through the heart, head or throat. He had no preference, really. He kicked the corpses out of the way and waited for the other two to catch up. He then opened the door. The girl was awake and alert. When she realised who it was, she spoke.

Dancer: You took your time! I thought you'd come yesterday!

Eustache: Sorry, princess. I had to convince these fine fellows to join me in rescuing you and hatch a plan to get you out.

Dancer: I had no beauty sleep last night, or tonight. The men might have noticed a less than perfect performance.

Eustache: You've made your point. Now let's get going.

Dancer: I hope you'll treat me better than these pigs.

At this point, they were crossing the main room of the shelter and one of the condemned men stirred in his death throe.

Goon: Hahaha! Good luck with that one! She's more trouble than she's worth! All tease, no cock-suck!

The dancer finished him off in fury. She then started grabbing loot.

Dancer: Don't just stand there! Take some! Will I have to do everything in your camp?

Eustache, Knut and Eirik looked at each other and started to take loot and provisions. Maybe the deceased one was right.

On the way back to camp...

Eustache: So, what's your name and life story, my pretty?

Parvaneh: Parvaneh. I was a royal dancer in my homeland. I never had to perform for scum such as these you found me with.

Eirik: We're not like them. We look out for each other.

Parvaneh: Who are you people?

Eustache: We are a group of European commoners and nobles, with one exception. I'm the leader of the group, former heir to lands in France...

**Day 80**

The ladies corner Eustache over the hiring of Parvaneh.

Shanaw: She teach me how to dance, but I no want to dance.

Kari: She started talking to me about lipstick the other day just when I was about to release an arrow. Our food took off.

Solveig: She doesn't help me round camp at all. She looks at her nails and says it's beneath her. When I take her harvesting, she larks about in a world of her own. She refuses to hold the basket, claiming she's not strong enough. When fetching water, all the wants to do is have a bath. She says it will hurt her beautiful back if she helps carry buckets back and she won't be able to dance again.

Eustache: *to self* We can't have her injure her back! *to ladies* I'll speak to her. Can you girls take her out exploring?

Kari: We barely have enough equipment as it is and she is so annoying! Can't we just let her go on her own?

Eustache: No. She is too much of a kidnap target.

Kari: And we're not?

Eustache: You have your wits about you and can fight.

Kari: I guess...

Later that day...

Eustache: I'm having trouble keeping the women on side.

Parvaneh: Isn't that your problem?

Eustache: You need to win them over or they will evict you from camp. Can you try harder with the tasks we give you?

Parvaneh: I'm a dancer. I can't do manual labour. It ruins my physique.

Eustache: Then I'll get Cissé and Gudrun to train you as a healer.

Parvaneh: No. I'm squeamish.

Eustache: Solveig could teach you how to cook.

Parvaneh: Can't you just be happy I dance for you and your friends every evening? Back home, I would have expected creature comforts in return.

Eustache: You already squander most of our fabric and preening ointments Gudrun and Cissé make for the other ladies in camp!

Parvaneh: They don't need it, though. They aren't gorgeous like me.

Eustache: *sighs heavily* Apart from dancing, what can you do?

Parvaneh: You asked me that the night I came!

Eustache: You avoided the question.

Parvaneh: I... I can set traps for you, okay? I can call timber when someone chops a tree down. I can clean the shelter more. I'll even pick some fruit (but only a small basket's worth).

Eustache: That won't be quite enough to pacify the other ladies. Or me, for that matter.

Parvaneh: Wh- what? Um... okay, I'll sleep with you. Happy now? I would have preferred Eirik but if I'm going to be booted out of camp unless I satisfy the leader, then I guess my choice is made.

Eustache: Now you're starting to speak my language! However, we didn't hire you to dance at all.

Parvaneh: You what?

Eustache: That was a nice bonus, helped convince the guys without any references. What we actually hired you for was to look after sheep once we'd built pens.

Parvaneh: But...they're dirty and...I've never done farm work before.

Eustache: Solveig will teach you. She grew up on a farm.

Parvaneh: Why can't she do it?

Eustache: We had that discussion before we recruited you. She has too much on with cooking, harvesting and gardening. Give her a break.

Parvaneh: Cissé? Eirik? They spend most of the afternoon off their faces in the tavern anyway.

Eustache: That's because they are doing hard work in the morning and need rest, unlike you. Besides, they'd scare the animals. So, you'll do it?

Parvaneh: Well...I guess I can learn.

Eustache: I'll get Eirik to make you a Parvaneh-sized fruit basket now. I'll start changing my bed.

Parvaneh: Wait! I'm...on my bloody days of the month.

Eustache: No, you're not! Your bathwater had a red tinge last week.

Parvaneh: *sighs*

In the evening after dinner, Cissé and Eirik are enjoying a hemp trip up on the hill.

Eirik: You see that cloud up there, Cissé? The one that looks like Loki. Heehee.

Cissé: The one next to him looks like a sheep! Haha! Hohoho!

Eirik: Hahahahaha! But seriously for a minute, what do you think of our apprentice shepherdess?

Cissé: She has a way of mesmerising men, completely captivating her audience. She also controls any situation. I don't see why her personality wouldn't work on sheep.

Eirik: I guess. But Eustache convinced her to sleep with him tonight. She didn't control that situation! Haha!

Cissé: Haha. No. How do you feel about that? She really likes you, you know.

Eirik: Really? I hadn't noticed. Meh. It's too soon after Blod, I think.

Cissé: Do you think she's still out there?

Eirik: I'm not sure if I'm here right now...

Cissé: Look who is here right now! That huge cloud that looks like an arse.

Eirik: Solveig's? Or Knut's? Hahaha!

Cissé: Not hairy enough for Knut! Heeheeheehee!

**Day 100**

Gudrun, Solveig, Parvaneh and Eustache are discussing the disaster that is Parvaneh as a shepherdess.

Gudrun: THAT POOR EWE HAD NO CHANCE!

Parvaneh: It's not my fault! As soon as I realised something was wrong, I did everything I could to save her! I didn't know what to do.

Solveig: You should have asked me, dear!

Parvaneh: I...I...hoped I could deal with it myself...make you proud of me.

Eustache: You gambled with a life. Now one of our sheep has paid the price.

Parvaneh: I'm sorr- wait! You set me up to fail! YOU're the ones gambling with sheep lives!

Solveig: I am usually nearby if you need me. If not, there's always Gudrun. If we're both out gathering herbs or hemp, it can usually wait a couple of hours until we're back. I'm showing you everything I know, in easy-to-absorb chunks.

Parvaneh: What if I don't realise there's a problem until it's an emergency?

Gudrun: IF YOU GAVE THOSE SHEEP EVEN HALF THE ATTENTION YOUR NAILS GET-

Eustache: This isn't getting us anywhere. Solveig, can you check them every day for a few minutes?

Solveig: I guess so...

Eustache: Gudrun, can you make these sheep more resilient?

Gudrun: Yes, sheep lliniment. I'll get started right away. CISSÉ, YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A HEALER! GET YOUR LAZY ARSE TO THE HEALING TENT AND WAIT FOR ME THERE!

Cissé: Yes, 'Boss'...

Eustache: Is there anything else we can do for them?

Gudrun: Cissé has a tablet I think could lead to a higher yield of hemp when we forage. He thinks I don't know, damn hippie! We'll need more for the liniment.

Solveig: If I could have some better tools for the garden, I could plough, sew, weed and harvest quicker so can overlook Parvaneh and the sheep more. I'll ask Eirik.

Parvaneh: Or you could do it all!

Solveig: THE CHEEK!

Eustache: None of us are passengers here, my pretty. The upkeep of the men's morale and cleaning the shelter isn't enough.

Solveig: Most of the discarded items and mess are hers anyway!

Eustache: Anything else?

This was met with silence.

Eustache: Meeting over, then! Back to work!

Eustache knew that he was just delaying the inevitable. He needed to find a replacement shepherd - and fast!

**Day 103**

Eirik and Eustache both seek Gudrun at the same time.

Eirik: Um...Gudrun...do you have any...-

Eustache: Gudrun, do you have any-

Gudrun: One atch a tchime, boysh!

Eirik: I was here first. Wait your turn.

Eustache: I'm the lea-...go on, then.

Eirik: Do you have any more of the good stuff?

Gudrun: Loki'sh Delight? Yesh, my dear. Do you have the watsher and incontchinent shnail?

Eirik: Here you go.

They exchange items.

Eustache: Is that...?

Eirik: Drugs. Yes.

Eustache: Gudrun, do you have anything for when my...little pirate doesn't want to greet a lady?

Gudrun: *cackles mockingly*

Eustache: Okay, enough. Do you have any or not?

Gudrun: No, butsh I can make shome. Bring me shome mead.

Eustache: But we don't have much left...

Gudrun: DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU OR NOT?

Eustache: Okay, okay...

Eustache passes Gudrun a jug, she takes four gulps and wipes her mouth on her sleeve shamelessly.

Gudrun: Come back in an hour.

Eustache: *to Gudrun* Will do. *to Eirik* I won't say anything to the others if you won't.

Eirik: Agreed.

Exactly an hour later...

Gudrun: Are you sure it's your Little Pirate that's nervous? Heeheehee!

Eustache: Maybe it's because I know she doesn't want it.

Gudrun: Not only that! You don't trust her.

Eustache: You're right. I don't.

Gudrun: She's not the only one you shouldn't trust.

Eustache: Who else?

Gudrun: There are two who are weak-willed and another who is not what they seem. Your camp faces ruin if you do not keep your eyes fixed on these people and act accordingly to intelligence that comes to light.

Eustache: Must you always talk in riddles? Why can't you just give me names and tell me what is going to happen?

Gudrun: Where would be the fun in that? *cackles* But seriously, you will know what to do if you realise it for yourself rather than asking me to do all your thinking for you.

Eustache: I guess you're right. Thank you, ma'am.


	5. Chapter 5

**Day 104**

Eirik had agreed to accompanying Eustache in the hunt for a replacement for Parvaneh.

Yaghoub: Greetings, fine sirs! MY wares are the best money can buy! I pride myself on quality merchandise. I even produce some of it myself! Allow me to join you and you will see my commercial motivation put into action! Your camp will be transformed overnight from a dirty backwater to a thriving trading hub!

Eirik: Do you have any cheese?

Yaghoub: No. But I do have some eeeexcellent cured meats, should you wish to browse.

Eustache: Can you cook?

Yaghoub: No. But look at this rope! It's exquisite! Like silk...

Eirik: How are you at looking after animals?

Yaghoub: I'm better at catching them and putting them up for sale. Why?

Eustache: Do you have boobs and a pussy under those immaculate clothes?

Yaghoub: NO! WHAT IS THIS?

Eirik: You're not the person for us. Sorry.

The next person wasn't much better.

Angelo: I believe in the one true God and he gives me strength.

Eustache: What kind of strength?

Angelo: To remain balanced and just.

Eirik: Who is this God of yours?

Angelo: Not one of your heathen gods, I'm afraid.

Eirik: *growls*

Eustache: Can you cook?

Angelo: I learned how to cook some basic foods in the monastery. Most of them are vegetarian dishes.

Eirik: Did you keep any animals in the monastery?

Angelo: No. We don't eat meat on Fridays. It would be shameful to rear them on a Friday also.

Eustache: Can you fight?

Angelo: No. I'm a pacifist.

Eirik: Can you dance?

Angelo: Well, I-

Eustache: Come on! We're going!

Angelo: Am I coming too?

Eustache: What do you think?

...Yawn...

Njáll: Don't make me laugh. Your sorry little party has as much chance of beating Björn as anyone jumping off a mountain and hoping to live. Now go back to your pathetically fragile group and wait for the inevit- *to self* they've gone. Good. Such bothersome people...

**Day 105**

Eustache, Knut, Eirik and Kari meet to discuss war strategy. The latter three begin by groaning in unison from the thorough beating they received earlier that day.

Knut: As you all know, I fear no man, but...that THING...she scares me.

Eirik: I know what you mean. I meet her and I feel like I haven't learnt anything about fighting since I picked up a sword.

Kari: We can't just hide from her, either. She found me in a bush and grabbed me! It's like she could hear my heart beating or something.

Eustache: So, what do we do? Knut is too slow and the rest of us are too frail.

Kari: I could bring Valur along to every fight. I've almost finished training him. He's a badass dog now!

Knut: I could make superior armour, weapons and whetstones in the forge. They don't last very long before they dull, though - a week at most. And they are expensive to make.

Eirik: Have you met Thor? He gives short-term training.

Eustache: Yes, I've met him. That tight fucker only wants those orichalcum beads the Blue people are so obsessed about. They take some getting. In the long term, it might be a viable option if we can pass all their tests first time and can spare people for recovery time.

Kari: Does anyone know what the beads are made of?

Eirik: They look like they contain brass. Cissé says they comprise many metals and retain their heat for thousands of years. They must have been made in forges much more sophisticated and powerful than ours.

Kari: Can we not just hire someone else to help us? Someone who can pierce bone as well as my arrows can.

Eustache: You might be onto something there. Knut, what are we like for resources for these upgrades of yours?

Knut: Not good. We need lots of iron, wood, stone, animal pelts and bones.

Eustache: What does Valur need to finish his training and what will his recovery time be?

Kari: I think he needs another dozen bones and some meat. Then he'll be ready to rock every single day.

Eustache: Eirik, we need to continue our headhunting and look for the resources we need. It's about time we accompanied the girls and the dog. Kari, Knut, your tasks are clear. Let's get to work, people!

**Day 106**

Solveig corners Eirik again.

Solveig: Two days ago, you sneaked out in the middle of the night and came back covered in bruises. Why?

Eirik: I…fancied a stroll, tripped and…went rolling down a hill…

Solveig: I don't believe you. You weren't dirty enough. Plus, you had clawmarks…*lifts his shirt*…which are still there! These aren't from an animal or branches! This looks like…

Eirik: Okay, okay! You've got me. I've been going to see Gwen. We have an…understanding.

Solveig: That monster woman? But why?

Eirik: We both have needs. Unfortunately, hers include scraps.

Solveig: Are you giving supplies or information to the enemy?

Eirik: No. Only fists and love. I would never betray this camp.

Solveig: Not even for Loki's Delight?

Eirik: No. I do see Njáll sometimes but he enjoys the company. No info gets exchanged. He has his own stash, so we use that.

Solveig: I'm not sure I believe you.

Eirik: Eustache won't care, Cissé already knows and I think Gudrun does too. Please don't tell my daughter. She puts up a good front to you lot but she's very fragile underneath.

Solveig: I know. I was the one who had to hold her hand while you weren't around.

Eirik: Of course. Sorry.

Solveig: I have already made my feelings clear on that matter. I won't open that up again unless something changes.

Eirik: But…didn't you just-

Solveig: Eirik, didn't you learn anything from your marriage? Don't call a woman out on something, especially if she has a hold over you!

Eirik: Oh! Right.

**Day 107**

Kari was exploring the island interior when a berserk woman flew at her from nowhere. Kari dodged and sent her distress signal into the sky. Eirik and Knut came to her aid.

Warrior: *thrusts* Björn is recruiting them young these days!

Kari: *dodges again* What? *fires a shot from her bow, which takes the unknown woman's shoulder*

Eirik and Knut arrive.

Warrior: Usual typical thugs! You won't take me alive!

She let out a battle cry and took a long, devastating swipe at the three. Her sword found its marks. Eirik and Knut yelped in pain as the tip of the blade deeply grazed their chests. Kari ducked but still saw the tip of her ear fly off.

Eirik: You don't sound like one of Björn's gang. Who are you?

Eirik yelled out a battle cry of his own and thrust downward. Expecting a sideways swoop, the lady warrior ducked and received the flat of Eirik's sword across her back. She shrieked with pain.

Lady Tomoe: I am Lady Tomoe, last survivor of the Tomoe household. I'm an Onna-Bogeisha warrior and fighting is in my blood! Allow me to demonstrate...

She made as if to cut off Knut's head but changed to a sideways swoop by swerving and circling her blade. Knut tried to dodge but received a blow to the shoulder and tripped, falling to one knee, blood spewing from his shoulder like a geyser. She then received an arrow to the knee from Kari.

Kari: Are you with Björn? You sound like the last person who would fight for his cause.

Knut threw all his weight into what was supposed to be a bone-crunching hammer-fall. With stunning agility and discipline, Tomoe stepped aside, twirled and landed the top of her blade on an off-balance Knut's head, knocking him unconscious.

Tomoe: That honorless bully! I would rather die.

Eirik took a vicious double swipe at her legs. Expecting only one swipe, Tomoe landed just before the blade had left her vicinity, taking out her ankle. Again, she shrieked with pain.

Eirik: Why not join us? We're not with Björn either. So long as you can care for sheep.

Tomoe: Why should I believe you? You're all Norse, like him. I know how to handle animals as well as a blade, yes.

A little smile appeared on her stern face as she dodged one of Kari's arrows.

Eirik: Not all of us are Norse. We have a Native American bush girl with us and our leader is French.

Tomoe: French? I do not know this nationality. Is it closer to the Norse homeland than mine?

With this, she thrust hard toward Eirik's chest, not realising he had stolen her sheath and was holding it dead in-line with her strike. Sword dramatically sheathed, Eirik let it fall to the ground. She was taken at this unorthodox manoeuvre. Eirik stood on the sheathed sword, signalling that the fight was over.

Eirik: Yes. I've not heard of your homeland but you seem to know something about Europe. Come back to our camp and I will show you that everything we have said is true. Help me with Knut, will you? That was quite the blow you dealt him.

A little later...

Eustache saw Kari, Eirik and a thin, stern-looking middle-aged woman carry a limp Knut back into camp.

Eustache: *to self* I can't use my banana with that. *to Tomoe* Madame! To what do I owe this pleasure?

Tomoe: Are you the leader of this group, this 'Frenchman' I've heard so much about?

Eustache bowed. He didn't know whether that was supposed to be complimentary or contemptuous.

A little earlier...

Solveig and Cissé have a little heart-to-heart about Eirik and Kari. Cissé told Solveig the story about the Emperor's New Clothes.

Solveig: That's horrible! The poor emperor was unwittingly living a lie everyone went along with. Someone should have told him. Those hoodwinkers...all for profit and saving their own skin for having no cloth! Grr!

Cissé: So, how can you apply that allegory to this situation?

Solveig: Well, Eirik is certainly profiting from Kari not knowing his secrets. She knows about his drug habit and that he slept with Gwen before he joined us but she doesn't know that he's still going to see her, or that he's seeing Njáll for other pleasures. I guess he is trying to protect her just in case Gwen beats him one day or chops off his manhood. This IS all about his indulgences, his weaknesses. I doubt very much now he's in cahoots with the enemy. He would sooner give his life to spare ours, I'm sure of it. He may well save all of us in the end. Is it right to expose him? Not for that. He isn't doing a huge amount wrong. We all have our vices. Kari doesn't need to know how dependent he is on drugs and sex. It would destroy her. Thank you, Cissé. You've helped me a lot.

Cissé: Glad to be of service, my lady.


	6. Chapter 6

**Day 108**

Gudrun: Are you lost?

Eustache: Being stuck on an enigmatic island with hostile natives and demi-god guardians certainly gives me that feeling.

Gudrun: Hehehehehe.

Eustache: I've been talking to Solveig and Cissé. I'm pretty sure I've cracked your riddle.

Gudrun: AHH!

Eustache: What I'm stuck on is how to expose our traitor and have them disposed of. And what I'll do without them.

Gudrun: Trust me, you'll find a way. Gudrun knows this. But don't act with haste! It is the patient bird who waits who catches the worm.

Eustache: Shouldn't that be the early bird?

Gudrun: Not in this case. Do you know what chickens do to catch their worms?

Eustache: Flit about until they find one?

Gudrun: No. They dance on the ground to make it feel to the worm like it's raining. The worm surfaces, only to be greeted by a fatal beak rather than a shower.

Eustache: Hmmm... *strokes beard*

On his way out, he passes Knut.

Gudrun: Are you lost too?

Knut: No. Solveig asked me to pick up her ointments.

Gudrun: They're over there next to the roots.

Knut: Thanks. Um...

Gudrun: Yes?

Knut: I guess not all healers are so bad.

Gudrun: Now I know you want something.

Knut: Do you have anything to...change Solveig's mind about me?

Gudrun: How so?

Knut: Get her to take me back.

Gudrun: AHH! You don't need it.

Knut: Isn't that for me to decide?

Gudrun: You don't need it because she still loves you and you are close to being given another chance.

Knut: Oh.

Gudrun: Carry on supporting her and don't lose your temper. She will come around.

Knut: Thank you, Gudrun!

Knut leaves the tent with a smile spreading across his face.

Knut: I have an idea...

**Day 109**

Solveig: Knut, this setting looks a little...romantic...

Knut: That's the point. I have two presents for you.

Out of his sack, he produced a beautiful flower carved out of wood and a wooden toy for Thormod.

Solveig: Oh, Knut... I've missed you, in so many ways...

Knut: I know you're not ready but you still deserve these.

Solveig: And you, my beautiful and sensitive husband, deserve my love.

Solveig put her arms round Knut's neck, her pupils dilating and her cheeks getting very rosy.

Knut: Are you sure you want to do this? Now?

Solveig: Shhhh...

She kissed Knut very passionately on the lips and indicated a secluded spot in the woods.

Gudrun, from not too far away...

Gudrun: Slut. I would have made him wait a bit longer before dropping MY knickers. Hel, who am I kidding? No, I wouldn't.

Elsewhere on camp, Eustache finds stockpiles severely depleted, again.

Eustache: Oh, I have had it! This ends now! Cissé, can you bring Eirik here? We'll have to do this without Solveig, Knut and Gudrun.

A little later...

Eirik: You heard him. He doesn't believe me when I say I've never spied for the enemy or given them supplies.

Parvaneh: So, what will you do now?

Eirik: I guess I'll have a pity smoke with Njáll and talk about how doom-and-gloom life is until the moon has been up for a few hours. When he learns I'm no longer a member of this camp, he'll probably want the shirt off my back.

Parvaneh: That won't fit him! He's too tall.

Eirik: What did you just say?

Parvaneh: That he's a lot taller than you.

Eirik: But you've never met him.

Parvaneh: You mentioned it once, I'm sure!

Eirik: No, I didn't.

Parvaneh: Then Cissé must have told me.

Eirik: I haven't told Cissé either and he hasn't met him either.

Parvaneh: Are you sure about that?

Eirik: Absolutely sure.

Parvaneh realised this was a trap and she'd fallen straight into it.

Parvaneh: But never mind about that! I can look after you and you can look after me. You don't need to fight me to get me horny.

Eirik: I don't think so, somehow.

Parvaneh suddenly realised she was surrounded and the circle was tightening.

Parvaneh: All right, fine! I've been conspiring with your enemy and looted your stockpiles on their behalf on many occasions. Happy now?

The flankers closed in.

Cissé: Why would you want harm to come to these good people?

Parvaneh: Good!? Eirik fraternises with your enemy frequently for sex and drugs, Knut is just a brute, the teenage girls don't give a toss about anyone except each other, Eustache has blackmailed me into sleeping with him (which is as good as rape, by the way) AND dancing for all the depraved men in this camp and we don't know enough about Lady Tomoe yet to know what she's really like.

Kari: Daaaad!

Tomoe: I didn't trust you either, if it's any consolation.

Cissé: And yet these people are still more honorable than you.

Eustache: Despite my well-known vices, I am still accepted as leader. What does that tell you?

Parvaneh: That your people are sick?

Cissé: As a healer, I dispute that theory.

Tomoe: Why did you do it?

Parvaneh: I was never yours. I spotted Eustache two nights before you 'rescued' me and knew from the look in his eyes he was talent-spotting. After he left, I alerted the men and was put under guard as a ruse. They fully intended to lose to you, if it came to fighting. It had been decided that I would be more useful in your camp than out. You lot haven't treated me right from day one, so my loyalty has not changed. I'm going back to real men. I'm sick to death of this pathetic little camp of yours. Eirik, will you join me? That offer was genuine and my people would be glad to have you.

Eirik: No, thank you. I am happy here.

Eustache: Strip and get out of here. I don't trust you not to have helped yourself again to our supplies.

Parvaneh: *laughs* Are you for real?

Gudrun: DROP 'EM, BITCH!

Parvaneh looked from face to face to see if anyone was unhappy with the order their leader had given. No. The men wanted flesh and the women wanted humiliation as their revenge.

Parvaneh: But...I'll get raped...

Eustache: You're used to that already. You said that yourself. Furthermore, we don't care. Either you will lose those clothes or we will take them from you by force!

Crying with humiliation and rage, Parvaneh stripped.

Eustache: That wasn't too hard now, was it? Now dance. Then we will let you go.

Parvaneh: I am NOT dancing for you anymore!

Parvaneh heard a twang and a whistling as Kari's shaft appeared just by her foot. Okay, they meant business. With no clothes for protection, taking an arrow anywhere on her body could kill her. So, she danced as provocatively as she could, hoping they wouldn't notice her gathering her clothes back up again. Then another arrow narrowly missed her ear. Maybe not.

Eustache: That's enough now. Pity Knut wasn't around to enjoy that. Never mind. Now get out of our sight before I change my mind!

Parvaneh ran. Nobody stopped her. She had been impressed at how co-ordinated it had been and how everyone swore loyalty to Eustache like that but this was beyond traumatising now. And it wasn't over yet. She gulped at the thought of getting gang-raped.

Eustache stepped forward and examined the clothes. He had been right. She had stowed away some orichalcum beads, wrapped up in cloth so as to not burn herself. There were also two gourds of sage potion and a fire crystal. He held them up for all to see. Despite his vices, he had secured his continuation as leader.


	7. Chapter 7

**Day 110**

A raid party debrief...in excruciating agony...

Kari: Why...for the love of Freyja...did you answer the call to arms yourself and bring Cissé with you?

Eustache: Because we've been sending in our muscle team in for a whole week and have only met low-rank forgettable cronies we could have looted with the right people. The ONE time I turn up with my fellow looter and Gwen's there to greet us. How was I to know?

Cissé: I have an idea. Kari, when you send your arrow into the air, could you not send one with some cloth streaming from it if it's Gwen and a bare arrow if it's only lowly minions?

Kari: I could... actually, that's great. I'll do that.

Eustache: Is Valur completely trained up?

Kari: Yes. I need to show him again each role every 4 days but he can be our guard dog, our attack dog and my personal companion while I'll also have him look for bones whilst having no days with any gap in cover.

Eustache: That's fantastic! Talking of bones, how are the whetstones and suits of armour coming along, Knut?

Knut: Well, but I need a lot more bones, pelts and iron. I can't man the forge for weapons while we need so much rope for the next tribute, either.

Eustache: I guess until that tribute has been paid, Kari can explore cautiously.

Kari: I could but Shanaw is stealthier than me. In the meantime, I guess I could do something with Dad, like hunting, logging or mining. So long as I don't have to carry water or pick fruit with Solveig. Sooo boring and lame.

Eustache: I guess that can be arranged. Lady Tomoe, is everything all right in the pens and on the battlefield for you?

Tomoe: Yes, thank you. The animals are no trouble at all and nor are the foes who have crossed my path so far.

Eustache: Now let's see if Gudrun can fit three of us in her tent at once. I really don't want to be the one sent away with a plaster and a worms poultice again.

Later...

Solveig: I heard what happened. That little madam didn't even want to save poor Eirik, then had the gall to ask him to run away with her! Quite the thief, too.

Eustache: Yes. But this isn't why you brought it up, is it?

Solveig: No. You have made some questionable decisions as leader but stripping her naked in front of everyone and getting her to run off afterwards to her masters still completely naked is a new low in your shameless history.

Eustache: She was a traitor and had to be made an example of in a unique way. Plus, I care more about getting our stuff back than I do about her modesty.

Solveig: Clearly. I'm not saying what she did ought to go without punishment and she's very disposable but there were other things you could have done, I'm sure. So next time we have a traitor or a beautiful young lady amongst us, what will you do with them and how will you justify it?

Eustache: That's too hypothetical and vague for me to answer. Besides, we're full, unless you want Thormod to kip with you and Knut until Gudrun dies of old age or one of us dies from battle injuries.

Solveig: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Kari's mother and aunt could be out there somewhere. Then there are those others you met, that...merchant and...that young monk. Who knows what we might need or who you might find?

Eustache: I guess we'll see.

Solveig: So back to my main point, if you continue with your corrupt, downright cruel shenanigans, I don't think I can stay here with you as leader.

Eustache: That's an empty threat and you know it. You've just reunited with Knut and you love those teenage girls as though they were your own daughters.

Solveig: I guess most of that is true, however I haven't fully reunited with Knut yet. You are not the only one who has unfulfilled needs. If I fully reunite with him now, he could revert to being the callous monster of a husband I left in the first place.

Eustache: Does he know you're not 'together' again yet?

Solveig: Not yet, but I will make sure he knows.

Eustache: So, you won't leave. You will have to put up with me as leader.

Solveig: You can't be unaccountable, Eustache. Someone needs to keep you in check to ensure you don't abuse your power.

Eustache: Yes. Your husband made that very clear 7 weeks ago.

Solveig: And he will again if your tyranny continues!

Eustache: He was noticeably absent this time. You don't agree all the time, eh?

Solveig: No... *impersonates Knut and quotes* Not our problem and that treacherous bitch deserved everything she got *spit* and I would have killed her *spit*

Eustache: I think you'll find that that view is pretty universal around camp. The only reason I didn't have her killed is I feared retribution from the powers that be.

Solveig: You'll still get that. Instead of Björn paying us a visit himself, we'll have half a dozen ordinary thugs turn up on our doorstep, I'm sure.

Eustache: Do you want to take over from Knut as my tactical advisor? Because I think you're right on the money there.

Solveig: I have enough to do as it is, some of which is cleaning up the messes you make!

Eustache: Be that as it may, you still don't want my job. Nor does anyone else.

Solveig: Hmpf!

**Day 111**

Eustache: Cissé, I'm miserable! Play us a tune! Tell us a story!

Everyone else: Hear, hear!

He proceeded to sing/tell/play what was clearly an African version of a combination of the Three Billy Goats Gruff and the Three Little Pigs, only all three goat/pig substitutes survived. It was very upbeat and catchy, making a lot of fun of the descriptions and misfortunes of the troll and wolf substitutes.

**Day 112**

The day had been tense, as had yesterday. Eustache couldn't sleep. The storm raging outside didn't help. Why hadn't they been attacked for ejecting their spy? Would they be cowardly enough to act at night? Soon, he heard men talking in urgent whispers outside. Eustache roused everyone else.

Three men had upturned the non-potable water barrels and were trying to upturn the potable ones. A volley of arrows and pebbles found their marks. There were cries of distress from the sheep. The wood stockpile was ablaze. Some men were amidst trying to torch the shelter. Eustache, Tomoe, Eirik and Knut were soon hacking them to pieces and clobbering them to death. The girls went to sort out whoever was disturbing the sheep. Gudrun, Cissé and Solveig were at once trying to put out the woodpile fire with the water that was left.

Eustache: No! The rain is having no effect, so that water won't! Fill the buckets with sand!

Gudrun and Cissé looked at each other, realising they should have realised that themselves.

Having tackled the immediate foes, the short-range and long-range camp members regrouped and Eustache sent them out to various vantage points to look for any other enemies. Some were in retreat. Eustache got Kari and Shanaw to stand atop the hill between camp and where the enemies were fleeing to, in case reinforcements were dispatched.

The remaining camp members were still trying to put the fires out. It wasn't just the woodpile now; it was the dryer and the tavern too. Thankfully, the woodpile fire was nearly out. Eustache yelled out instructions so that the fires were allocated personnel according to their relative sizes. Within minutes, the fires were all extinguished.

Eustache: Stay there, girls! Eirik and I will come to relieve you in half an hour! If enemies appear before then, shout until you get a response and fire at will!

The rest all filed back into the shelter.

Eustache: We need guardposts. Knut, can you and Eirik start building two small one-man structures with a gong in each?

Knut: Yes. We need a fair amount of stone and wood, though. We might have enough iron. I'll check.

Tomoe: I'll check to see if any of the sheep are still alive.

Gudrun: I'll come with you.

Solveig: Me too.

Knut: You're right about the towers. But we will need two lookouts 24/7.

Eirik: From what I've seen, we cannot explore the island, farm, make weapons and keep up the tributes as it is without sparing two people per shift.

Eustache: Can we make do with one guardtower?

Knut: No. If someone attacks that one tower or the guard falls asleep, we're finished.

Eustache: That leads us to the problems of more recruits and more shelter space. Are you sure we cannot extend the structure further?

Knut: Not really. We are already up against the hillside at each side and the back. The land in front is not suitable to be built on. We can build upwards but the building of the walls, building of a new roof and conversion of the old one will take weeks. I recommend we consolidate what we have as a temporary measure, then build upwards once the guardtowers are finished.

Eustache: Very well. We'll start on bunk beds tomorrow, which should give us a bit more space inside. I can sleep in a hammock, if need be.

Tomoe: We've lost all of them except one ewe, who is badly hurt. Gudrun and Solveig are seeing to her now.

Eirik: Those bastards! Let's relieve Kari and Shanaw.

**Day 113**

There was another attack when the raiding party had regrouped. Nobody had got much sleep, but as they outnumbered the raiding party 7 to 6 and no enemy was particularly special, they were easy to deal with. Eirik, Cissé, Eustache and Knut had started to repair the damage to the dryer and the shelter when Kari had left for her day's explore.

She spotted a portly young man looking very lost and wearing clothes she had never seen before.

Young man: Those cosplay characters in the camp over there are using the acting as an excuse to be mean. I wouldn't go there, if I were you.

Kari: Did you just say cosplay? What is that, anyway?

Young man: It's when you dress up according to a certain TV, computer game or comic franchise or a certain period in history and pretend you are in that universe.

Kari: Are you tripping? You're babbling on about stuff that makes no sense.

Young man: Where are we, anyway? One moment I was home and the next, I'm here in this forest I've never seen before.

Kari: You're starting to freak me out now. Am I really that tired?

Young man: What did you do last night to make you so tired?

Kari: Some of Björn's men attacked our camp last night. Set our stockpile of wood alight, knocked over our water barrels and killed all but one of our sheep. All because we humiliated their spy and ejected her from camp.

Young man: You peeps are taking your war games far too seriously, if you ask me. If you've not heard of cosplay, are you on some reality TV show? Where's your camera crew and director?

Kari: I don't know what you're on about, but by Loki, you're starting to get on my nerves! Now move out of the way so I can continue exploring the island!

Young man: Okay. Sorry.

A little later, while Eustache and Eirik were out logging...

Eustache: This one will do!

Young man: A Frenchman! Thank fuck. You're in cosplay clothes too. Good pirate getup, by the way.

Eustache: This attire isn't for show, boy! I AM a pirate!

Young man: Then you'll know where I'm from! I'm from Guernsey, Channel Islands...

Eustache: Now why would I give a cr- Guernsey, you say? That's the name these Norsemen gave your little French island when they started raiding it!

Young man: I guess none of that will happen now that we're all part of the European Union, hey? Well, Guernsey isn't but the UK is supposed to defend it-

Eustache: WHAT? What are you blabbing about? Those islands are part of the Duchy of Normandy!

Young man: That was until the English Crown lost its Angevin land but the King of France surrendered the Channel Islands, in the 14th century!

Eustache: Don't be silly, lad! We haven't finished the 11th century yet!

Young man: But, but...you're speaking fluent Modern English!

Eustache: No, you're speaking fluent Picard.

Eirik: Actually, you're both speaking fluent Norse.

The other two looked at him, then Eirik and Eustache looked at each other.

Eustache: This island is damn strange. I bet the Blues are behind it.

Young man: Music?

Eirik: No, the blue-skinned guardians of this island.

Young man: Are you two having me on? Is this some kind of joke?

Eustache: Does it look like we're joking?

Young man: I find it hard to tell sometimes. I'm autistic.

Both: You're WHAT?

Young man: Never mind. Once you're finished with that tree, I'll shake your hand. I'm Tom, from what for you is about a thousand years in the future.

Once finished cutting the tree down, they started talking properly.

Tom: Eirik, I saw who might be your daughter earlier. Sharp tongue, irritable, slim, short, looks deadly with a bow, about fifteen years old, short messy black hair, freckles...

Eirik: That's my Kari!

Eustache: Tom, can you fight?

Tom: Not a hope. I'm slow to act, impulsive, cowardly, not very strong, unfit and-

Eustache: I ask because we need to increase the population of our camp quickly.

Tom: To cope with the raids?

Eustache: ...Yes. How did you know?

Tom: Kari mentioned it.

Eustache: Well, I guess the ladies need some relief sometimes. They can't be cooking, foraging and farming 24-7 anymore.

Tom: I can certainly help with those. I'm sure I can also improve your camp with technologies from the future.

Eirik: Technologies? Will they require a lot of training?

Tom: Absolutely not. Making some things in the first instance might take a fair bit of guidance from yours truly but I'm sure they will make your life easier rather than harder.

Eustache: You're quite a find, if a bit weird, mister-

Tom: Moore

Eustache: Sounds...Irish...

Tom: It is. Look at my ginger beard!

Back at camp, everyone could see the benefits of hiring Tom but were very wary of him. He spoke in a strange manner, wore strange clothes, had peculiar mannerisms and above all, he smelt...clean.

Once Tom had been introduced to everyone, the camp stations, equipment and resource stockpiles, he told Eustache he had some solid ideas he wished to put to everyone. So that evening, during dinner...

Tom: In my era, we rely a lot on electricity, massive engineering infrastructure and computers, but there's no way we can do any of that here.

Seeing the quizzical looks on everyone's faces, Tom wished he hadn't mentioned any of those things.

Tom: Electricity is essentially harnessed lightning. In my time, we generate it mostly by burning oil and gas and send it through copper strings to devices that can do things without manual labour. A computer is one of those devices and computers, as well as other things, can get machines to lift very heavy things and carve stone, metal and wood to exactly the shape you want. We also use computers to talk to each other in different parts of the world and to store information instead of using tablets and books but that's another story.

Kari: Is this guy for real? He hasn't said anything useful yet and he's doing my head in with all his future-babble!

Knut: Hear, hear!

Eustache: Get to constructive points, quickly!

Tom: I hear you are building guardtowers. You're going to have an archer or stone-slinger in there at all times, right? What if I told you we could put a crossbow in that tower, mounted to a wooden structure that can be turned, that anyone can use with minimum effort?

Eustache: That's more like it! Knut, Eirik, can this be done?

Knut: I think so but I don't know how the crossbow will work.

Tomoe: Don't worry. I do.

Tom: What if I told you gardening and foraging could be easier and less prone to injury? I suggest we knit protective hand garments so brambles and whatever is in bushes can't harm us.

There was a murmur of agreement from the harvesters.

Tom: Your healing tent and rest area both have bits of cloth for rooves. On hot days and rainy days, wouldn't you like something similar (but bigger) over your workshop, forge and tavern?

There were murmurs of agreement and even excitement now.

Tom: I noticed you brew beer from wheat and rear sheep. What if I told you we could make alcohol from berries and apples? What if I told you keeping chickens and boar would not be too much work? I can improve your bland food, too. We can grow herbs for food in our garden, as well as plant berries so we can have bushes ourselves.

What were murmurs of agreement and excitement were now reaching deafening point.

Tom: What if I were to tell you that we can get drinkable water from seawater? What if I were to tell you I can tell you how to make comfortable armour you can easily move about in? What if I were to tell you about a new type of weapon that requires you to blow poisonous thorns from hollowed plant stalks? What if I were to tell you that those guardtowers can be built from a mixture of sand, water and broken up pebbles and will never catch fire? What if I were to tell you that you can make portable rooves for exploring on rainy days? What if I told you I could make medicine painless? What if I told you I could make your clothes waterproof? All that is a mere taste of what I can do for our camp!

There was a great chorus of table-thumping and cheering now. Eustache was worried to begin with that he had chosen a weird freak nobody would take seriously. After that maiden speech, he was worried this weird future boy was a contender for his leadership.


	8. Chapter 8

**Day 120**

Eustache had called together a council of war.

Eustache: Have you really seen no sign of her anywhere?

Kari: Nope. Either she's ill or she's found out about these whetstones and suits of armour. I doubt we were just unlucky.

Eustache: Knut?

Knut: I'm churning them out as fast as I can in between batches of hemp for rope. They are shiny and strong when they come out but they dull within a week, sometimes lasting only half a week!

Eustache: Eirik, have you been to see her recently?

Eirik: No. Please don't ask me where her residence is. If I told you that, I would not be welcome there anymore. She asks me no questions either.

Eustache: I wasn't asking but one day I will have to ask! Tom, can we do any better for durability?

Tom: Not that I can see without doing stuff from nearer my time I'm incapable of showing you.

Eustache: Knut, can we sustain this level of production?

Knut: No. Iron is running low and I need to concentrate on mining stone for the next tribute.

Eustache: Kari, can you explore more cautiously so as to avoid detection?

Kari: Yes. I'll need stealthier clothes and better shoes, though. Also, can Shanaw come with me?

Eirik: I'll get onto those with Cissé. You'll have all you need in a couple of days.

Eustache: Now that milking and cheesemaking is in full swing, our traps are fully operational and our dryer is fixed and fully upgraded, I don't see why any of us need to fish or hunt too often anymore, tributes permitting. Yes, we can spare Shanaw sometimes but I still want her logging sometimes. We make a good team.

Knut: Are you behaving yourself?

Eustache: I am and I don't want a repeat performance, thanks!

Knut: Why should I believe you?

Kari: Shanaw would have told me if he had tried it on again. He hasn't but I'm keeping an eye on him too!

Eustache: Then it's settled! We concentrate on stone until the tribute is out of the way, then we build the towers, the bunk beds and the second storey, then we stockpile iron, then stockpile whetstones and armour until we have plenty and finally we use them in about ten weeks' time. All happy? Meeting over!

Kari had just stepped outside when she saw someone hurrying off. Parvaneh! She quickly loaded an arrow and shot. As Parvaneh had no idea she had been seen, she didn't hear the arrow until it was too late. It took her through the neck - all the way through. She stumbled and fell, gasping for breath. Her windpipe had been severed and blocked.

Kari: You should have stayed away, bitch!

Parvaneh: Fools! Your trouble is just begin-ggrrrrhhh!

With that, life left her. Eustache carried the body a safe distance and carefully laid her to rest. He then looted the corpse and ran back to camp, fearing reprisal.

That evening...

Tom: Eustache, you said when you met me you thought I was speaking Picard. Is Picardy the region you're from?

Eustache: Yes. My father was the Count of Boulogne.

Tom: If it makes you feel better, I think one of your family line, Eustace II of Boulogne, helped William II, Duke of Normandy to conquer England later this century.

Eustache: That...would not be one of my line. My family was murdered by another Count. I entered his service as a failed monk, not knowing who was behind the massacre. I asked him to restore my land and titles. He tricked me into going to court. He took all the land for himself and stripped me of my rights. I put paid to him and became a pirate but one of his younger sons no doubt took the countship of Boulogne.

Tom: That's...wow...I can't find the words...

Eustache: Thanks for cheering me up, kid!

Tom: Sorry, I had no idea.

Eustache: We need to be alert tonight. I don't think Björn's men will want to give us a chance to prepare this time. EVERYONE! We may well be attacked tonight. We need to be on our guard. Girls, please take the first watch on the hill and yell if anyone approaches.

There was an attack that night. And the next night. And the third. Once again, Eustache had to call a council of war.

Eustache: I know we're all very tired but we need to start building those towers with mounted crossbows right away!

Knut: Agreed. Once we give that weasel Elof *spit* his stones tomorrow, I can devote most of my energy to it, besides mining.

Tomoe: I'll help you mine. The ewes are in pretty good shape now, so I can leave them most of the day.

Eustache: Tom, do you still use crossbows in your time?

Tom: Only for scientific research where we need to be quiet. For policing, we use clubs and guns. For war, we use guns, aeroplanes and submarines.

He saw the blank look on everyone's faces.

Tom: Guns are iron sticks that expel iron balls, propelled by black powder. Aeroplanes are iron birds big enough to house people (we use those for travel mainly but in war, we put guns on those and drop explosive devices called bombs). Submarines are tube-shaped boats that can dive and come back up again. We put torpedoes on those. Torpedoes are projectiles like arrows but shaped like a cross between an egg and a tree trunk.

Again, there were blank expressions, except for one.

Tomoe: Black powder is a chemical mixture to make things go bang. We might find some sulphur deposits to mine at the volcano but we do not have the technology to refine it or produce black powder from it.

There were sighs of disappointment round the table. An exasperated Eustache tried to keep the discussion on track.

Eustache: Tom, what I should have asked is have you ever seen a crossbow or seen a schematic for one?

Tom: Only in films and... no, I haven't seen one up close or seen a schematic for one. Didn't you people learn anything from the Romans or the Greeks?

Once again, there were blank looks all round.

Tom: Have ANY of you heard of Rome, Byzantium or Constantinople? THAT empire. I'm sure the Franks would have used them too for siege warfare, Eustache. Tomoe, surely the Samurai learned a few technologies off the Chinese!

Eustache: That's more like catapults! The device you're on about isn't one of those machines, is it? How can we get THAT in a tower?

Tomoe: Yes, the Samurai are very familiar with these weapons, both the siege kind and the handheld kind. Eirik, in between mining and shepherding, I would like to build the crossbows with you and their rotatable mounts.

Eirik: That would be great! But are you sure you'll have time?

Eustache: I'm sure Solveig won't mind minding the sheep for a week two. Cissé can cook, if he promises to keep his recreational crap away from the pot!

Eirik: I'm sure he'd love to. Cissé is always aiming to please.

Eustache: *whispering to Kari* I think we may have another eavesdropper.

Kari silently left the table and cautiously poked her head out the doorway. Nobody by the front door, in any case. What about round the side?

Eustache: Tom, can you make this...concrete...you speak of?

Tom: I...I think so. My stepdad used it as a ground floor when he built our house. He made it in a rotating barrel on site and talked me through it. I was very young, though.

Eustache: I guess that will have to-

There was a twang from a bowstring outside. Everybody hurried out, in case there were more than one.

They could see Parvaneh zigzagging to make her escape. How?

Kari ran after her and pounced, pinning Parvaneh to the ground. The others surrounded her.

Kari held her bow to Parvaneh's throat.

Kari: Tell us how you are still alive!

Parvaneh smirked and choked a hoarse response.

Parvaneh: You don't know? Then I shan't tell you. You've already killed me once this week.

Kari: Well, we certainly won't have you tell your masters what you heard tonight!

Kari pushed her bow hard into Parvaneh's throat to suffocate her.

Parvaneh: You don't get it, d-

Eustache looted the corpse and tossed it over the cliff. Parvaneh's limp form tumbled, bounced and landed on a tall rock protruding from the ocean, the body and limbs now arranged in a fashion almost unrecognisable as human. Nobody could have survived that.

The council reconvened.

Eustache: We are all thinking it, I can tell. How, who (if applicable) and what next? Gudrun, can you offer any explanations?

Gudrun: No, I can't. This island is unlike any I have encountered before. In a way, we are further from the gods than ever, and yet, closer than we ever have a right to be! I don't understand...yet.

Eustache: Cissé, are there any tales among your people like this?

Cissé: No.

Eustache: Tom, do you know of any knowledge, witchcraft or otherwise, that can bring people back from the dead?

Tom: Occasionally doctors in my time can bring people back but it's very rare. Certainly nothing like this. In fact, I would go as far as to say this is more like two fictitious stories I know that were written in my time. In one, the island had miraculous healing properties and guardians who could either heal or destroy in deity-like ways. In the other, people were not people as such but machines taking the place of people. Copy after copy came off the workshop line.

Eustache: Hmm. I think we need to pay our island guardians a visit. After tonight's raids, of course.


	9. Chapter 9

**Day 121**

Loki: What is it you want? I have a sky to watch.

Eustache: Can you explain to us why one of our enemy whom we had killed was found in our camp less than a week later?

Loki: If you are asking if I made one of your enemies look like another, then the answer is no. If you are asking me if I can make a bargain with Hel as to leave someone alive but at a great price, the answer is still no.

Eustache: Do you know who might know?

Loki: One of my brethren might know. Hel, your enemy might know! Hahahaha!

Eustache: Thanks for nothing, Loki.

Loki: If you want goods, trinkets or fertile sheep, I can help you...

Eustache: Stay away from our sheep!

Loki: What, and leave them all for you?

Eustache: ALL RIGHT, THEN! WHAT ABOUT WOMEN? WHERE CAN WE FIND MORE OF THOSE?

Loki: You're easy to taunt, aren't you? You'll find women with the other tribes, but not many. I think two women see Freyja a lot.

Eustache: Thanks.

Thor: WHO STANDS QUAKING BEFORE THE MIGHTY THOR?

Knut: Knut of Jutland, Dänmarck!

Thor: What dost thou want from Thor? I don't have all day.

Knut: Does this island resurrect the dead?

Thor: Why? Do you want an undead army to fight your battles for you? Wimp!

Knut: No. A traitor we had killed entered our camp last night.

Thor: Are you sure you're not just tired, wimp? Hahahaha.

Knut: No. We all saw her. Up close. We killed her again and disposed of the body in a more...final way.

Thor: So, art thou asking the mighty Thor if he is capable of doing this?

Knut: Yes.

Thor: I'm a killing machine, not a healing machine. Go see Freyja and leave me with this troll in peace.

Freyja: You look as tired as me, child! How can I help?

Cissé: O wise Freyja, do you, this island or anyone else on it have the power to bring the dead back to life?

Freyja: Oh!

Her usual mystical and superior yet kind demeanour dropped for a moment, like she had been caught out. Then she regained her composure.

Freyja: You are not ready to know. Your camp is nearly ready but...not yet.

Cissé: When will we be ready? Please don't say 'soon'.

Freyja: You would be better hearing it from a fellow mortal. One such mortal dwells in a cave near the volcano.

Cissé: Alas O wise one, we have not explored that far yet. The island keeps...changing...

Freyja: Haha! Then I suggest you concentrate a little more on exploration. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Cissé: Well...some of the male members of our camp (including myself) are...lonely...

Freyja: Hahahaha! Again, I urge you to seek the mortal who dwells in the cave near the volcano. She is not alone but I guess they are...lonely too. Hehehe.

Cissé: Thank you, O wise one!

At dinner, once the conversations with the Blues had been retold...

Eustache: I think we can afford to have three go exploring now. It looks like we have no choice. I'll go. Tom, how are we doing gathering ingredients for this concrete of yours?

Tom: We're about done. Knut said he'd dry out the chalk overnight in the forge, so we'll have quicklime by the morning.

Eustache: Great! Will you teach Knut and Eirik tomorrow? The girls and I need to get to the volcano and fast. If all goes well, we can have the towers built in four days! Does anyone else have anything to add? No? Meeting over!

Tom: Psst, Eustache. What have the men done for companionship since they got here?

Eustache: Parvaneh. She danced for us and slept with me.

Tom: Ohh. She's definitely attractive. Shame she's a backstabbing cow.

Eustache: Are you trying to depress me again, boy?

Tom: Not at all! What have the guys done since you ejected her?

Eustache: Eirik goes sneaking off to see a giant-ogre hybrid every so often, Knut and Solveig are slowly getting back together, I don't know what Cissé does and Gudrun makes me this foul brown brew that keeps my interest in ladies down.

Tom: Oh. Would the girls be interested in...a threesome?

Eustache spat out his beer in shock and everyone looked at them both, hushed.

Eustache: Do you want to suggest that a bit louder, boy? I don't think they heard you.

Tom: So, Kari, Shanaw...ahem...is there room for...a guy to join in?

Eustache facepalmed and Eirik and Solveig looked alarmed.

Kari and Shanaw both slapped Tom hard across the face. Shanaw growled menacingly. Kari spat.

Solveig: Does that answer your question?

Tom slumped in shame.

Tom: Loud and clear.

Eirik: Tom, could I have a word outside?

Tom gulped and left the table, white as a sheet.

Once outside, Eirik put a hand on Tom's back.

Eirik: Let's go for a walk, shall we?

Once they were out of earshot of the shelter, Eirik initiated.

Eirik: I'm not angry. Far from it. There are less discreet ways a man can ask a lady such things. I honestly thought my daughter would appreciate the boldness. She needs someone who can balance her and you two are polar opposites, so...

Tom: Eirik, I really appreciate it but 1) she clearly isn't interested and 2) she and Shanaw might be lesbians. I was trying just in case they're bisexual.

Eirik: Lesbians? Bisexual? What do these future words mean?

Tom: Lesbians are women who are interested in women, not men. Bisexual people are interested in both men and women.

Eirik: So, you think they're...having a relationship?

Tom: I know they are. I saw them having sex the other day.

Eirik: Did you stick around?

Tom: Part of me wanted me to, but no.

Eirik: If only Moira were with us. She's always horny. It usually comes out as quips, like you make. I think you two would have got on very well, actually.

Tom: What happened?

Eirik: When we shipwrecked, Kari and I were knocked unconscious. When we came to, my wife Blodeuwedd and her sister Moira were gone. I looked for them tirelessly. We still haven't seen them since we got here.

Tom: That's really sad. You and Kari have coped well, considering.

Eirik: Kari is not as tough as she looks, believe me. I'm glad she found Shanaw. Without her and me, she would have been very withdrawn, humorless and snappy than she is now. She misses Blod a lot. I, however, gave in to drugs I found. I still take them when I can find them.

Tom: Your secret is safe with me.

Eirik: Haha! Don't worry, lad. They all know.

Tom: Blodeuwedd, Moira... they don't sound very Norse...

Eirik: They're from Wales. Flaming red hair is the only hint of what they left behind, though. They were brought up as Norse as Knut, Solveig and me.

Tom: How-?

Eirik: Our Jarl at the time raided the Welsh South Coast and kidnapped them as trophies, being daughters of the local chieftain. He then brought them up (very well, I might add) and loved them as his own daughters. But I digress. I suggest you ask Gudrun nicely if she will brew you up some of the stuff she gives Eustache.

Tom: Thanks, Eirik! For the chat and not running me through.

Eirik: Think nothing of it! We all get not-so-bright ideas sometimes! Come. I think I hear Cissé's strange instrument.

They met Solveig on the way back.

Solveig: Thank Freyja nothing happened!

Eirik: Solveig, a word, if I may. Tom, inside!

**Day 122**

Knut had set up an open barrel, elevated at 30 degrees, that could be rotated with the turn of a handle. There were little casks of non-potable water, sand and shattered stones. Knut was just taking chalk out of the forge that had been left in there overnight to dry out. Everyone except the explorers were gathered round.

Tom: I'm not completely sure this is how to do it but it's what makes the most sense from what I remember.

He tipped some water and some lime into the drum and started to turn the handle. It was like a huge mixing bowl. He then added some sand and some shattered stone. Again, he turned the handle. Next, he tipped some water in, then more lime. Once this had been repeated a few times, he shovelled some of the mixture out and dropped the load in a hole between some wood.

Tom: Let's leave it to set. After 30 minutes or so, we should be able to remove the wood and have the column stand in its own right. Two hours after that, it should be rock hard. Even Knut would have a hard time smashing it up!

Knut: Is that a challenge?

Tom: It certainly is, my friend!

They went to their morning tasks and came back at midday. Knut swung his hammer into the column. Some dust came off but no crack. Knut took a bigger swing. Again, it didn't break. Knut gave a mighty heave and put all his weight into the downward plunge. The hammer vibrated out of his hands.

Knut: Ow! That's some tough material, kid. You have my respect.

Tom spent the rest of the day teaching Knut and Eirik what cement was, how to make concrete blocks and how to fit them together in the traditional half-overlap pattern. Tom was secretly worried about how the towers top layers would be built safely. They would have to build a wooden staircase first and use it as scaffolding. That would mean these towers could not be that much higher than a ladder and not very wide. Did they even have ladders here? Again, he would need to teach them.

**Day 123**

Gudrun and Cissé are gathering leaves and seeds.

Gudrun: I'm getting too old for this, you know. In fact, I'm getting too old full stop.

Cissé: Everyone relies on your guidance! And your...um...interesting potions that seem to work every time.

Gudrun: Exactly my point. I need a successor. I feel Helgate will soon be before me.

Cissé: Not too soon, I hope!

Gudrun: No, not that soon! I still have time to train but my time is running out.

Cissé: You could train me, O Wise One!

Gudrun: You, laddie? You're somewhat connected to the spirit world but you only feel the surface, you hear the voices but you don't know who is saying them or why. Plus, you are far too clumsy and not forthright enough! You're such a pushover! You need lots of strength to be a Völva, and subtle leadership skills, to drive from the back.

Cissé: Eirik is a better man since I met him!

Gudrun: There's my point! He still goes to see that...that beast...for sex and I can't produce Loki's Delight fast enough! Who else have you 'helped' since you joined our camp?

Cissé: I helped Solveig. She was too suspicious of Eirik. Had I not intervened, Kari would have had to choose between her father and her foster mother. No child should go through that.

Gudrun: Kari still found out though, didn't she? It would have been better coming from one she trusted and loved!

Cissé: I...can't see Eirik ever having the courage to tell Kari what he's been up to.

Gudrun: See? You're such a soft touch, he considers you fun to be with! All he'll ever learn from you is how to be laidback!

Cissé: I...guess you're right. I'm not cut out to be a Völva. Changing the subject, what do you think of Tom's ideas for camp upgrades and strategy?

Gudrun: Normally I would say they were out of place and don't belong here but the island brought him here and he has no other strengths to justify his existence with us. He's weak, unfit and a coward. He's too squeamish to be a healer. No, the island brought him here for a reason. I feel that we may come to rely on his technologies very soon, that these attacks will get worse.

Cissé: I feel the same. I'm glad we agree.

**Day 124**

Eustache: Freyja, we've reached the volcano but...it's huge!

Freyja: Haha. It's a volcano, child! What did you expect?

Eustache: What I mean is it will take us a long time to search round it. Can't you just tell us who is in there and where it is?

Freyja: Haha. That would make it too easy. Besides, I don't know which cave they are in. There are a few caves in the vicinity of the volcano. Continue scouting around and come back to me in a few days. By then, I will have asked them which cave they are in.

Eustache: *sneers* Come on, girls!

The raids had all been by night so far, but this afternoon...

Knut: Oh, no! Eirik - we have company.

Eirik: Cissé! Tom! Tomoe!

The five of them had six enemies to deal with. This would normally have been fine but Tom was white as a sheet. Knut decided he had to give them all some encouragement.

Knut: THEY HAVE COME TO SEE OUR TOWERS BUT NONE SHALL LIVE TO TELL THE TALE! WE USUALLY CRUSH THEM LIKE PANSIES. LEAVE NONE ALIVE! LOOT THE CORPSES AT WILL!

Tom: But I have no weapon! What shall I do?

Eirik: Take my sword and shield. You'll find them heavy but you should manage. I'll use one of the hunting bows.

Tom had tried fencing and archery. He was good at neither. He saw four were all stuck in one-on-ones. A shieldmaiden was doing her best to run between them with her shield. Eirik was shooting from the back. There was an archer at the back of the enemy line. Tom decided to charge him, taking care to watch where his arrows were going and fending off accordingly. The archer dodged. An arrow went whistling after Tom as he steadied himself. Seeing this coming, he ducked and held the shield in front of him. Tom then pounced on the archer (who was now right next to him), shield first from above. This winded the archer and crushed his legs. Still sitting on top of his assailant, Tom clumsily unsheathed the sword and made a downward plunge for the archer's head. The archer dodged but Tom's aim wasn't straight and he connected from sheer dumb luck. The archer shrieked in agony. Tom jumped up, having not maimed anyone before and was horrified at what he saw. He looked up. Everyone was occupied. He had to finish this or the poor archer would suffer. He hacked away at the archer's neck, eventually severing it. Tom couldn't look. He was not used to this. He looked up and saw a plunderer coming towards him. He dodged just in time. Again, he thrust Eirik's shield forward. It missed. His foe laughed.

Plunderer: You aren't used to the battlefield, are you, boy? Good job I can put you out of your miser-AARGGHHH!

Kari had fired at his leg.

Tom punched him in the face. The wrong way. His hand hurt. Next, Eustache was behind the plunderer and cut his throat.

Eustache: Don't worry, lad. We'll finish this.

Kari: What the fuck are you doing with my dad's sword and shield?

Tom: Your father kindly lent them to me and took a hunting bow for himself. I'm useless at archery.

Kari: We know. No thanks to you, my dad has a maimed face and a dislocated shoulder. Leave those there now and get out of my sight!

Tom did as he was bidden.

Eustache: I think he killed that archer over there. What a butcher, though.

Kari: I don't care. He's an annoying perv who doesn't deserve to touch my dad's stuff.

Eustache: You still haven't forgiven him for the other night, have you?

Kari: How can I? He offered to invade my privacy and thought nothing of asking. Men are so gross.

The battle was nearly over. The shieldmaiden tried to make a run for it but was soon felled by a well-aimed pebble from Shanaw. Eustache went over to cut her throat and loot her pockets. He also had a grope at her chest and hoped nobody had noticed. He rushed back while everyone else was looting the other bodies and disposing of them.

Eustache: Knut, can these towers be finished tomorrow?

Knut: Yes, but not the crossbow housing.

Eustache: That's something, I suppose. What about the gongs?

Knut: Yes. They are ready.

Eustache: Can you and Cissé prioritise the bunk beds over the crossbow undercarriages, please? I think we'll need to greet two new camp additions when we find these two cave dwellers.

Knut: Aye, aye, Captain!

**Day 126**

Eustache: So which cave is it?

Freyja: The one to the southwest of the crater, 1,000 paces from the shoreline. There's a copse nearby. But be warned. They are a bit...wild and paranoid. Send along only your family man and your knowledgeable man from another culture.

Eustache: Cissé or Tom?

Freyja: You decide. Either will do.

Eustache thinks to himself that Tom might have outspent his usefulness. The camp didn't really need umbrellas, gloves or gazebos... Time to throw him to the lions.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time Eirik and Tom had reached the cave, it was dusk. The cave had a bend in it a few paces off the entrance.

Tom: There're traps everywhere. Be careful, man.

Wild woman 1: THAT'S RIGHT, COME CLOSER! MORE CORPSES TO LOOT! HEHE!

Wild woman 2: Maybe get my necropants! Haha!

Wild woman 1: WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THOSE HORRID THINGS?

Eirik: Blod? Moira?

Blod & Moira: EIRIK!?

Blodeuwedd poked her head around the corner, her expression changing from surprise to delight, relief and warmth.

Blod: Eirik! I thought I'd lost you forever! Is it really you?

Eirik: Yes, Blod. How are you keeping?

Blod: Oh, you know... a fight with Björn's goons here, a quest from Freyja there... Is Kari with you?

Eirik: No, she's either exploring or back at camp. So, where did you go when we shipwrecked?

Blod: Where did YOU TWO go, you mean? We went off to find plants to revive both of you. When we got back, you'd both gone. We looked for you but couldn't find you. When we met Björn, we thought you might be... might be... part of his... skull collection.

Eirik: We had similar thoughts. But we're together again now, right?

Blod: It's been too long. Come here, you!

They embraced with a passionate kiss that soon turned X-rated.

Moira: What's your name, handsome?

Tom: Tom, m'lady.

Moira: There's nothing ladylike about me. Want some?

Tom: Depends what's on offer. I'm quite fuss- ooooh! I'm in!

Once they got back to camp late morning, Eirik's family reunited and had a group hug. At noon, Eustache gathered everyone for a meeting.

Eustache: So, what have you done since you arrived and what are you two bringing to the table?

Blod: I'm a good cook, am adept at hunting, logging, gathering berries, herbs, not bad at gardening and am quite the demon in battle.

Kari: Don't lie, Mum! Back home, you left all the outdoorsy stuff to Dad and me.

Blod: That was before your aunt and I had to survive here on our own. I...actually rather enjoy doing stuff away from camp! Even if one of the things Freyja got me to do was climb down into the volcano and throw something into it lest it ever erupt again. And the rune puzzles...argh!

Moira: We had to cope on our own fighting off Björn's horde, feeding ourselves and doing those rune puzzles, just the two of us! As for me, I'm a witch, or at least that's what they say. Pity nobody has any idea what a witch is! I am a botanist, alchemist, healer and scholar. I'm not too shabby with animals. Don't ask me to cook, though.

Tom: Alchemist, you say? Do you know how to make niter and can you tell fool's gold from real gold?

Moira: Do I! If you're lucky, you can find deposits of niter in caves. Boil it up with a little water and filter with wood ash. You can do the same with guano. There's usually plenty in bat caves. Hel, if you have your own sheep, their excrement mixed with the remains of your fire can do the trick. Fool's gold does not shine. It is made up of iron and sulphur. It's usually found in coal and rocks. Where are you going with this?

Tom: As I'm sure Lady Tomoe will now agree, I think we _can_ make gunpowder here! We can also make guns, which are basically hollow iron tubes with handles and a trigger so that the combustibles can meet to send a projectile out.

Knut: Hollow iron tubes? That's delicate work. I might be able to make one for each of us, but they will each take a day to forge. The projectiles will be easier. I could make ten of those in a morning or afternoon. Could you draw me some schematics?

Tom: Of course.

Tomoe: I see. We mine sulphur and pyrite from the volcanic slopes, then combine it with niter, charcoal and an iron bit in a small iron barrel to send said iron bit into a foe. That's brilliant!

Moira: We would need to keep sulphur, niter, pyrite and iron out of the rain. Anything with sulphur in it gives off a smell of rotting eggs when wet and shrinks. Iron, as we know, rusts unless we alloy it. Also, any spare guano or niter can be used as fertiliser. Bones can also be used as fertiliser.

Tom: Speaking of bones, I also propose we start mining charcoal, not just to use in the guns but also in the forge and to make steel. What were you thinking, using bones as a substitute? You'd have been screwed if Valur died!

He looked around and the forgers looked foolish but also annoyed that he had told them off over it. Eustache tried to get everyone's attention back on track.

Eustache: Knut, are the two bunks assembled yet? How long will it take to build the crossbow supports and make the crossbows?

Knut: Yes for bunk beds, two days for crossbows and supports.

Eustache: Then please concentrate on the crossbows and then the guns. So, ladies, Freyja said you would be able to tell us why one of our enemies whom we killed turned up in our camp a few days after?

Moira: For all the Norse here, don't you ever listen to your skalds? This is exactly like the Battle of the Heodenings!

Eustache: The what?

Moira: Basically, the dead get resurrected and we fight for all eternity. Or until the Blues get bored. I still don't get what their game is.

Later...

Blod: So Eirik, what's been happening while I've been away?

Eirik: We've managed to settle down here. The hordes do pose a problem sometimes and having to focus a third of our energy on the tributes doesn't help. Eustache, Knut and Gudrun are good enough leaders in their respective fields to make it work with the manpower and skillsets each of us have. Cissé has been a reliable friend at my side since before we joined. Solveig is an amazing mother figure in camp, especially to the girls. The girls are in a romantic relationship with each other, by the way.

Blod: I guess it's just as well they're here and not back home. Those girls would ruin their life chances of being respected women in society by behaving like that.

Eirik: I agree. Best not rock the boat, given the gravity of our situation. We have relied mostly on Shanaw for catching our food and Kari for exploring the island. The rebellion is not worth it. They would just leave and get taken down by the gangs.

Blod: No, I don't want to think about it. You're right. I'll bite my tongue.

Eirik: If Tom seems a bit odd, it's because he's from the future. He's helping improve the technologies in camp so we can live more comfortably and defend better against the hordes.

Blod: Future? How is that possible?

Eirik: None of us have any idea, Blod, least of all him. You should have seen him in the woods when we met him. He thought we were all in costume for some kind of party. He also prattled on about stuff only someone from the future would know about. It was as much a shock to him as it was to us when he realised he wasn't in his own time. He's trying to fit in here the best he can. He still sticks out like a sore thumb but he still does enough and teaches enough to earn respect.

Blod: I should hope so, too.

Elsewhere...

Knut: Have you met Blodeuwedd? Despite her foreign name, she's a proud Norsewoman through and through! She also has some great skills we could really use here. Not sure about her sister, though. She's another one of those healers who are apparently not witches. *spit*

Solveig: Now, now, my love! I agree. I like both of them a lot already. It's great for Kari to have all her family back.

Knut: Yes. Let's hope Blod doesn't find out what Eirik's been up to.

Solveig: So long as he doesn't cheat on her now he knows she's still alive, I won't tell if you won't.

And yet another conversation is taking place...

Eustache: So, this sulphur, can we get any on this island? Do we have to purify it?

Moira: There are several deposits near the volcano. It might even be worth blasting a hole in the rock face and start mining if there seems to be a lot. It's bright yellow but not shiny. It shouldn't need purifying. Failing that, there's usually pyrite in slag from purifying iron. That doesn't need to be purified and can be used as is instead of pure sulphur. All the better is it's mixed with coal or charcoal.

Eustache: And niter? How quickly can you make batches?

Moira: Purifying it takes 24 hours but I can set loads off at once. The more we do at once, the less time we waste.

Eustache: Good. Sorry for all the questions. We badly need those guns if we are to keep on top of these raids. I fear they'll get worse.

Yawn...

Shanaw: Is Kari happy mum and aunt back in her life?

Kari: I won't deny it. I've missed them terribly. It won't be long before mum starts nagging and laying down the law, though.

Shanaw: What will Kari's mum say about us?

Kari: She won't be pleased. If we were together in my homeland, we would have been outlawed or married off. Hopefully Dad won't let her do or say anything, though.

Shanaw: That good. But what she say about his big scary woman and dope friend?

Kari: Hopefully she won't find out. We'll definitely know about it if she does. Mum used to rouse the whole village when she had a go at dad about anything back home. Gwen and Njáll will hear it too, I'm sure.

That evening, another Council of War meeting is taking place, with Kari stationed just outside. So that she could listen and contribute, they were speaking slightly louder. Normally, Kari could hear fine, but it was raining. Hopefully that meant eavesdroppers would be discouraged but Kari would have a hard job seeing them. Shanaw was in one tower (armed with her slingshot) and Solveig in the other (with a pile of pebbles to chuck).

Eustache: Firstly, I think they know we are planning something big, but don't know what, hence all the scouts and raiding parties. Secondly, they have realised that attacking us at night is a bad idea if we are all alert because we're all here. I think we were given 90 fruit as this week's tribute target just so at least two of us would be out of camp at once during the day. Of course, it would normally be at least six, sometimes means during the day, they only have to greet 4-6 of us here, compared with all 12 of us at night. But now that we have the towers up and we have two long-range weapon types about to be deployed, we can soon take on up to ten foes at a time. Once we all have a gun, we will be able to cope with more and the out-of-camp tasks won't be as dangerous. Mind, we still have ambushes to worry about.

Tom: And rains of javelins. They were very important in the Stone Age.

Eustache: When was that?

Tom: From 250,000 years ago to about 10,000 years ago, according to mosy of our historians. There were also chariots 20,000 to 1,500 years ago but, like siege artillery, they can't be used in forests.

Eustache: Are we likely to see any javelins?

Tom: No. I don't think our enemies have even heard of pikemen. Long spears aren't exactly a Norse thing.

Eustache: Then why did you bring it up?

Tom: Sorry. Please continue.

Eustache: Nrgh. Where was I? Oh, yes. I think we will need to do some hunting while we're exploring some mornings so we're not living completely off cheese and what little dried food we have left. Tom, what about these gloves you were on about for gathering fruit?

Tom: I can certainly make a start. I need some fabric but would prefer tanned cow hide or boar hide (fur left on), or perhaps rabbit hide. I can also whip up for you very quickly a gutter system so we can gain more non-potable water during wet conditions. It would run off the shelter roof and straight into the main barrel. I also have another idea that will be of benefit while we have perishable food tributes.

Eustache: Go on.

Tom: A larder. I don't just mean wooden racks in an isolated room. That's how food goes off, being exposed to the air all the time and allowing whatever little creatures to make it go mouldy and such like can spread from unit to unit. No, I'm talking about a simple wooden structure that is basically a chest of drawers. You only use a drawer for whatever you are stowing away at that time (e.g. meat you've just butchered or fruit you've just foraged) and leave it in there on its own until it needs to come out. This preserves food in three ways: 1) no sunlight, so no fading or breaking down to toxic waste; 2) very small amout of air also means very limited breaking down of the food to toxic waste and 3) because they each have their separate compartment, any mould starting in one batch cannot spread to the others. You could wrap each batch in fabric or wool but as we don't have much in the way of material, this is overkill. When you empty a drawer, wash it out thoroughly with salt and water, then leave out to dry and put back once bone dry. I can also teach you how to make soap, which can clean better than salt.

Eustache: Gloves, gutter system, compartment-based larder, soap... you have your work cut out there and we need them quickly. Cissé, please help Tom make these.

Cissé: Certainly.

Eustache: Knut, I know you are busy with the crossbows and supports. Do you need help?

Knut: I would very much appreciate Eirik's help.

Eirik: Then you shall have it.

Eustache: So Gudrun, Lady Tomoe, Moria and Blodeuwedd, could you ensure that between you and Solveig that the berries are picked twice daily in order to make this tribute, that logging gets done twice every three days and that you keep the farming, herb gathering, healing and cooking going as necessary?

Tomoe: Do you want us to do any mining?

Eustache: Actually, that would be a great help, if you have time. If you concentrate on iron and stone round here, the girls and I can focus on sulphur around the volcano.

Moira: I'd better come with you on your first trip so you know what you're doing.

Eustache: Good idea. Does anyone have any other business? No? Meeting over!

Tom went over to pet Valur. Valur appreciated the attention.

Eustache: Have you had dogs growing up?

Tom: Yes, several of them. My mum still has a dog now and my dad is about to get a Schnauser. Did you have one when you were young?

Eustache: Yes. He was a Berger Picard, a Picardy Shepherd. Sweet, excellent temperament, intelligent, would only eat good food... I miss René. He died just before I headed to the monastery. You really have a way with depressing me, boy!

Tom: Sorry.

The next two days went by relatively uneventfully. When Knut and Eirik had finished the crossbows and their mounts, everyone had a go at target practice. Tom explained how, the further away the target was, the higher up the aim had to be offset. This would have come second nature to Kari and Eirik, only the bolts (as Tom insisted on calling the arrows without tails) moved quicker than arrows from a conventional bow, therefore the compensation for gravity didn't need to be as much. Tom was stunned how there was no substitute vocabulary pre-Newtonian, seeing as everyone knew that things in the air dropped to Earth unless they were very light or had wings and that it was an important part of training for the release of projectiles. Then some of Björn's scouts turned up, so the practice suddenly turned into a wet run. Well, I say uneventful, that was until, at about 9pm...

**Day 127**

Blod: Where have you been?

Eirik: To get some more wood. Do we have any more roasted meat? I'm starving.

Blod: No. I can see from your hands that you've been gathering some wood but you don't look tired enough and you were gone ages.

Eirik: I...had to gather my thoughts alone. I think I'll get some cheese.

Blod: I don't believe you. You stink of some herb or other, your eyes have gone strange and you can't think of anything except food. What do you think my sister or Gudrun would conclude?

Eirik: Can't talk. Eating.

Blod: Will you pack it in? What's wrong with you tonight? Actually, don't bother.

Gudrun: He's been consuming Loki's Delight. It impairs judgement. It makes people misrecognise things, find everything funny or scary, either very calm or very paranoid. They call it spaced out or twitchy. Plus, it makes people crave food like there's no tomorrow. They call that the munchies. Small doses to those who are used to it doesn't make the head or body that badly but it can make people pass out if they have too much and make people throw up if they drink beer or mead at the same time. They call that whiteying. If someone has it too much and too often over a long period of time, they can't function anymore. They call that being a vegetable.

Blod: I see. How long has he been taking it and where/who does he get it from?

Gudrun: Since before he joined our camp. Usually from me, Cissé or that Njáll fella.

Blod: That mega depressed one?

Gudrun: Yup.

Blod: This is a lot to take in. Why have you been giving it to him?

Gudrun: 1) He's been getting things for me in return. 2) He's an addict. Leaving addicts without their fix drives them mad and can cause more damage to their health and wellbeing than letting them continue.

Blod: Was anyone planning on telling me?

Gudrun: We hoped it would come from him but he's too much of a coward.

Blod: He was looking after Kari while taking this stuff?

Gudrun: Yes, but there's more to it than that. You ought to know. He arrived a long time after Kari did.

Blod: But how? Did they get separated?

Gudrun: That's for Eirik to say, not me. I'm sure he'll tell you the rest now that I've told you most of it. Kekekeke.

**Day 128**

Knut: Here. Is this what you expected?

Tom: Yes. You've done very well, Knut.

Knut: Can you show me how it works?

Tom aimed at a tree and pulled the trigger. With a bang, the iron bullet left a smoking hole in the tree.

Tom: Don't shoot at solid sheets or blocks of metal or concrete. It can bounce off and go anywhere, even back at who fired it. Fired at the right place, it can kill someone. Loading takes time, as I will demonstrate, so if you miss, your opponent will have time to retaliate if they are close enough or have a long-range weapon.

Knut: Where can it kill?

Tom: In the head, lungs, heart or liver. Elsewhere, it will be excruciatingly painful and likely immobilise them. It's basically a deadlier, smaller version of an arrow. Also, if you make the bullet out of copper or brass rather than iron or steel, if you strike an otherwise non-fatal place, some of the copper will turn green and poisonous under the intense heat. They would need it removed by a medic very quickly to have any chance of living because once it's in their blood, it will go up to their brain and kill them.

Knut: Normally, I would say this is how cowards and women fight. On this occasion, with all our enemies coming back from the dead, I think anything we can do to keep them down is wise.

Blod: You WHAT? Oh, Eirik... It's a wonder our Kari survived at all! You disgust me!

Blod: YOU HELPED HIM! YOU MONSTER! *punches Cissé a few times and breaks down, sobbing*

Cissé: M'lady, that I did. He had already left Kari when he met me. He was a mess. I stabilised him and, once I realised Kari was here, I shepherded him here. He still has his addiction but it is under control. He's helping out a lot around camp. He's being a father to Kari again. If that makes me a monster, then so be it.

Blod embraced and kissed Cissé, still sobbing. Cissé ducked and backed away.

Cissé: You and Eirik can still reconcile. I don't want to get more involved than I already am.

He left Blod in a sobbing heap. He went to get Solveig, who consoled her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Day 129**

Knut: Here, another one. Who's having it?

Eustache: Me. I'm fed up with having my torso and beautiful face cut to ribbons by those goons!

Moira: What about me? I don't even have a weapon!

Blod: Solveig only has a knife.

Gudrun: I would take it but I have the shakes.

Knut: Not everyone at once.

Tom: Everyone, please! Moira, you can man the crossbow for now and not venture outside camp. You can be next. Eustache, you can have it. It would not do for Thormund to be hearing a bang so close to his little ears.

Eustache: Who put you in charge?

Tom: You've just one the argument. Would you rather someone else had it?

Eustache: Watch your step, boy!

They were interrupted by the gongs and Shanaw and Solveig firing the crossbows in the towers.

Eustache: Give me that!

There were ten this time. The crossbows felled two of them. They were using the cover of the trees well. Two managed to get as far as the doors to the towers but took arrows to the head the moment they got there. Tom fired three shots, two of them meeting their intended target. He was relieved that the berserkers chose to wear nothing from the midriff upwards. Eustache fired one shot, missed and had so much trouble reloading he had to drop the gun and unsheath his rapier. Blod turned into a ferocious beast. The battle was soon won but a shieldmaiden managed to get away. Kari ran after her, shooting as she went. They all met the shield. Then she saw some more minions in the trees waiting for her and thought better of pursuing.

Everyone looked very quickly to see if the gun that had been dropped was still there. It was. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief. Tom rushed to pick it up.

Tom: Sorry, Eustache. I'll show you how to reload.

Eustache: As you can appreciate, we can't hold a full Council of War now, with the enemy being only 50-100 paces away. Let's be vigilant. I suspect they were here to hit-and-run to get information and won't risk another fight this afternoon. I would not be surprised if they attack properly in the next few days, maybe even tonight. YOU HEAR THAT? WE'RE READY FOR YOU!

Knut: I will continue as fast as I can. I would appreciate Eirik's help.

Eirik: And I am happy to give it, as always.

Moira: Don't forget I'm next!

Eustache: We haven't.

Moira: Why are you nibbling at that willow bark?

Tom: I have a headache.

Moira: Were you planning on telling the women in this camp anytime soon?

Tom: Yes. It's been on the backburner for a while. Sorry. Um...Moira...can we talk about...us?

Moira: There is no 'us'. You got lucky. I needed a damn good fuck. You were average.

Tom: But I'm the only one who gets your filthy sense of humour and vice versa! Do you think you'd get a better bang from this lot?

Moira: Cissé might know a thing or two. Eustache definitely does.

Tom: That fossil and that slimeball? Cissé might know a few things but I doubt he has the stamina at his age. Eustache's veil of caring is very thin. You must know that. He only cares about the camp succeeding because there's safety in numbers.

Moira: How is that different to you?

Tom: Okay, you've got me there. But I'm starting to genuinely like people and care for their welfare. Eustache has attachment issues and can't bond with anyone. Relationships are just a game to him.

Moira: Care for their welfare like asking for threesomes?

Tom: That was a mistake. I see that now. I'm very lucky Eirik didn't kill me.

Moira: 1) Eirik's a big softy and a bloke; 2) you only appear to see it as a mistake because of the potential harm to you.

Tom: They're only interested in women and don't need a horny bloke hanging around them, let alone proposition them like that.

Moira: You need lessons in who to ask.

Tom: Will you teach me?

Moira: I like you. It's tempting. But the only other woman in this camp who might be up for it is Lady Tomoe and you are nowhere near her type. She likes strong, well-mannered, knowledgable men who are not cowards. You fulfil only two of those criteria. Even that's not all the time.

Tom: You're right. But you don't mind me flirting, right?

Moira: When I'm in the mood to flirt back, I don't mind. Don't do it all the time. It's annoying.

Tom: Sorry.

Eustache: Pssst. Eirik! Do you think Gwen would appreciate another man-visitor?

Eirik looked around frantically.

Eustache: Don't worry. Kari's exploring and Blod is cooking.

Eirik: Maybe. I'll talk to her. Can you make sure Blod and Solveig are occupied this evening?

Knut: Eirik, your mould is deforming!

Eirik: Whoops! Wouldn't Moira be safer, for both our sakes?

Eustache: She doesn't do it for me. Besides, I think my card's been marked. Not that I care.

Eirik: I'll go tonight. She's probably wondering why I haven't been in a while anyway.

Knut: Eirik.

That night, Eirik slinks out. This is noticed by Solveig. When Eirik returns, Solveig notices he isn't intoxicated.

**Day 130**

Knut: If Eirik stays with me, we can produce two guns per day and twenty rounds of ammunition. Moira, here's yours. Blod, I think you can be both quick and accurate. You have this one. Cissé, are you sure you won't have one?

Cissé: I am a pacifist. I cannot harm anyone fatally unless they want to kill me or kill my family or friends.

Knut: Have you been on a different island for the past 130 days? Björn's men want to kill us all and Björn will too, the moment we've outlived our use.

Cissé: Then give me one last.

The gongs began to ring out.

Knut: TO ARMS! TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE, YOU BASTARDS!

This time, there was a rush of 3 shieldmaidens, followed by 5 plunderers. Tom eyed each of them up. He misled each attacker coming for him and shot them where they were not expecting. Two shieldmaidens were shot in the leg while a plunderer was shot in the heart. The other 5 were cut down by the close combat weapons.

Knut: Tell us what you know and I'll make this quick for you!

Shieldmaiden: AAAAH! WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU ANYTHING?

Tom: It's either your leg or your life. As a proud Norsewoman, I'm sure you would rather your life, as my friend here would rather have forfeited.

Shieldmaiden: RRRRGGHH! Okay... we know you have small iron barrels that shoot out small balls of iron faster than arrows. We also know about your ballistatowers. NOW LET ME GO TO VALHALLA!

Tom shot her in the head.

Knut: I could have done that with my hammer.

Tom: Too much gore for my liking. I'm squeamish.

Shieldm'd'n2: What about me?

Tom: If Eustache were here, I'm sure he would have some fun with your body. I'm tempted but you're in agony enough. To Valhalla you go! *bang*

A little later...

Elof: Well hello, my little ponies! Master Björn will be very happy with all this fruit. He's been shitting bricks for a week now. Next tribute - ten of those...things...

Knut: What things?

Elof: Those...you know...weapons...

Knut: What would those be?

Elof: Don't play games with me. Björn isn't in the best of moods at the moment, as his red underpants would suggest.

Knut: His red underpants are nothing to do with us. What does he want? Arrows? Knives? Swords? Shields? Bows? Stone clubs? I don't have all day.

Elof: Fine. He said you'd be difficult. We can be too. 80 cheese! Look after your sheep, my little ponies! Wouldn't it be a shame if any perished before tribute day? Ta-ta.

Knut: IF THAT WAS A THREAT WORTHY OF LOKI TO KILL OUR SHEEP, I SWEAR-

Tom: Knut, it's not worth it! Let's just keep them under continuous observation.

That night...

Eustache: I think we'll all need willow bark before long.

Knut: First thing's first. We can't refer to our new weapons by any name, lest we must hand them over as tribute.

Eustache: Second, I want everyone armed as quickly as possible, perhaps with the notable exceptions of Gudrun and Solveig. Solveig, how would you like to learn how to use a bow?

Solveig: This is really inconvenient because Thormund can escape so quickly these days, but I guess I have no choice. I have my knife for close combat.

Tomoe: Third, I'll set traps around the pens so the thugs will be thwarted or at the very least slowed if they get too close. I need whoever is in the nearest tower to keep an eye out for enemies.

Moira: We also need more yellow stuff and more white stuff. I'm running out of ingredients. Can't make more black stuff without it.

Outside, there was the sound of a bowstring twanging and then a victim choking with agony. Everyone went silent. Which side? How many?

Kari: Don't worry! Just one!

Everyone sighed with relief.

Eustache: We'll fill up with as much as we can tomorrow morning.

Knut: We're also low on iron. I would mine some myself but I'm swamped at the moment.

Eustache: We'll get some ore in the afternoon. You, Eirik and Lady Tomoe are needed here. Does anyone have anything to add?

Tom: I'll get started on the awnings for the workshop and the forge tomorrow. I'm sure the craftsmen will appreciate it.

Knut: Thank you, Tom.

Eustache: Anything else? No? To bed, I think!

Outside, Eirik and Cissé were manning the towers.

Eirik: I don't know what to do. I confronted Eustache this afternoon about his deceit and coveting my wife and he just laughed in my face and told me I had no chance getting back in her good books now. How do I stop him? How do I convince Blod I'm not seeing Gwen anymore?

Cissé: Violence is not the answer. Blod will come around. She'll see you're no longer going out to meet Gwen and she'll start questioning the version of events she believes.

Eirik: Not before Eustache has his wicked way with her, I'm sure. She's vulnerable right now.

A figure in shadow between them and the shelter went back in the shelter.

Eirik: Shit, shit, shit! Who was that!?

Cissé: I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, man. It'll be someone who will either help or hinder your cause. Think about it. If it's Blod, she will now be seeking the counsel of Solveig and/or her sister. If it's Eustache, he will press his advantage. If it's anyone else, they might try to help. Well, I say that, Tom is rather unpredictable and torn between doing the right thing and what his loins tell him.

Eirik: You're right, but I can't help worrying. This is not a happy camp. We don't need this. You're right about Tom, too. Whenever I think I'm beginning to understand Tom, he throws me completely. I hope he concentrates more on technologies than annoying the women and Eustache.


	12. Chapter 12

**Day 131**

Eustache and the girls meet Yaghoub in the forest unexpectedly.

Yaghoub: You! Did you find that pretty sheep handler you were looking for?

Eustache: We've taken care of those requirements. Now we are looking for an able fighter who can either gather resources or process them.

Yaghoub: Look no further! I'm quick with my weapon and have an eye for quality. As a merchant, I am motivated by making a profit. If that means finding hidden gems or making them myself, then that makes the sale all the more rewarding. If you allow me to join your camp, it will glisten in the sun. If you need a negotiator, I am also your man.

Eustache: Don't get ahead of yourself, Bucko. Your silver tongue is more than matched by my own. We will give you a while to prove yourself.

Yaghoub: You will not regret your decision, Effendi.

Eustache: I hope not. You can start by gathering some of the bat droppings in that cave. We use it to fertilise our crops and make ammo for our weapons. You'll be needing this shovel and this sack.

When they all arrive back at camp...

Tom: Pleasure to meet you, Yaghoub! Are you Persian, Mesopotamian, Parthian, Assyrian, Babylonian, Hittite, Phoenician, Sumerian, Arabian or Atlantean? Did you know that you look like a guy featured on lots of megalithic structures around the world? Have you heard of Gobekli Tepe? Graham Hancock would have loved to have met you! Where's your man-bag?

Yaghoub: MY WHAT!? WHO IS GRAHAM HANCOCK!? WHAT IS THIS!? ARE YOU PEOPLE INTENT ON BEING WEIRD AND ANNOYING!?

Tom: Sorry, I get carried away sometimes. I'm from the future, about 1,450 years after Muhammad Akhir or the Age of Aquarius. The other people here are from about 500 years after Muhammad or the Age of Pisces. Graham Hancock is from my original time and studies what we consider to be prehistoric civilisations, so the time of the Sumerian Empire or Age of Leo and before. Wait...we're normally annoying and weird to you?

Yaghoub: Yes. Eustache and Eirik asked me a load of odd and insulting questions when we first met. They were looking for a hire to replace a gorgeous sheep handler who used to dance for them.

Tom: We've recently gained two women and there are enough people now who can look after the sheep. That's quite amusing how they asked you if you fit their criteria at the time. Heheh. So, when and where do you come from?

Yaghoub: I was born 550 years after Muhammad Akhir in Persia, a land southeast of Anatolia and the Caucasus. Where are you from?

Tom: I'm from Guernsey, a small island with the Atlantic Ocean to our west, Britain to our north and France to our east and south.

Yaghoub: I've not heard of these places.

Tom: I'm not surprised. Sail to the Pillars of Hercules, head north for about two weeks, hugging the European coastline and you will find an archipelago. My island is the westmost island.

Yaghoub: Are you the only one from there?

Tom: That island, yes. Blod and Moira come from Wales, a state in West Britain. Eustache is from France, further up the coast than Guernsey, about 2-3 weeks sailing from where the Norse people are from.

Yaghoub: I see...I think. Could you draw a map?

Tom: It would be my pleasure.

Eustache: Knut, Eirik - when you've finished your current task, we need a thick, high wooden fence to be built around our settlement, to include the ballistatowers but for the towers to poke outward. After that, we need a low wall inside and a thick high wall to go flush with the towers. Pebbledash and cement are fine. Use Tom and Cissé as you need and see fit. Meanwhile, I'll continue exploring with the girls and bring back other things we need. Ladies, could you please show Yaghoub around the harvesting duties? If you don't have enough for him to help you with, he can help Knut and Eirik. We need more rope and fabric. It wouldn't hurt to teach him carpentry or masonry, either.

Kari: What do you see in him, anyway?

Moira: I didn't think you wanted to know about the birds and the bees...

Kari: Ewww! Point taken. Don't answer. Why is everyone so sex-obsessed around here?

Moira: Because that's how babies are made and the human race-

Kari: Lalalala! Not listening!

Moira: You did ask.

Kari: Fuck. My. Whole. Lame. Life...

Moira: That's the spirit!

Kari: Muuum! Aunt Moira's being chunder-worthy again...

**Day 132**

Eustache: Blod, can you help me gather water and sulphur this morning?

Blod: What about the berries and herbs?

Eustache: Yaghoub can help with that.

Knut: Eustache, we need Yaghoub for the wall building.

Eustache: In that case, Gudrun and Cissé can cope on their own. Moira has distilling to do.

Once they had left the camp...

Eirik: See, he's already sneaking her off for his mischief. Part of me wants to challenge him now. Part of me realises that will push them closer together.

Cissé: It is good that you see that. Be patient. You can only save your marriage by waiting now.

Eirik: I don't like it. Someone is climbing into my wife's bed and I can't do a thing about it! It makes my blood boil!

Cissé: Come on. Let's channel all this energy into building up this wall.

Later that morning...

Gudrun: No! The only things I have would sedate him or confuse him. And before you ask, we need her to make this decision on her own.

In the evening...

Tom: Gudrun! Thank fuck. I think I'm going down with a fever.

Gudrun: Yes. Your forehead is hot and you're sweating and trembling. I have something.

Tom: Will it taste disgusting?

Gudrun: Of course! Why would it work if it didn't?

Tom: Ah. I think I know what you're going to give me. In my time, we mix it with sugar water and fruit juice.

Gudrun: Very well, if you futuretons know best. I can no longer guarantee it will work. Use at your own risk! Let me know when your throat has swollen up. I'll sort you out with honey and herbs.

Tom: Thanks, Gudrun. Will do. Can you tell Eustache for me I'm unlikely to be up to much tomorrow?

Gudrun: Yes. I'm not that sadistic.


	13. Chapter 13

**Day 133**

Eustache has taken Blod to her old cave and has pinched her arse playfully.

Blod: That was inappropriate. How dare you!

Eustache: Come on! You can't deny the feelings we have. I look after you. Eirik cheats on you, does drugs and abandoned your daughter. He does not deserve you.

Blod: I won't deny that our time together has been fun, but I'm no fool. You're taking advantage of me when I'm at my most vulnerable. Eirik has hurt me but I am starting to believe he really has changed for the better. Not only that, Knut told me about when you engineered Eirik going off to that monster woman to ask about his chances.

Eustache: You can't be sure he didn't get his leg over during that trip.

Blod: Solveig told me when he came back, he didn't look beaten up or stink of sweat and funk like he usually did. Of everyone in this camp, it's Solveig I trust the most.

Eustache: That still leaves his drug abuse and neglect of Kari.

Blod: You're not listening. You've connived your way to taking advantage of me and I still love my husband. Now move so I can get back to camp.

Eustache: You're not going anywhere, my pretty. You'll thank me later.

He grabbed her clothes and gave a tug.

Blod: LET ME GO!

Her clothes ripped. She thrust her shield into Eustache's head. He still tried to gain some purchase. She whacked him again. Then she ran, inner legs flashing and one of her boobs hanging out. It had started raining.

She came too close to some thugs.

Thug: Lookee here, mates! Hot wench for lunch! Nice of you to get us warmed up, love!

There were dirty chuckles and bays of sexual delight from the leering men. They surrounded her and closed in slowly. They were ugly, drooling, stinky and had no thought for her welfare.

Blod: EIRIK! HELP!

Back at camp...

Eirik: Did you hear that?

Knut: Yes. TO AAARRRRMMMMS!

The rescue party got there just in time. Blod had managed to fell three but she was having her axe and shield pulled off her by the thugs. The rescuers smashed them to bits and Eirik carried Blod back to camp.

In the evening, Eustache makes it back to the shelter. He had quite a lot of dried blood on him and two huge bumps on the top of his head. Eirik smiled.

Eirik: Ha! Saves me a job!

Eustache: That's the problem, coward.

Eirik: You really want to try that, after today? A load of thugs tried to rape her because of the clothes you tore. Thankfully we were in earshot. We dealt with them and I carried her home. I really ought to thank you, in a way. You wanted to drive us further apart. What you ended up doing was bring us back together. For that reason, I won't kill you. But if you go for my wife again, I won't hesitate.

Eustache: *gulps and groggily makes his way to bed*

**Day 134**

Now that their leader had been disgraced, nobody really knew who was in charge but each had their micro teams, with their managers and advisors. Everyone knew that it had been quiet on the invasion front of late. Too quiet. The builders made sure they could man the towers quickly if need be. Gatherers took defensive weapons with them. Next time, it could be that gatherers get attacked to draw fighters away from camp so that the camp could receive a more vicious assault unimpeded.

Kari and Shanaw went about their exploring and hunting with caution.

Shanaw: Shanaw scared, Kari.

Kari: Normally I wouldn't be, but I know what you mean.

Shanaw: What if camp cubs get kidnapped by the enemy?

Kari: It doesn't bear thinking about. We must be very, very, VERY careful.

The wall was coming on quite well by lunchtime.

Elof: Good day to you, m'dears! Do you have what Uncle Elof needs?

The tribute due was paid.

Elof: Good. What's this you have here, my duckies? Are you building sandcastles? Can I join in?

Knut: No. What does Björn want for next week?

Elof: Such a killjoy. He's not too happy about these fortifications of yours, as you can imagine. You can either dismantle them or pay him 200 stone.

Knut: We can just about mine 100 stone in a week! Does your master not know this?

Elof: I think he has some idea. But it's your problem. Your choice. B'bye, my little prairie dogs!

Once Elof was gone...

Tom: *croaking due to sore throat* We can use black powder to split rock and gain access to more. We need some rope and a glowing ember, though, otherwise we'll be blown up as well. If we do it in the wet (which I do not recommend), we need to soak the rope in beer, otherwise it won't light.

Knut: Sounds like a plan. We need to get started. Tom, ask Moira for the materials and bring them to me. Eirik and I will go this afternoon.

Yaghoub: Do I get to go? All I've done since I've arrived is gather bat poop and build walls.

Knut: You can go with me tomorrow. TOM! Stay there. I need a word.

Tom: What's up, Knut?

Knut: Eustache told me he doesn't trust Yaghoub as far as he can throw him. That's why he hasn't done anything yet that requires trust.

Tom: I think he can be good fun and useful, but I agree, he's shifty and gets caught up about all things shiny.

Knut: Eustache needs to get back in everyone's favour. He can do that by catching Yaghoub in the act of thievery or defection. See if you can persuade him to come out with the girls tomorrow morning and follow us. Between him and the girls, we can catch him, no matter which direction or how light on his feet he is.

Tom: Understood. You can count on me. Here's the stuff.

Moira: I don't have much black powder left. Eustache and Blod didn't come back with any sulphur two days ago. The conniving cunt. If he was horny, he should have said.

That afternoon, Lady Tomoe was minding the sheep and Solveig was harvesting wheat.

Tomoe: Personally, I think all men are arseholes who treat women like property, sex objects and domestic servants. Toxic masculinity runs through their veins.

Solveig: I'll have to disagree with you there. Knut used to act entitled and like I was his personal slave for everything but he's changed. Eirik never gives Blod any of that grief. Cissé has to be the least threatening and masculine man I know. We don't know enough about Tom and Yaghoub yet.

Tomoe: Points taken. So, what do you think of them so far?

Solveig: I think Tom has a good heart and tries his best to be a nice young man but his incomplete understanding of others is a hinderance to him, as is his man-blood. I don't think he realises how much he stares or that people do notice it but ignore it. Yaghoub... I find him a slippery merchant motivated by wealth and prestige. His silver-tongued nonsense fools nobody.

Tomoe: I couldn't agree with you more. I think Tom is very lost here. He's clearly not done any of the work here before. I think he must have been a civil administrator or something before he came. With Yaghoub, I get that he's hiding something, this... burning desire of some kind, some other purpose. I don't know if it's revenge or something else.

Solveig: Do you think...he knew Parvaneh?

Tomoe: I doubt it. They are as likely to have known each other as you were to have known Eirik. It's not impossible, though.

In the healing tent...

Eustache: I honestly thought she was the one. I had to have her.

Gudrun: You went charging in too quickly! Slowly, SLOWLY catch your monkey. But no matter. She won't even look at you now. You blew it.

Eustache: Don't I know it! What do I do now, Gudrun?

Gudrun: Moira looks like she can't get enough cocks in her pussy. Have you tried her?

Eustache: She scares me a little and...isn't exactly my type...

Gudrun: Oh, well, that's too bad. I do still have some of that brown potion to keep your sexual thoughts in check...

Eustache: Argh! I guess I have little choice at the moment.

Tom: Gudrun *coughs and looks terrible*, do you have any of that honey and mint mixture you spoke about?

Eustache: What happened to you?

Tom: Fever (now gone), swollen throat, cold and cough.

Eustache: Just you cough and sneeze away from me, please.

Tom: *cough* Yes, boss. *clutches chest, like balloons are popping in there*

Eustache: And if that's everything, can you leave me be?

Tom: Actually, it isn't. Knut sent me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Day 135**

Knut: Careful. There's not much room for turning down here.

Yaghoub: Understood.

Eustache: They just went down there.

Kari: You realise we'll look very silly if he doesn't make a run for it, don't you?

Eustache: It's a risk we have to take. We can't afford any more defectors of any kind, even those wishing to bargain our freedom. He knows too much. If they torture him, he could tell them about how to make-

Kari: Shhh! How stupid are you? If he has decided to do as you are suggesting, then there might be men lying in wait nearby.

Eustache: He didn't know where he was going, so he would have had to leave a deliberate trail. I'll look for it and see if we can move it. Kari, check the foliage up ahead. Shanaw, stay here and lie low.

A few minutes later, they regrouped.

Kari: Nobody up ahead. Not yet, anyway.

Eustache: That's a relief. I found his trail - rope fibres. I've relaid a trail away from here. Shanaw, any sign of action from our mine?

Shanaw: No.

They heard panting. Then Yaghoub poked his head out. Once he thought the coast was clear, he got out, pickaxe and sack in hand. Then he found himself surrounded.

Kari: Going somewhere?

When they returned to camp, they gathered everyone round and emptied Yaghoub's sack.

Moira: You know that's not real gold, right?

Yaghoub: Yes, but Björn's men don't know that!

Moira: On an island like this, doing what we're doing, that is more precious than gold. That is pyrite, a mixture of iron and sulphur. It can be used in our guns instead of sulphur.

Yaghoub: Oh.

Eustache: We can't afford any more defectors, even ones playing the merchant hero trying to bargain our freedom. We have already had our fair share of information fall into enemy hands. They paid for it with their lives.

Yaghoub: *gulps with fear* Effendi, I meant no harm! I thought they might lower the tribute if we gave them riches.

Eustache: Have you not heard the term useful idiot?

Yaghoub: No.

Eustache: They would have, at best, had a little laugh at your expense and let you come back to camp. At worst, they would have tortured you for information or demanded extra tribute to incorporate what you could give them. These are not nice people, Yaghoub.

Yaghoub: *splutters* Look, I'm sorry, okay?

Eustache: Tom, tell him the story you told me.

Tom: There is a tale where I come from of dwarves going to reclaim their homeland from a dragon. They achieve this, but the neighboring peoples asked for what the dragon stole from them. The dwarf king would hear none of it. In their mountain fortress, the dwarves prepared for war. In the middle of the night, a hobbit whom the dwarves had learned to trust, snuck out with enough gold to pay each of the neighbouring factions. In the morning, the dwarves learned of the hobbit's treachery and cursed him. They vowed the battle should still take place because they wanted their gold back. The neighboring factions were preparing to return to their homelands when a new threat appeared to wipe them all out. The original armies all fought on the same side in the Battle of the Five Armies and eventually beat the more powerful aggressor. The old dwarf king was dying and, on his deathbed, forgave the hobbit and wished he had been more like him, putting more value in good food, cheer and friends than material wealth.

Yaghoub: I believe I have just been vindicated.

Eustache: Not quite. All the neighboring factions in the story wanted was what already belonged to them - a small amount of wealth. Above all, they were good people. Björn is not a good person in any shape or form. He will not stop until he dies, inflicting pain, hardship and misery for his own pleasure. Trying to bargain with such a man is a futile exercise that will only lead to more trouble.

Yaghoub: Okay, I see that now. Can we stop all this?

Eustache: Here are our terms - 1) you may not be privy to our tehnologies or war plans and 2) that you do not handle anything of any perceived high material value.

Yaghoub: WHAT!?

Eustache: You abused our trust, Yaghoub. You have to work hard to earn it back.

Yaghoub: After what you've done recently? I will not take lectures from a raping wife stealer!

Eustache: If you think I'm not fit to be leader, call a vote of no confidence!

Yaghoub: You lot, who has confidence in Eustache as leader?

Gradually, all hands went up except Eirik's, Blod's and Kari's. Reluctantly, Eirik and Kari stuck their hands up as well.

Yaghoub: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

Eustache: I think you have your answer. Question my authority again and there may be a physical punishment! Now beat it!

Eirik: Knut, I'm happy to go mining stone with Kari this afternoon if you want to rest that shoulder.

Knut: Thanks, Eirik. Much appreciated.

Tom: Moira, I can come with you to collect guano this afternoon if you want.

Moira: No! You can't be stealthy with that cough!

Tom: Sorry.

Eustache: I'm sure Yaghoub would be willing to go with you.

An exasperated and sulky Yaghoub repeated the line mockingly.

Moira: Coming? I can leave you here with Cissé's stories if you'd prefer.

Yaghoub: All right, I'll go. African tales are all rip-off versions of those from Persia and Arabia anyway!

While out exploring that afternoon, Shanaw notices something alarming. Thankfully, it does not pose a problem...today. But she must tell someone. Oh, she's rubbish at things like this. What are those things called, anyway?

Solveig and Blod were out gathering hemp.

Blod: Why did you vote to keep that rapist in as leader?

Solveig: Because, while he has his weaknesses and only pretends to care about others, he is an average leader with skills in organisation and strategy. Besides, who else actually wants to be leader?

Blod: Doesn't Knut want to be leader?

Solveig: He is happy leading part of it, not the whole thing.

Blod: It's a shame Eirik doesn't want to be leader.

Solveig: I agree. He would be a better leader than Eustache. So would you be, eventually.

Blod: Eventually is correct. I don't have a good handle on everything yet.

Solveig: I wouldn't rule Moira out, either. She's very shrewd and-

Blod: Okay, enough already!

Solveig: Blod, do you see that?

Blod: Where? Oh! But why did it do that? Where is it going? Ohh.

Solveig: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Blod: Which part? I had four different thoughts there!

Solveig: I can match your four and raise you two!

Blod: Two more? Do tell!

That evening...

Kari: You should really tell everyone what you saw!

Shanaw: But...Shanaw not know the name of the thing. Nobody believe Shanaw, either.

Kari: What did it look like?

Eustache: I really need a gavel! Orderrr! Council of War! Kari, please take your position outside! Take Yaghoub with you!

Yaghoub: This is unneccessary, you know. I won't tell a soul.

Eirik: Here, take my coat.

Yaghoub: Aren't you afraid I might run off with it?

Eirik: On second thought, I'm sure you'll be fine without it.

Yaghoub: Fuck. You.

Kari: Come on!

**Day 138**

Shanaw: Another! Another!

Eustache: Yes. Where's this one going?

Kari: Not near our camp. Oh, look! I think it's damaged. Haha!

Eustache: You're...right! Haha! But seriously, we have work to do if we want to stop one of those beasties if one comes to pay us a visit. Let's find some trees.


	15. Chapter 15

**Day 140**

The camp's sleep it cut short by the bang of a gong.

Eirik: Kari, where are they coming from?

Kari: There is a small group in the bushes there. I think Elof is among them. I can smell him. The main threat is out there!

Eirik: Come with me, then. Tom can take your place.

Coughing up a lot of phlegm very violently, Tom shoved some clothes on and made his way to the tower that Kari was leaving.

Tom: Shanaw, please be ready to fire because I might miss opportunities due to coughing.

Shanaw: Future man must try.

Tom: Sorry, you're right. I must.

Shanaw: Or Shanaw will kick his poorly butt!

Tom: *gulps* *coughs feebly*

Over on the other side of camp, Kari, Eirik and Eustache were unleashing fire arrows upon their foe. They met their mark.

You see, Björn had sent a ship to attack them from the other side, hoping to surprise them and lay waste to their camp, quashing the rebellion. Little did he realise that his unsuccessful runs by sea had been spotted. Now the camp were as prepared as they could be. Long stakes had been put into the seabed in the shallows to block passage and shorter, sharpened stakes at a diagonal along the shoreline to butcher waders if they came at night. Vollies of fire arrows were lighting up the sails like a Christmas Tree, spreading to the mast and the deck. It wasn't long before the vessel ran into the long stakes and the crew jumped out in panic. Some got butchered as they walked into the savagely sharp points of the shoreline stakes. Unable to see the defenders, they were picked off by arrows with no retaliation possible.

Unfortunately, one had managed to miss the shoreline stakes and was advancing, a large shield protecting him from airbourne arrows. He was a big bastard. Hang on...what was that in his belt? It was the famous double axe. This was Björn himself.

He made his way up to the camp and stopped. Eustache went up to greet him. Others had weapons at the ready in case Björn lashed out.

Eustache: The front door is over there, Björn. I suggest you use it.

Björn: I don't take orders from you, inferior lout.

Eustache: I must say, we are surprised to see you. You usually let your minions do your dirty work for you.

Björn: If I had not come, all my ships would have headed for the horizon and not come back!

Eustache: Fear is a blessing and a curse, isn't it? Don't expect us to have any sympathy for you.

Björn: I could smash your skull in right here and now.

Eustache: But we both know you won't because you have several weapons aimed at you that could kill you.

Björn: Do your pathetic little band want to challenge me for my dominion? Hahahaha.

Eustache: Don't tempt us. We need not be a threat to you. Just leave us alone.

Björn: No. This island you are living on is my land. Your lives belong to me in serfdom.

Eustache: The Blues would dispute that claim.

Björn: Those...those...THOSE MONTROSITIES! DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM!

Björn's eye began twitching.

Eustache: Back to the matter at hand. We will pay you 100 stone on tribute day and you will accept it as the full amount due. Any further attack on our camp and the tribute currently due then is forfeit. We are not your puppets or punchbags anymore.

Björn roared with indignation.

Björn: I accept your terms...for now! This isn't over! Watch your backs! All of you! Yaghoub, ask your new friends what happened to Parvaneh. Eirik, Gwen and Njáll say hi.

With that, he made his way out of the camp. When he came level with one of the towers, he struck it with all the force he could muster from his axe. He trembled all over from the vibrations and fell backwards.

Shanaw: You like our towers, bogey man?

Tom: Björn, I'm feeling generous. Would you like some of my cold? *hawks and spits*

Björn roared again, picked himself up and left. Everyone then heard the sounds of Elof and company moving away with him. There was a distinct fart and several groans.

Eirik: Are you okay, my love?

Blod: Yes. I don't understand why you did it but I do understand that they are in your past, not your present.

Yaghoub: Will anyone tell me about Parvaneh? What did he mean? Anyone? DON'T YOU ALL FUCK OFF TO BED WITHOUT TELLING ME!

Knut: It's late. You can ask us tomorrow morning. Now it's your shift in the tower, like we agreed. Maybe you could ask Eirik, who is in the other tower.

Yaghoub: Fine.

Yaghoub: So Eirik, what happened to Parvaneh?

Eirik: We recruited her from an enemy camp. We thought we were rescuing her. Little did we know that she was passing lots of information to the enemy. It nearly killed us all. She drastically depleted supplies too.

Yaghoub: Okay, so what happened?

Eirik: We expelled her, but she came back to eavesdrop on our council meetings. Kari killed her.

Yaghoub: Wha-?

Eirik: That's not all. She came back a few days later to do the exact same thing.

Yaghoub: I thought you said your Kari killed her?

Eirik: It would appear there are forces on this island we do not understand.

Yaghoub: Hmm. This is a lot to take in. Is Parvaneh dead or not?

Eirik: We hope so. The second time we killed her, we threw her corpse off a cliff.

Yaghoub: Extreme.

Eirik: We didn't want her to keep coming back every night with the intention of passing on information that could get us killed.

Yaghoub: I understand. But still. Parvaneh was a passenger on my ship for ten years before we were shipwrecked here. We woke up in different places on the island I assume, which would explain why I'm only hearing now that she survived the shipwreck.

Eirik: I see. It won't surprise you then that she barely lifted a finger to help in camp. She spent most of the time winding up the other women and looking after her nails.

Yaghoub: That sounds like Parvaneh. I'm sorry you had to put up with her.

Eirik: She was pretty. I'm sorry to say that was her only redeeming feature.

**Day 141**

Next morning, Shanaw and Kari slept in. Yaghoub was rotated out of tower duty and into forging rope. Cissé was with him.

Yaghoub: I got the feeling he was holding things back. Why else would Björn say that to me without there being a reason for us to fall out?

Cissé: There's quite a bit he didn't tell you. Parvaneh was pole-dancing when we found her, so Eustache got him to do the same for us. It was the only thing she did that did us any good. She was too interested in bathing whenever she was sent to fetch water. She also had the hots for Eirik, which he did not return. When tricking her into admitting to stealing supplies and passing on information, she was happy for Eirik to go in her place one moment, wanting him to run away with her the next. I think he feels very conflicted about her. For the rest, I suggest you ask someone else.

On exploration/logging duty that afternoon...

Yaghoub: So, what can you two tell me about Parvaneh's life here and her expulsion from camp?

Shanaw: Nasty girl, deserved everything she got! Did no work. Made us feel bad about ourselves.

Kari: A ewe died because she didn't look after it properly. We couldn't take her exploring because we thought she was a kidnap risk. She was so beautiful and delicate. She'd scream if she broke a nail. If it came to battle, she would expect everyone else to save her arse. Teamwork was something she knew nothing about. I did feel sorry for her, though. A bit.

Yaghoub: Why?

Kari: Eustache kept her as his unwilling mistress. I've never felt comfortable around him, he actually used to touch Shanaw and what he did to Mum was unforgivable, but what he did to Parvaneh, it was on a completely different level. The thought of having to put up with that pig doing stuff to me...*bends double and pukes*

Shanaw: Then, when she got kicked out of camp, Eustache made her...take all her clothes off and dance one last time for the men in camp. Parvaneh frightened. Then she ran away. I think other men met her...with no clothes on...

Kari: At the time, we thought the humiliation was well deserved. She had been a complete failure as a camp member and to top it all, she had been sneaking goods and information out to the enemy. We could have been killed. And she was perfectly happy for my dad to get the wrap for it all. I look back at it now...all I see is a brutal example of how Eustache treats women.

Yaghoub: Why did you vote for him when I tried to get rid of him as leader?

Kari: I feel Dad would make a better leader, or Knut, but they don't want to. Eustache is a pretty average leader with good strategy and organisational skills. The only reason he is here with us is because he wants his sorry arse protected. He doesn't actually care about any of us. I put up with him because he can be useful and he does unite the tribe. If there were an alternative, I would take it.

Yaghoub: Thank you, both of you. You've been very helpful.

Later...

Yaghoub: Gudrun, do you have anything to prevent murderous urges?

Gudrun: Learn what good there is in the person, learn what bad consequences there could be if you end them...

Yaghoub: Never mind. Do you have anything to change men who treat women badly?

Gudrun: Oh. Yes, I've been giving him something to keep his libido down. He doesn't always take it. Whenever he does something especially bad or he gets threatened, I give him some more.

Yaghoub: Does he ever show any remorse?

Gudrun: No. He is completely self-centered. Well, he does show remorse of sorts. He came to me for advice when he couldn't get hard for Parvaneh. It was his body's way of telling him he was doing something wrong. Then when Blod rejected him, he was very upset. He thought he'd found the woman of his dreams, bless him.

Yaghoub: Why do you favour him so much?

Gudrun: Because he is a very attractive man. So is Knut. Both are very capable rulers and serve this camp well with their skills. Eustache has always treated me with the respect I have required of him. Knut took a bit of work but we got there in the end.

Yaghoub: What would you say about a change of leadership, say, to Eirik or Blod?

Gudrun: Too much power in the hands of one family. The rest of us would be made second-class citizens overnight. That's not something I would like to see. Besides, Blod is very patronising towards me and Kari is still a brat at times.

Yaghoub: Me?

Gudrun: Heheheheheh. You do not have the skills required and you have recently been reprimanded for wanting to appease the enemy without consulting anyone, haven't you?

Yaghoub: Moira?

Gudrun: She's wise enough and has leadership qualities, to be sure. If we were in a peaceful community with no external threats of the warfare variety, she could share power with Cissé, but we're at war. We need a leader who has a good strategic mind.

Yaghoub: Kari?

Gudrun: Heheheheheheheheh. Her tactical mind is growing, but she can still make bad decisions. She could rule with an iron fist like Björn does, but that's many years away. She doesn't have the other qualities normally sought in a leader.

Yaghoub: Solveig?

Gudrun: Again, no tactical mind and no leadership skills. She rules from the back, not the front, same as Cissé and I do.

Yahhoub: Lady Tomoe?

Gudrun: I think she lacks leadership qualities. Besides, if she had her way, we would all be dead now because she would have led a full-on charge on Björn's camp the first moment she had.

Yaghoub: Tom?

Gudrun: He shows glimmers of leadership qualities and a tactical mind but I don't think he can get anyone to rally around him, unfortunately. Best suggestion you've made so far, though. There you have it. I would only support Eustache or Knut as leader while we are at war.

Also that evening...

Tom: Eustache, could I have a word?

Eustache: Ech...what now?

Tom: The terms you struck with Björn last night were a stroke of genius. However, not wanting others in his dominion to rebel like we have, he will be plotting to see how he can get around your gamechanging rules. I've worked out how he will do so.

Eustache: Go on.

Tom: You may have ensured we will no longer have small raiding parties attack our settlement, however nothing was said about encounters in the rest of the island. Away from our defensive structures, we are vulnerable, even with our new handheld weapons. There are instances in my time period where warlords do not claim responsibility for operations only they could pull off and they get away with it because no other power on the world stage will risk war. Also, in some deprived areas, gangs hang around abandoned mines where desperate men risk their lives, only to be mugged for their hard-earned gold ore and diamonds at the surface. I would not be surprised if others on this island try that with us, whether under the instruction of Björn or not. I would also not be surprised if Björn starts instructing kidnaps of our foragers. These could have high ransoms, such as extra tributes and/or terms (or even rollback of the terms you have already laid out). Basically, we are a no longer a vassal, we are a credible threat to be kept in check. His strategy will play out on that basis until 1) he has the upper hand again and 2) you personally have paid for the humiliation you brought to him last night. After he's had his fun in the woods to soften us up, he would send twoscore men into our camp to rip it to pieces and kill every last man. to make an example to the other groups on the island.

Eustache: So, what do you suggest we do? Never leave the camp? Take most of our forces with us every time we need to leave camp?

Tom: We should either forge alliances with neighbouring groups and/or we expand our territory until we can feel safe. We should also domesticate a lot more of what we forage, so we don't need to leave camp as often. Our biggest problems will be foraging and mining. As you probably know, we can replenish trees but they cannot regrow at the rate we chop them down. We can prune trees of their branches so they can grow again.

Eustache: What you are suggesting simply isn't in the scale we are used to. We will need a lot more towers, for a start. For another, we will need diplomacy skills. You and I both know we do not have those.

Tom: I'm sure Eirik could convince most who are convinceable. Some may require the personalities or knowledge of Knut, Cissé, Moira or Blod but these won't be many. There is always subjugation, although that policy will split our own group.

Eustache: You haven't just depressed me this time, you've given me a headache I fear will not leave me anytime soon! Bring me Erik, Cissé and Knut. I can't put any of what you have suggested into practice without their agreement and help.

Later that night...

Eustache: Everyone, I know it's late, but this cannot wait. I have inadvertently made it very dangerous for us to go mining, logging, fishing, hunting and foraging. Following Tom's suggestion, we will extend our territory and enter treaties..err, I mean friendly arrangements with sympathetic neighbouring groups. Eirik and Cissé have identified three such groups who may wish to ally with us. If they are successful, we will report back here with the new arrangements. For now, please only leave the camp to explore (cautiously) and to enter diplomatic talks with other groups. Goodnight!


	16. Chapter 16

**Day 142**

Eustache: Before we get started on afternoon jobs, I am pleased to announce we have made some progress. The groups led by Olaf and Granni have agreed to mine and forage for us, but at a (what I think is a small) price. If we gather wood for them, pass on what we know of the island and provide them with produce from our fields and garden pens, they are happy to trade what we need. In order to enter into these agreements, they make themselves targets for retribution from Björn, so we will teach them how to build concrete ballistatowers with gongs. If they call for aid, we must leave a small guard here and help them. They will do the same for us. So, the result of these negotiations is that we do not need to forage anymore. We might still need to work something out for sulphur and saltpetre. We'll see. We will need to bring home a lot more wood so that we can keep three camps going. We have been building up a surplus of cheese for some time now, so this won't be a problem. Logging teams will have a count of four in order to counter any threat, guns in our belts, should they be necessary.

That afternoon...

Eirik: It's a pity Leif was too scared to help us right now.

Cissé: It's not the end of the world. Once we have protection for the fields, I think they will be willing to work them for us. What I'm worried about is Harald. Did you see how twitchy he was? That's a man who does not like to see men more formidable than he on his doorstep.

Eirik: True. Olaf and Granni may have an initial backlash from Björn but it's Harald who will keep us busy. Don't forget he has a friend in Ingrid. She's like a deadly combination of Moira and Kari. We might be able to get her on-side...eventually, with Moira's and Kari's help. We need to keep Eustache and Tom away from her.

Cissé: Keeping Tom away from Ingrid shouldn't be a problem. He goes for looks primarily but combative women scare him. Eustache might prove more of a problem, unless I can make his potion taste better.

In the evening...

Tom: Are people still relieving themselves outside of camp?

Everyone fell silent and glared at him.

Solveig: Do you want our camp to stink and for us to fall ill due to poor sanitation?

Tom: I have a solution that will both keep our camp relatively pong-free that will not put our lives in danger every time we squat.

There were mutterings of speculation as to how wild and how doable this plan would be.

Eustache: Go on.

Tom: We dig holes and put wooden structures around them with a door to each hole. Each hole is to be on a raised platform so that we can sit down like we would on a stool or bench. We should keep straw so that we can re-line the seat every time it is used. To clean ourselves once we are done, we can have a stack of large leaves just like we use in the forest. When we fill a hole up to ground level, we fill the rest in using the platform and create another structure elsewhere. These structures in my culture are called toilets.

Knut: How do we know there isn't a foe hiding in one of these toilets?

Tom: We cut a hole at face level (both at standing and sitting) and put glass in these holes so that the camp doesn't suffocate under the fumes.

Solveig: How do we stop someone coming in while we are using it?

Tom: The door is to open inward and there will be a large stone inside to keep the door shut.

Blod: How do we stop certain Peeping Toms from spying on us through the faceholes?

Tom: We won't be flashing anything while we're sitting down and we will be too close to the door when we are wiping ourselves afterwards for this to be an issue. Plus, there will be a high concentration of smell in there that will hopefully put anyone off wanting to lurk! If you want to guard yourself against Peeping Toms, I suggest you never bathe or change your clothes. Don't worry, you were not too subtle. If you have any concerns about my behaviour, I urge you to approach me privately.

Later...

Blod: I saw you glancing over at my body while you were fucking my sister. You will also recall the times I told you to fuck off while I was changing clothes or bathing. You bet I have a problem with your behaviour, mister!

Tom: I guess you could try being less hot...

Blod: *slaps Tom across the face* Not flattering or funny! I daresay there's more than a hint of entitlement in that remark!

Tom: Ow! Sorry, a badly misjudged joke to defuse the situation...

Blod: I'm waiting!

Tom: For what?

Blod: For you to apologise for being so invasive with your eyes and promise to leave promptly the moment you realise I'm indecent or am about to be!

Tom: I'm sorry for making you feel how you do. I don't wish that on anyone. However, asking me to walk away every time I have the (albeit undeserved) opportunity to remind myself how gorgeous you are goes against my own biochemical will.

Blod: Not flattening you every time you piss me off requires a lot of self-control too. You must try to refrain from ogling us, as a matter of respect. This goes for all of the ladies in our camp, especially my Kari and Shanaw. Of course, if you manage to *laughs* seduce my sister, that's a different story.

Tom: Understood. I promise.

Blod: If I catch you peeping on me, or anyone else, or hear of you peeping on me or anyone else, you will regret it.

Tom: *gulps*

Cissé: Hadn't you better have a word with them both? If you don't, we will lose our inventor and soothsayer.

Eirik: Already on it.

Later that evening, Eustache was staring out to sea, lost in his own thoughts.

Maybe he should have had Björn killed when they had the chance. But what if he came back to life like Parvaneh did? What if the Blues allowed him to terrorise the island for their amusement and killing him would have incurred their wrath? Would these alliances work out? Would they prompt other foes to come out of the woodwork? Then there were the troubles brewing in camp. How long would it be before Blod challenged him for leadership and thrust her unwilling husband forward? Would Tom challenge him for leadership? He wouldn't last five minutes as leader but, as Eustache hated to admit, he needed him. It was down to Tom's ideas and insight that the group had had the edge since his arrival. How was he to keep him out of harm's way while ensuring he didn't contest his leadership? And what of Yaghoub? He's been brooding for days on whatever he had heard about Parvaneh. What was taking him so long to-

Eustache had spun round at the very faint sound of footsteps. A hooded figure had a knife to his throat. Eustache ducked, punched his aggressor in the torso, whacked them on the back of the neck and retrieved the knife in one seamless move.

Eustache: You're going to have to do better than that if you want to end me, Yaghoub.

Yaghoub: *panting from being winded* Someone...has to...stop you...

Eustache: I can promise you that that won't be you.

Yaghoub: Nearly everyone hates you. You're...a weak leader...cowardly...selfish...you treat women terribly...

Eustache: Says you who kept Parvaneh captive on your ship against her will for ten years. Yes, she told me.

Yaghoub: THAT...IS HARDLY...IN THE SAME LEAGUE! I WAS PROTECTING HER FROM MY GOVERNMENT! THE ONLY PERSON YOU PROTECT IS YOURSELF!

Knut: What's going on?

Eustache: We're ironing out our...disagreements...

Knut: Can you do it quietly and not kill each other? We're trying to sleep.

**Day 143**

Tom: Ingrid, you're so hot!

Ingrid: You must be Tom. Tales of your deeds spread far beyond your camp's borders.

Tom: Inventor and soothsayer, at your service!

Ingrid: Mmm, yes, I could do with a man of your talents and knowledge in my group...and my bedroom. Come over to the dark side, Tom. We have boobies!

Tom: Prove it and I'll consider- WOWEE!

Ingrid: Oh, Tom...Tom...

Cissé: Tom...Tom...wakey wakey. It's our shift in the towers this morning.

Tom: Ah, bollocks.

Cissé: And don't even think about Ingrid. She's a dangerous woman and she can easily outfox most of us.

Tom: Was I muttering her name in my sleep?

Cissé: I'm afraid so.

Later that morning...

Cissé: Tom, nature's calling. See you in ten minutes.

A shieldmaiden approaches, only she looks more...enlightened, businesslike, purposeful.

Ingrid: By the towers, I can see I have arrived at the right place. You there! Please let your leader know that Ingrid is here to see him.

Tom: I...I...Ingrid? *under his breath* she IS hot!

Ingrid: You must be Tom. Tales of your misdeeds and lack of tact spread far beyond your camp's borders.

Tom: They do? Erm...I mean...is there anything you want to know? I can be very useful.

Ingrid: No doubt. What materials you use to build these towers would be a good start.

Tom: I can tell you after we fuck.

Ingrid: WHAT!?

Tom: I'm quite loose-tongued once I'm cuddled up to a gorgeous babe.

Ingrid: You don't waste any time, do you?

Tom: Nope. Nobody's in our shelter right now, so we would have the place to ourselves...

Ingrid: Hard luck. I'm not interested in men. Now, where's your leader?

Tom: Darn. Eustache is out logging at the moment, but our senior diplomat Cissé will be here shortly.

Ingrid: I'll wait for him, then. So... what gives you your powers?

Tom: Being born about 950 years in the future and a slightly differently-developed brain. Great for facts, language, science and mathematics but bad for social development and creative thinking.

Ingrid: That doesn't surprise me. How have you settled in here?

Tom: Not without difficulty. Things are rather...different in my time. Those who are not gifted physically can avoid fights, hunting and all physical labour. We are also undergoing a revolution whereby women are gaining more rights and are gradually being accepted as equals in a few areas. Thankfully this camp shares some of those values.

Ingrid: Then how did you end up treating every woman as a sex object?

Tom: Misplaced belief in it being the right time and place, plus having an almost completely sex-driven mind. I actually believe women have a harder lot in life than men. One of the biggest issues for women is the ignorance of men.

Ingrid: Hahahahahaha! Hahahohohohohoho!

Tom: You think it's funny?

Ingrid: Coming from your mouth, very much so! Have you never heard of irony?

Cissé: Ah, Ingrid! Welcome to our settlement!

Once Ingrid had gone...

Cissé: She came snooping. Did you give anything away?

Tom: Nope. I did learn she's a lesbian, though. Maybe Moira and Kari are the best to win her over, after all.

Cissé: When you find there are other joys and wonders in life than the intimate company of a beautiful lady, you will be a happier and better person.

Tom: Sorry, Cissé. I get carried away sometimes.

Cissé: You'll learn. Anyway, we can expect an attack within the next two days from Harald, maybe even today.

Eustache, Eirik, Kari and Shanaw then appeared, looking very bruised and bloody. The consolation was that they had plenty of wood.

Cissé: Friends, I have bad news. Ingrid paid us a visit. She didn't learn anything while she was here. I think we can expect an attack from Harald's men (maybe propped up by Ingrid's forces) within the next two days, perhaps today.

The injured groaned.

Cissé: Let's get you patched up. I have some Kola potion too.

Later that day, the gongs rang.

Knut: TO AAAAARRRRRMMMSS!

Thankfully, Harald and his men had underestimated the ballistas and had no idea about the pistols. None got out alive.

Eustache: He'll think twice before attacking our camp again!

In the evening...

Harald: I, Harald Haraldson, demand to see someone in charge!

Kari: Cast your weapon aside and I shall call for him.

Soon, Knut was on the scene.

Harald: What did you do with my men?

Knut: They all perished fighting. If you wanted them to come back, you shouldn't have sent them to attack us.

Harald: Where will it stop?

Knut: Where will what stop?

Harald: Your expansion, your collective muscle flexing.

Knut: We want to live on this island in peace. Björn makes that impossible. All we are doing is protecting ourselves and anyone we ally ourselves with. You have nothing to fear.

Harald: Nothing to fear? My best fighters are dead because of you!

Knut: We did not want to fight you. You looked for a fight. You found one. If you wish to join us, we would be pleased to have you.

Harald: But my men are dead!

Knut: Are you a proud Norseman or not? They went to Valhalla. If you prefer, we can take them prisoner and then return them to you. I would find that humiliating but that is the only other option here.

Harald: So, you don't wish to wipe out my group?

Knut: No.

Harald: We would rather stay out of your power play with Björn.

Knut: In that case, our terms are that you do not harm us or our allies. In return, we will leave you alone until you approach us for a different arrangement.

Harald: Done.

With that, he left the camp.

Kari: Man, is he like a dog with a bone or what?

Knut: He is concerned that we are becoming a real threat as a major power on the island. I understand where he is coming from. We need to stand our ground and keep telling him he need not fear us. He will give in in the end. Deep down, he wants an island safe from Björn too.

Kari: Why didn't we kill Björn when we had the chance?

Knut: Because of the Heodenings curse. We also don't know how the Blue people would react if we upset the power balance on the island that much. I think they get a kick out of seeing everyone suffer.

Their conversation was cut short by a scout, bent over and short of breath from having run at top speed for longer than his body could take.

Scout: Please hurry!

Knut: Whose group is being attacked?

Scout: Olaf's. Björn...*thud*

Knut: Smash the gong, Kari. Quicker than going back to explain.

Knut grabbed his hammer.

Knut: *to himself* We'll have to help them build towers tomorrow. That's if they survive the night.

Much later, after the napping area had been converted into an extension of the healing tent...

Eirik: Anything eventful here?

Moira: Nope, thank the gods. What happened to you lot over there?

Eirik: By the time we got there, Olaf's camp was ablaze and his remaining men were outnumbered 3 to 1. Grim was there too. That's how Knut and I got arrows to the shoulder. Once the thugs had been defeated, they ran. We used the opportunity to douse the flames. Solveig is on her way there now to replenish their water supply. They were heavily hit. I wouldn't be surprised if they pull out of the alliance. Either way, we're going back there tomorrow to help them build towers. We owe them that much for dragging them into this mess with us.

Moira: Oh no, you don't! That deep gash in your arm must hurt like Hel.

Eirik: You know what, I hadn't even noticed. In that case, Cissé will have to go instead.

Moira: That's fine. Gudrun and I should be able to cope here. What happened to Olaf's medic?

Eirik: Impaled in the eye.

Moira: Oh dear. It sounds like they can't do without our support now.

Blod: It was Tom's idea, this alliance thing. He has a lot to answer for! Oooooh!

Moira: Shhhh. That head wound is nasty. We can't go blaming Tom for this. Without the alliance, our escorts would have been spread too thinly or we would have had to go without resources.

Blod: Well- Owwww...

Moira: So, what happens now?

Eirik: We need to get over to Granni's as soon as we can to build their towers and prop up their defensive number. They are next on Björn's hit list. I can feel it.

Gudrun: You bet your bones they're next! Thankfully Knut took damage to his stump rather than his leg. You owe it to them to defend their camp! You get your arses up there tomorrow and-

Blod: Please sush. Owwww...

**Day 144**

Knut, Eustache, Kari and Shanaw went to Granni's camp as soon as they could, closely followed by Lady Tomoe as soon as the sheep had been fed and milked. Olaf's men went too. They couldn't bear the thought of another camp taking the battering theirs did the previous night.

Cissé, Tom and Yaghoub went to Olaf's camp, taking a sack of quicklime and Knut's cement-mixing barrel with them, to show their allies how to build the towers and give them a head start. The ballista would have to wait until Eirik had been released.

Meanwhile, in camp, Solveig was left to man a tower, with Moira in the other. Thurmod had been crying most of the night due to all the commotion and tension (yes, babies and toddlers pick up on that sort of thing) and Solveig was in a very grumpy mood.

Solveig: So, everything has been put on hold! I can't see to my garden, those sheep might have a problem or escape, our wood stockpile is low because we gave so much of it to Olaf's lot and you healers are nearly out of medicinal herbs! Not to mention I don't know how many I'm cooking for tonight! Will I even get to cook or will I be up here all day? It's a complete shambles! Nobody has thought this through!

Moira: I'm sure most of that will fix itself within a couple of days. You can serve cheese and fruit tonight. Granni's lot will bring some medicinal herbs today or tomorrow, provided they don't get confiscated or torched by Björn's men.

Solveig: We were doing fine. Surely it can't be so dangerous out there that we need to resort to this? We have fighters to provide an escort.

Moira: We were sending out more than one party at once, remember? Especially in the morning. Besides, if all our fighters were out escorting every day, who would do the logging and crafting? Exploration would grind to a halt.

Solveig: Wasn't there a way to not aggravate Björn?

Moira: Yes. Letting him land that ship of his and destroy our camp. I doubt any of us would have made it out alive.

Solveig: I thought this alliance was supposed to make life easier.

Moira: It will be. Trust me. Wait and see. In a week, things will have settled down, I'm sure.

That evening, the three who went to Olaf's camp returned for dinner. Word had been sent from Granni's camp that there had been no attack yet, so the heroes had to stay the night. Also from Granni's camp, some herbs had been brought.

Gudrun: Most of these are COOKING herbs! That's not soapwort, that's a dockleaf! *sighs heavily* I will join your foraging party tomorrow. You have a lot of learning to do!

Tom: You'll be pleased to hear we made good progress. The bases are complete. They are getting the hang of it. When can Eirik join us?

Moira: Tomorrow.

Eirik: I'll take all the parts with me so they can see how it all comes together. Do they have tools?

Tom: Yes but not as good as ours.

Moira: Do they still want to be part of the alliance?

Cissé: We can tell that this is more hassle than they anticipated, but they can't do without our help. They will stay, for now at least.

**Day 145**

Blodeuwedd agreed to man a tower, which freed Solveig up to do some gardening and mind the sheep. Eirik, Yaghoub and Cissé went to Olaf's camp to finish the ballistatowers. Gudrun went off to Granni's camp to train the foragers. Tom stayed back to help Solveig with the gardening and the sheep. He was hoping to catch Moira on her own but she was manning a tower all day. By lunchtime, he gave up, grabbed a bit of cheese and made for Granni's camp.

At supper time, everybody came back. Those who had gone to Olaf's camp looked almost triumphant. For those returning from Granni's camp, it was a very different story that was painted on their faces. They were filed into the enlarged healing tent.

Knut: That was the toughest battle we have been in and won since we set foot on this island.

Tom: You should have seen the faces of Olaf's men when their former campmates appeared, on Björn's side!

Knut: There were about twoscore of them, onescore of us. We could have done with ballistatowers to soften them up a bit. Olaf's men couldn't bring themselves to attack their former friends and family. They were lucky to get out of there alive.

Tom: But at what cost? Look at them!

Olaf's men were rocking back and forth, white as sheets, staring at nothing, muttering gibberish.

Moira: We'll do our best to rehab them before the go back to Olaf.

Knut: We need to get back there to help them build towers as soon as we can!

Moira: That won't be you! With your deep wounds, you will need to stop here for two days. Let Cissé, Eirik and Yaghoub take care of the towers.

Tom: Moira...do you have time to talk?

Moira: Does it look like we're alone?

Tom: Sorry.


	17. Chapter 17

**Day 146**

Eustache had snuck out at first light so that the healers couldn't stop him heading out. Hopefully he would be back before he noticed. He found her.

Freyja: Yes, my child?

The cats hissed at him but he had learned to ignore them.

This...Heodenings Curse...how does it work exactly?

Freyja: As the Norse poem goes, those who die in battle get resurrected to fight again.

Eustache: Yes, yes, we know that part! Who/what resurrects them and will they always join Björn's forces?

Freyja: *laughs* I will need 4 orichalcum beads before I answer those questions.

Eustache: Per question or total? Maybe you can tell me then what would have happened had we killed Björn the other day!

Freyja: Per question. Same for that one.

Eustache: You can't be serious! We're in a crisis here and all you can think about are your precious beads!? What do you need them for, anyway?

Freyja: Okay, I will answer that one for free. They are a measure of prestige but can also power devices our people made. Moira and Blodeuwedd have already killed the volcano, so the only devices that remain are creature comforts for those who are left.

Eustache: Can you give us any insight or advice that can help us keep Björn at bay?

Freyja: You are already doing everything you can, child.

Eustache: The ballistatowers, guns, armed escorts and the alliances?

Freyja: Yes. There is a reason your man from the future is here. Use him wisely. Listen to him.

Eustache: Is my leadership safe?

Freyja: No.

Eustache: Will he challenge me?

Freyja: Not intentionally.

Eustache: Will anyone else challenge me?

Freyja: I think you already know the answer to that question.

Eustache: Will I be ejected from camp if I lose a leadership contest?

Freyja: Only if you continue to upset and aggravate your comrades.

Eustache: Where is my next girl going to come from?

Freyja: I honestly don't know.

Eustache: Can any of my comrades die permanently?

Freyja: To answer your question literally, you have already laid Parvaneh to rest. To answer the question you meant to ask, that'll be another 4 beads.

Eustache: Bah! You're loving this, aren't you?

Freyja: Was that a real question?

Eustache: Grrr. You'll get your damn beads!

Knut: Moira, we're nearly out of rope. Will you let me make some more?

Moira: 'Fraid knot. You need to rest. I'll make you up an ointment, then Tom and I will make your rope.

Knut: You are a woman of many talents! Thank you, Moira!

Narrator's note - Solveig really had done a number on Eustache's politeness and etiquette. This is not the same Knut who squabbled with all healers and scowled at spinsters in CCCP's Story Mode storyline.

Moira: Tom, you and I will be on the forge making rope this morning.

Tom: Enough to hang myself?

Moira: Don't ever say I never give you anything!

Tom: Haha. I'll grab the hemp.

Tom went out, gathered some hemp, considered smoking it and made his way to the forge. It had been going overnight with lime. This was not something he trusted himself with. Eirik retrieved the lime and headed off to Granni's camp. Moira appeared soon after.

Tom: I must confess that I have never made rope before.

Moira: Really? No!

Moira took the bundle.

Moira: First off, we only need the stalks. The rest can be used for the toilet and sheep bedding. Next, we dry the stalks. We can do this by holding close to the forge with a metal plate between. If any spark lands on the stalks, it's goodbye hemp. Once you think it's dry enough, try snapping the lengths. They should snap. If not, you need to continue trying them. Then, pry off the outer shell and use the inner fibre. This is then woven into rope.

Tom: There's no way in hell I'm going to remember all that on the first try. My short-term memory is very poor indeed.

Moira: Let's start with isolating the stalks. Keep the discard pile and the stalks pile well away from the forge. I usually do this over here at the tavern, seeing as we rarely use it nowadays.

Tom: Okay. Let's do this.

Moira let him settle. Once he was as settled as he could be...

Moira: Talk.

Tom: *gulps* I've really messed up. You have deserved better.

Moira: Yes and yes. Continue.

Tom: I'm sorry for how this has played out and how I've behaved.

Moira: Am I supposed to care?

Tom: Did you feel anything that night?

Moira: I FELT a cock that only went beyond half-mast when the eyes were gawping at my sister!

Tom: That might have been true later on but he was rock hard for you at the start.

Moira: What are you saying?

Tom: I'm saying he's high maintenance.

Moira: Wow. You greedy fucker.

Tom: Haven't you ever been like that?

Moira: Yes but not with you.

Tom: Your sister was...very distracting. Don't get me wrong! If I were fucking her instead, I'd have been gawping at you.

Moira: So, it's HER fault now that you can't keep your mind on the job at hand? You've stopped sorting the hemp, by the way.

Tom: *resumes separating the stalks* Sorry. I'm very distractable. I can't multitask to save my life.

Moira: Is this supposed to redeem yourself?

Tom: Not at all, just being honest, however damning that is.

Moira: Next, we dry the stalks. Put the metal sheet there in the sticky, spongy substance at the front end of the anvil, then put the stack on the anvil.

They move back over to the forge and resume.

Moira: I've moved on. There's a couple of suitors I'm interested in.

Tom: Well, Yaghoub I'm sure is more than capable of fiery passion and some devilish moves in the bedroom but you won't be able to get an intelligent conversation out of him. Cissé is the opposite. I bet his bedroom preferences are just a little bit weird. Then there's me. I'm not sure I can compete.

Moira: Ooh, I don't know. You're still young, getting fitter all the time and have an impressive mind. You can be just as filthy as Yaghoub and I'm sure I can improve your stamina. Wait, am I making your case now?

Tom: Very well, I might add. Do you want to give me another try?

Moira: Depends how passionate a kisser you are.

Tom slid Moira close and embraced her with full emotion. After five minutes or so, Tom pulled away.

Tom: We'd better finish this rope.

Moira: Quickly.

**Day 147**

Eustache: Everyone! *bang bang bang* (he had carved himself a gavel) The last few days have been hard on all of us. Thank you all for your patience and endurance. You'll be pleased to hear that not only are our wounded fighters on the mend but we are already halfway through building the ballistatowers at Granni's. But that's not the biggest news, however.

Eustache: Tower-building team, gather some more chalk because Jannick has approached us. He has seen how gallantly we have fought for our fellow countrymen and wants to enter our alliance! What will he give us, I hear you ask! Fighters. They will escort the other camps in our alliance in every outing unless we or they ask otherwise. In return, they want some of our produce and wood, like the other camps. This means that we must gather wood every day with three loggers and a forester, who must all be battle-ready.

Eustache: It also means we need to keep more livestock and plough fields to grow fruit and vegetables. We can do this. Our neighbouring plateau, Solveig assures me, is nutrient-rich. She and (I'm sure) Leif's men will farm these pastures for us. Soon, we will be swimming in resources and feel safe amongst our new friends. A golden age is in our grasp. Everyone, please raise your drinking horns in a toast. TO THE ALLIANCE!

After the harsh few days, this is exactly what everyone needed to hear. They roared in unison and good beer went everywhere as they chinked their horns.

Half an hour later, Eustache drew Moira, Knut, Blod, Eirik, Kari and Solveig aside.

Eustache: We Secret Seven have another mission. Freyja has agreed to give up her secrets about the Heodenings Curse if we give her 4 beads per question. I already have 3. Questions, I mean. If one of you has to drop out, we have Shanaw, Cissé and Gudrun as backup. We start tomorrow. Eirik, Yaghoub can take your place building the towers.

Tom had snuck out. He knew where Freyja normally dwelt. She wasn't there, but he could track her and her cats. If his hunch was correct, she only left her post when there were dead to return to the land of the living.

Tom: Where's the Blue going?

Eventually, he came to a clearing. There were bodies floating in mid-air with strange glows. All three Blues were there. They were muttering some inaudible long incantations, each different, with different glows/spells emanating from each of them.

Freyja had the power to heal, so she must be bringing them back to life. Loki was always looking to be entertained by the misfortune of others, so he must be the one picking which side the resurrected would fight on. Thor has the power to improve someone's battle prowess, so he must be giving them some killer edge. This all made sense but why? Was this some reality TV show for them where they are both the producers and the audience?

Tom sensed that the metamorphosis was nearly complete, so rather than risk being smelt out by Freyja's cats and then hunted down by Thor, he realised he had better return to camp pronto, taking a detour so as to not be inadvertently followed by the Blues or the cats.

Back at camp once Tom had returned...

Eustache: Good work, Tom! Hopefully we don't need 12 beads now, or at the very least we can ask different questions.


	18. Chapter 18

**Day 148**

Graham: ...so as you can see, all the other evidence in the area screams Viking and it was a very war-ridden island. These were not happy people! Maybe they were desperate to get to Valhalla. Who knows? But then we found these *changes slide*. Now these are ballistatowers. It wasn't too early for such things. The Romans had built defensive towers and separately had ratchet catapults. The Ancient Greeks had ballistas. But look at the brickwork here. That's concrete. Again, the Romans used a rudimentary version of concrete but this concrete block type and cement exactly matches a method we use today. But the Vikings didn't know how to make concrete or build ballistatowers, so what are these doing here?

Graham: *changes slide* Even if you can somehow get your head round that, you can't explain away these. These were found in one of the Viking shelters, a tallhouse rather than one of the longhouses they usually build. Look at it. That's a modern-day gun, wouldn't you say? The Chinese had invented gunpowder by this point but it didn't reach Europe until the 17th century. Modern day revolvers and handguns like these weren't developed until the 19th century. What on Earth are they doing here?

Graham: *changes slide* Here, we have the remnants of two privy loos. Vikings didn't normally make these, although you can see why they did. Why go for a shit in the woods where you can be decapitated mid push or mid wipe when you can shit in the safety of your own camp without affecting the hygiene of the camp? Again, the Romans used similar technology but we didn't use it again until the Victorian era.

Graham: By now, you're thinking either these found themselves onto the site much later or it's sheer coincidence that they experimented with these technologies. Let me tell you that there are no duds that you find when experimentation occurs. These were all perfect and appear suddenly without precedent. All of you here are familiar with my other work, so you know what I'm about to suggest: transfer of technology. Someone taught these Vikings how to make these things. I hear what you're saying. A survivor of a catastrophic event could not have found their way here without time travel. Time travel is impossible, right? Where's your proof, Graham? Well, here's my proof...

There are several gasps from the audience before the slide change. Once the slide had changed, the whole auditorium became one massive gasp.

Graham: On this skeleton, we found modern day dental work and a watch. This watch was a Citizen Eco Drive, a very reliable watch that ran off sunlight, kept very accurate time, had diver dials and had fluorescent bits in the hands. They didn't make these until 1995 and they still make them now. By the level of body and dental deterioration, we can say that this man was in his thirties. Now, you could argue that he could be a frequent time traveller and therefore we cannot pinpoint when he was born. Why would he stay here of his own free will where he has none of his creature comforts and every likelihood someone would try to kill him tomorrow? Thankfully, he left us another piece of evidence. He was found holding this stone tablet. *changes slide*

Graham: It reads "Graham Hancock, you were my inspiration. Please forgive me. Tom Moore, born 1986, left 2019, arrived 11th century."

The auditorium exploded with applause, whistles and whoops. It started to fade away very quickly and Tom woke up.

Eustache: Come on, Secret Seven! Let's go get us some beads!

The first one was a tall, twisted, thorny birch tree. There was a rune carved in its trunk.

Moira: It's Berkanan, the mark of fertility, union and growth.

Eustache: So, what do we do, climb the tree?

Before anyone could stop her, Kari was disappearing into the foliage.

Eirik pulled Blodeuwedd close.

Eirik: It will be fine. She is the best for the job.

Blodeuwedd looked up, worried.

Eventually, Kari came down, beaming.

Kari: Guys, you wouldn't believe how amazing it is up there! It's-

Knut: Do you have the bead?

Kari: No. I don't think that's how we get it.

Knut: Wait, I think I know how to get it!

To everyone's astonishment, Knut started hugging the tree. The thorns dug in, but he kept hugging. His face changed colour. Solveig gasped and went to help him but Moira held her back.

Moira: Something is happening. Look!

Knut stepped back from the tree, light-headed and intoxicated. He fell to the ground, with an uncharacteristically joyful and serene look on his face. The tree disappeared and Knut opened his hand. A bead!

The second one was a dead, helmeted warrior in the forest, who was wearing pendant on a chain. Moira went to examine it.

Moira: The rune is Algiz, the mark of protection and higher self, the rune of the divine-

Knut: Yes, yes, yes. We don't have all day.

Moira: I was about to say it teaches courage in the face of fear, so seeing as you've volunteered...

Knut: Hmpf...

Knut reached his hand to take the pendant, finding the skeleton's hand to be closing as his hand approached. Knut yanked at the pendant, only to find the skeleton matched his force. Knut heaved and tried harder. It got to the point where his massive forearms trembled. Then, without warning, the spirit just gave up. The pendant crumbled to dust.

Knut then carefully prised the helmet off the now lifeless corpse, to reveal...

Knut: Holy crap!

It wasn't a skeleton staring back at him, but a face well-preserved - his own.

Knut: WHAT KIND OF TRICK IS THIS, LOKI?

Knut then entered a short trance. When he came to, the face faded to the skull they had been expecting. Well, not quite. There was something shiny in one of the eye sockets.

The third one was a huge horn with a load of rubbish in it.

Moira: Ohh! Blod and I did this one before we joined your camp. There's no point taking the rubbish out by hand. It just reappears. It has to be blown out.

Eustache: Who here has good stamina?

Eirik: Erm...Blod does...

Blodeuwedd stepped up to give it a long, nasty blow.

Moira: Imagine you're blowing Eirik!

Eirik: Heheheh...

Blod: SHUT UP!

The fourth and final one of the morning was the Old Man of the Lake.

Eustache: Moira, are you getting anything?

Moira: Yes but nothing clear. I think this is one for Gudrun. I'll fetch her.

Eventually, Gudrun arrived.

Gudrun: Don't rush me. dear. These bones creak and they hurt.

Then she saw him.

Gudrun: AAAHH! This is about Laguz, the rune of water, great unifier of life and portal to the collective unconscious. Somehow, the ocean is moving in its sleep, the surface mirroring its dreams.

Eustache: But it's just...floating...HEY! Who the fuck are-

As if in disgust at the question, the head conjures up a sneeze. With a head this size, that meant a huge nasty fishy waft of mist shot out like fog in a bog, hurled at 110 km/h. It hit Eustache like a dog's wet fart. He fell to the ground in a fit of coughing and vomiting. The head just gazed into space in disinterest and contempt.

Knut thrust forward and tugged at the beard.

Knut: Listen, you...

The beard coiled around him. Through bruteforce alone, Knut broke free.

Moira: Okay, another plan. Let's try talking to him again, someone that can put up with that major halitosis.

She looked around for volunteers, but of course there weren't any.

Moira: Okay, anyone who thinks they can dodge what that fucker puts out.

This time, Kari stepped forward.

Kari: Weird head, we are-

A jet of water shoots from his mouth. Kari jumped out of the way just in time, only to see the jet demolish a tree.

Eirik: There's no sense in wasting this wood.

Gudrun: I'm getting tired of this. You stupid idiots! You need to ask him the right question!

Solveig: Be our guest!

Gudrun stands as close to the head as she can. He turns and looks at her. Everybody gasps. Gudrun then went into a trance. She relaxes. After a few moments, a whirlpool starts directly below the head, the beard looking like the most precarious ladder in the world.

Eustache picks himself up and takes in the situation.

Eustache: Kari, you're agile. Fancy a go?

Kari reluctantly stepped forward, took a running jump and grabbed the beard-ladder. Everyone shuddered and gasped. Kari climbed down, out of sight. After what seemed like an age, the whirlpool spat her out onto the shore.

Kari: *coughs water out of her lungs* There's...something down there...something I can't...work out...some...puzzle...

Hesitantly, Cissé stepped forward. He took a running jump, grabbed the beard and climbed down. After a wait longer than when Kari went down, Cissé floats up as if by magic and gently lands on the shore.

Cissé: That being's name is Mimir.

With that, the head unrolls its tongue and drops a bead upon the shore, then disappears.

On their way back, they find Loki with an unwelcome visitor. The group stay well back.

Björn: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!

Loki: *sounds bored and irritated* What is it now?

Björn: DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!

Loki: I do many things. You'll need to remind me.

Björn: Last night's recruits. You got one of them to punch me in the face and the others to roar with laughter. NOT FUNNY! I had to dispose of the whole batch. When are they coming back?

Loki: Oh. Heheh. When we're ready.

Björn: That's not good enough! Tonight or else!

Loki: Look, Björn, you don't scare me, okay? I'm a god, you're not. Simples. Now leave me to my-

At this point, Björn grabbed Loki off his throne and smashed him on the ground one side, then the other, several times, so fast it was a blur. Björn left Loki face down in the meadow. Loki groaned in agony and resignation.

Once they were sure Björn was no longer in earshot...

Eustache: *Pointed* Ha-hah!

Loki: Ohhh...why can't he try that on Thor instead? I'd love to see that and Thor's reaction...

**Day 149**

Freyja: We brought you here to readdress the balance between light and dark. You are getting ideas above your station.

Tom: What, trying to peep? You are always naked.

Freyja rolled her eyes and exposed herself more to prove her point.

Freyja: No, I mean mess with the Heodenings Curse.

Tom: What are you afraid of?

Freyja: The answer to that question-

Tom: I'll answer it myself: the end of your existence.

Freyja: There is another way. Besides, wouldn't you rather return to your own time?

Tom: That would be nice but you have no intention of sending me back. You probably can't even do the return trip.

Freyja: *groans wearily* You wouldn't understand, child...

Tom: Try me and I might humour you (no guarantees, though).

Freyja: *sighs heavily*

Then Tom woke up.

Tom: Bugger, bugger, bugger!

Eustache: Come on, peeps! Those beads don't find themselves!

The first one of the day was a spot on a lake that was the focus of sunlight such that the reflection shape was clearly that of a rune.

Moira: SÕWILÕ - the Sun, guidance, success, honor, and fire.

Eustache: Any ideas?

Moira: Well, the sun seems to be guiding us into the water...

Before anyone could say anything else, Kari was in the water. Blod and Eirik knew she was a good swimmer but looked anxiously for danger all the same.

Next, Kari grabbed at something. It took off, carrying Kari with it.

Blod: Be careful!

Kari suddenly stopped and felt the drag of the water. Everyone sighed in disappointment. Kari punched the water in frustration, sending a splash into the air, then swam back to shore.

Kari: It's hot. I only took my hand off for a moment!

Eustache: Looks like Captain Eustache will have to save the day!

With that, he jumped in.

Eirik: Kari, get Shanaw. He won't succeed.

This was evidently true. Eustache's cloak was slowing him down. Eventually, he caught the...thing. After a while, there was an audible...

Eustache: OWW!

And the thing got away again. Upon getting back to shore...

Eustache: Little bugger! *gasps for breath* Must be...a...posessed...orichalcum bead...

A short while later, Shanaw arrived. She looked resolute and determined. Wasting no time, she jumped in.

She caught the posessed bead. It took her on a tour round the lake, finally giving up. She swam back to shore. Upon landing, she held up her fist in triumph. Amid cheers, Solveig gestured a bag, which Shanaw dropped the bead in.

Solveig: Well do- oh! Your hands!

Shanaw had 1st degree burns.

Moira: Nothing we can't fix with aloe vera ointment. Come.

They went on to the second site without Moira and Shanaw. It was the Ominous Gate.

Knut: We need no scholar to tell us what this is and what we need to do! This is Helgate and we must steel our courage. What is not clear is if we need to die in order to pass through.

Eirik: I don't think that's the case. How would someone dead return the bead to the land of the living? No, this...thing...is to give us the dread and horror of Helgate but this isn't the real thing. I'm with you on needing to steel courage.

Knut psyched himself up, then slowly strode across to the chains. He jiggled them cautiously. A metallic groan could be heard as a door of the gate swung open.

Cold sweat dripping off Knut's trembling brow, he walked in. After a while, he staggered back out, very shaken and barely conscious of where he was.

Eustache: I think we're approaching this all wrong. I wonder...

Eustache went around the back of the gate and vanished.

After what seemed like an age, he reappeared, clutching the bead. The gate groaned like a railroad under great strain and crumbled to dust.

The third site of the day was a table with a box and a cube on it. The cube had a different number of spots on each face.

Eustache: This is a gambling table but not like one I've ever seen. The bead is probably in that box but we probably have to roll that die a few times for it to open. Careful. Each roll will be a drain on us of some sort.

Blod: Look at the engravings on the box. I think they give a clue as to what skillchecks and drains we should expect on each roll. See, that Star means wisdom. That stick-man standing on his head I think means agility and that ripple...

Eustache: Charisma. Words flow like a river. Then we have a triangle inside a stickman, which I think means inner strength or constitution...

Blod: ...and footprints. Stepping forward, so courage?

Eustache: You know what? I think we've cracked it! Wisdom...Solveig, do you fancy a go?

Solveig took the die nervously and rolled it. The box made a funny little click noise.

Eustache: I think it worked. Kari?

Kari moodily gave the die a skeptical role. Another little click came from the box.

Eustache: Blod?

Blod snootily took the die and rolled it. Click!

Eustache: Knut?

Blod: He had to go back to camp because he was so shaken by the Helgate, remember?

Eustache: Oh! Kari, do you fancy taking his place? It's courage this time.

Kari: You lot are scared of a spotted cube and a little box that clicks? It beggars belief...

With disinterest and disdain, she gives the die another roll. The box makes a different clicky noise. Instictively, Eustache tries to open it, succeeds without any effort and takes the bead.

By the fourth site, Moira had caught up. It was an outdoor alchemist's lab set.

Moira: Blod and I have already completed this one before. The fire crystal is put in the system, a black liquid comes out that takes some courage to drink, some white liquid also comes out (which is not fish snot or man juice) that is not for the gentle-stomached, then some golden liquid comes out that only the wise should drink and finally a clever person needs to inhale red fumes.

Moira puts the fire crystal in.

Moira: Kari, drink this. Solveig drink this. I'll drink this.

Soon, the ominous red fumes could be seen. Moira breathed deeply and collapsed. When she came to, she vomited up a bead.

On the walk back to camp...

Eustache: I think we had better put our bead hunting on hold until Knut and Shanaw have fully recovered. Eirik, could you start building a hen coop, please?

Eirik: Certainly.

Eustache: We will need a pig sty too but we will need to build that on site with concrete blocks. Those boars would just charge a wooden fence until it gave way. But we can't build the sty or put the coop in place until we have adequate defence of the area.

Eirik: Of course. As well as ballistatowers with gongs, we will also need towers with straw bales in. Nobody can pinpoint where the sound of a gong is coming from but you can clearly see burning bales. We used them back...home...

Blod caressed Eirik's shoulder soothingly.

In the towers that night...

Cissé: How are you and Blod these days?

Eirik: We're much better, thanks. I think the worst is behind us.

Cissé: That's great news!

Eirik: We've even managed to get a few cosy moments alone! I was worried she wouldn't want to.

Cissé: She loves you, man. Anyone can see that.

Eirik: And you? How are you these days?

Cissé: Me? Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Those towers don't build themselves! Plus we need another medic sometimes.

Eirik: Are you content just being useful?

Cissé: I'll be fine. Don't worry about me.

Eirik: Cissé, you're the reason I'm still here, alive, with my wife and daughter. Blod is my best friend as well as my wife but you are like family to me now. I care about you.

Cissé: That's very kind of you to say. I am feeling lonely, as it happens. I feel wanted here but...I'm older than you think. I'm running out of time. I want to settle down and experience the joy of raising a family.

Eirik: I can understand that. It's very rewarding. Look at Kari now. She's very self-sufficient and reliable young woman, not to mention she can put anyone here to shame with a bow. Her tenacity is second only to her mother's. That's why we get on so well, I think. Opposites attract.

Cissé: *sighs*

Eirik: I'm pretty sure Moira wants a go at raising a family. You both get on well. I've seen the way you look at her when you think she and Blod aren't aware! Haha.

Cissé: True but she's spending a lot of quality time with Tom these days.

Eirik: Come on, man! They won't last! His eyes wander too much and is a commitment phobe. Mind, so is she. Their romance will fizzle out. You'll see.

Cissé: I like Tom but...I hope you're right.


	19. Chapter 19

**Day 150**

Solveig found herself up on the plateau in mid spring, surrounded by the sounds of insects polinating the many fruit flowers. She hummed to herself as she weeded the rows. Thormod could be seeing chasing the chickens. Then Knut appeared with a picnic basket.

Knut: Do you fancy some time out, my love? I have some cordial, water, some bread, butter and jams.

Blodeuwedd appeared, smiling.

Blod: Go on. You've earned it. I'll continue weeding and mind Thormod.

Hand in hand, Solveig and Knut walked off to the picnic spot where they got back together. Then all went white and she woke up.

Solveig: Ohhh...

Blod: Come on, Sol. It's our shift in the towers this morning.

In Jannick's camp...

Knut: Yaghoub...

Yaghoub: Yes?

Knut: Do you have a moment? It's about Parvaneh.

Yaghoub: What has not already been said?

Knut: Now we know how the Heodening works, we have reason to believe that Parvaneh had already died before we met her. It would explain why she was so determined to help those vile men. We can't imagine what incentive Björn or his men could have provided to maintain her loyalty. She was safe with us. She even fell for Eirik, which under normal circumstances would make anyone reconsider their spy mission.

Knut waited for Yaghoub's response with bated breath.

Yaghoub: Thank you.

Over in the towers that afternoon...

Tom: You still owe me for that speech I wrote for you the other night.

Eustache: I owe you nothing. As leader, I get to delegate tasks to other team members as I see fit. I gave you the task of writing my speech because you are better at that sort of thing than me.

Tom: With that attitude, people will stop doing you favours and turn their back on you. You were on shaky ground as it was. Arguably, you still are.

Eustache: That's irrelevant!

Tom: No it's not. This is a fragile democracy under your rule and you need all the help you can get to cling to power.

Eustache: Do you want to be knocked out?

Tom: Do you want to write your own speeches and have other people jostle to topple you? I only need to make one speech myself and the pitchforks will come out.

Eustache: You wouldn't dare!

Tom: Don't test me, Eustache! I'm still willing to help you if you're a little more humble and grateful, more reciprocating.

Eustache: Not happening. I don't do special favours or share power.

Tom: If that's your attitude, so be it.

That evening...

Tom tapped his drinking horn with his cutlery, as if to make a toast. Everyone quietened down.

Tom: Comrades, norsemen, those from faraway lands, lend me your ears! Despite overwhelming odds, we have built a community here. What separates us from the bad men who dwell beyond our our allies' borders is that we have good interred in our bones (although I sometimes worry with Kari whenever murder flashes in her eyes). We are led by the saucy seaman that is Eustache.

Eustache started to move over in anger and fear but Knut grabbed him.

Tom: From the moment he brought Knut, Gudrun and Shanaw together, I'm told, her asserted himself as leader and surrounded himself with specialists who would keep the camp going and keep him alive. But leaders are allowed to do that, right?

Tom: He gave these specialists no support whatsoever. When it came to teaching Shanaw how to fish, this came at a cost. But that's the leader's prerogative, right?

Once the hubbub had died down, Tom continued.

Tom: He rarely lent Knut a hand at building camp stations. Shanaw had to explore and often fish alone. When she didn't fish alone, she may have been somewhat protected from Björn's thugs but not from Eustache's wandering hand! But that's the leader's prerogative, right?

Tom: When the camp badly needed a new cook (sorry, Gudrun) and someone else to explore and hunt, who found them? Knut and Shanaw. And what fine additions they are. All credit to Knut and Shanaw for finding and recruiting Solveig and Kari. But it's the leader's prerogative to delegate important developments like that, right?

Tom: When Kari and Shanaw had a spot of bother, Solveig had to step in and help due to lack of leadership. Hel, Eustache was the cause of one of the problems! When Solveig confronted him, I'm told, he would not hear of changing course for the good of those in camp. His personal needs came first. But leaders get to make choices like that unchallenged, right?

Eustache was frothing at the mouth by now and threatening to break free from Knut's hold.

Tom: I'm told when the camp fell short of a tribute, a cocaine-fuelled Gwen stormed into camp and beat everyone within an inch of their lives. It took newcomers, yes, complete strangers who could have been anyone, to rescue the situation. No input from our leader whatsoever. But we all have our slip-ups, right?

Tom: Later, Eustache did try to recruit a new camp member, it was with self interest in mind. He recruited Parvaneh on the understanding she continued to pole-dance for the delight of the hungry men in our camp and forced her to sleep with him! But that's the leader's prerogative, right?

Tom: When it came to expelling Parvaneh from camp for stealing and spying, nobody was sorry to see her go. From what I've been told, she did even less work than me (and I know that's saying something, coming from me) and worked her way round camp annoying other camp members or making them feel bad (again, I know that's saying something). But nothing could have prepared everyone for how Eustache went about expelling her. I have been told of the look of excruciating agony, humiliation and fear that was etched on her face as she stripped and danced, in the nude for the first and only time, then sent forth without any clothing whatsoever. We all know what happened to poor Blod a fortnight ago. We all know how evil and self-serving men can be when faced with a gorgeous naked woman. That happened as an unfortunate consequence of Eustache's actions, but how Parvaneh left was completely and wholeheartedly deliberate. Bur that was the leader's prerogative, right?

Getting his fellow camp members to relive key moments with the intention of stirring resentment in their leader was having the desired effect.

Tom: Upon the camp needing to sustain frequent and heavy attacks, Eustache had the idea of stationing watchmen up on the hill and building watchtowers. I will give him that. But who is it who has come up with all the necessary ideas for the technological advancement of our camp? I don't think any were from our leader, who is supposed to, via his decisions and ideas, keep us all safe. But leaders can delegate big things like that, right?

Tom: Eustache has been adequate at chairing meetings and co-ordinating manpower for camp reinforcements and meeting tributes, I will give him those.

Tom: Then our delightful and resourceful redheads joined our camp. Even though Blod was married to a team member, Eustache decided that Blod was going to be his. He went about tricking Eirik and weaving a deception. When he pushed further and he was rebuffed, he lost control and tore Blod's clothes. As a direct consequence of this action, as alluded to before, Blod was about to be gang-raped when our warriors found her. Can anyone imagine how that feels? Parvaneh knew first-hand. Where was Eustache? Knocked out cold by his would-be rape victim. But a leader does not need to lead all the time or put everyone else first all the time, right?

Tom: Then, after we defeated Björn (which was all down to Eustache and Kari, I will concede), our leader didn't recognise the threat he still posed until I told him! But that's what advisors are for. Who has been speaking to the leaders of other camps? Not he. Diplomacy is not his strong point, and that's coming from me! But leaders can delegate massively important responsibilities like that, right?

Tom: He made a brilliant keynote speech on our progress the other day. Do you think he wrote that himself? But leaders can delegate and take credit, right?

Tom: In summary, this weak leader puts his own interests above those of the camp and its other members, provides no support to the chiefs of mini teams, is a danger to women, can't be a figurehead for our camp and can't even write his own speeches! Yes, I wrote his speech the other day. Do you still want this scumbag, sorry, MAN as your leader?

The speech had done the trick.

Everyone: NO!

Tom: Would you prefer someone who is well-liked by all, is not afraid to get his hands dirty in anything, is a selfless fighter, had a good tactical mind, is a good diplomat and respects every single member of this camp?

Everyone: YES!

Tom: I present to you...Eirik!

Eirik: Tom, please don't do this. I don't want to lead.

Eustache: Congratulations, you stupid idiot! You've created a power vacuum!

Solveig slapped him.

Solveig: YOU are in disgrace. Shut up!

Tom: Eirik, will you at the very least be interim leader?

Eirik: Well...okay. But only interim.

Tom: Everyone who wants Eirik to be interim leader, please raise your hand!

Everyone except Eustache and Gudrun raised their hands without hesitation.

Tom: Here's to a new era! Everyone, please fill up and raise your horns to toast our new (temporary) leader!

There was a massive collective roar and chinking of horns, with plenty good beer of good beer wasted for the second time in a week.

Tom: Congrats, man!

Eirik: I've helped you out of your power vacuum problem. Now, you need to help me find a permanent leader.

Tom: But...you're perfect...

Eirik: I'm flattered but no, I'm not. Please help me find a new leader, otherwise I will abdicate in favour of Blod or Kari.

Tom: Oh, shit. That wouldn't be good. Done. Handshake?

Tom had introduced handshakes when he first arrived (it originated in the eighteenth century), so Eirik shook his hand awkwardly. Then Kari was next to them.

Kari: Hey. Um...thanks for ousting Eustache and installing my dad.

Tom: Think nothing of it. He's the best man for the job.

Kari: I still think you're a creepy spineless arsehole, but you're okay.

Tom: Umm...thanks...I guess?


	20. Chapter 20

**Day 151**

Björn: THOR, YOU MISERABLE BASTARD! YOU KEEP SENDING ME WEAK MEN WHO CAN'T LAST TWO SECONDS IN AN ATTACK! WHY?

Thor: Do you not train them up before you send them out? Or is it that your foes are stronger than you, wimp? Hahaha.

Björn: They should be ready to fight, immediately!

Thor: Where in our agreement does it say that, wimp?

Björn: WHAT AGREEMENT? STOP CALLING ME WIMP!

Thor: Exactly! What are you going to do about it, wimp?

Björn picked Thor up and swing-smashed him into the ground a few times until Thor grabbed his legs. Björn lost balance and fell, Thor on top of him.

Thor: Big mistake, wimp.

With that, Thor twisted Björn's leg off and took a large bite out of the calf. Björn screamed with agony.

Thor: Had enough, wimp?

Kari woke to the sound of Tom's bloodcurdling scream.

Kari: I WAS ENJOYING THAT!

Tom: I wasn't. I'm very squeamish. The empathy I do have made me feel as though my leg was the one being twisted off!

Kari: You need to detach yourself more.

Eirik: We will start building the ballistatowers on the plateau today. There will be five of them. I hope Jannick's men will man them.

Tom: Sounds like a plan, boss!

Eirik: Stop calling me that.

Tom: Sorry. Boss.

Eirik sighed.

When Eustache thought Tom was alone...

Eustache: There you are! Did you have fun last night, boy?

Tom: Yes. Didn't you? Great party.

Eustache: At my expense! You cost me my leadership, boy, and you will regret it.

Tom had seen the knife and was quick to grab Eustache's right arm to push away as hard as he could. With his other hand, he grabbed his gun and put it against Eustache's head.

Tom: I had warned you, several times, but you didn't listen. You only have yourself to blame.

Eustache: Nobody crosses Eustache the Black Monk and lives to tell the tale!

Tom: You've been outmaneuvred again. When will you learn?

Eustache: No, I haven't! You won't pull that trigger and I'm a lot stronger than you, so-

Tom shot Eustache in the right arm. Eustache dropped the knife in shock, agony and horror as blood soaked his smok. Tom ran to get Moira.

Moira: Well, well, well! The would-be rapist of my sister gets his cumuppence! You'd best come with me before that bullet means your arm needs to be amputated.

That evening, Blod and Eirik have a heart-to-heart.

Blod: How was your first day as leader?

Eirik: Good, thanks. Everyone knew what they were doing. They just got on with it. To be honest, I don't think this camp needs a leader most of the time.

Blod: You're not ducking out of it that easily, mister! They need morale boosts, guidance, co-ordination, someone to make the big decisions, someone who will hold their ground with the other chiefs on the island.

Eirik: We'll see how it goes.

Blod: You're not managing a battle training club! You can't just drop the ball or just hope! We could die!

Eirik: I didn't want this job anyway. I only took it on the understanding Tom would help me find a new leader.

Blod: Either step up or find someone quickly.

**Day 152**

Eustache had got up for a midnight snack, naked. He tried sneaking past Kari and Shanaw but didn't account for watchful eyes that couldn't sleep either. Shanaw screamed, which woke Kari.

Kari: The nerve! Fishing lessons, my mum and now THIS!

Kari took a hunting knife from under her pillow. Eustache guarded his torso and face. Instead, Kari cut off his cock and his balls. Eustache shrieked with agony. Kari gave her knife to Shanaw.

Kari: If he moves, gut him.

Shanaw: Did Shanaw tell you how Shanaw's husband died? Knife to chest. Pierced heart.

Eustache gulped with trepidation, blood pouring out onto the floor.

Kari came back with hammer, nails and foraging gloves. She nailed the cock and balls to a wall and, retrieving the knife from Shanaw (Eustache close to passing out now due to the loss of blood), carved the following message below the gruesome wall art:

May this cock never have the balls to go near a woman again

Eustache passed out. He woke up, screaming. Glad to see his equipment still attached, he sighed. What a nightmare that was!

_Narrator's note to reader: It could only have been a dream because Kari is illiterate. Eustache could read it because he learned to read and write from a young age in the French aristocracy and then as a monk._

When everyone got up...

Blod: Granny, it's your turn in the tower. Tom-

Gudrun: FIRSTLY, DON'T GRANNY ME, YOU FAT BITCH. SECONDLY, I HAVE THE SHAKES. I'LL MISS IF A FOE DOES APPEAR!

Blod: Well, I'm sure you're tired, so get some rest, okay?

Gudrun: I have a protegé völva to train. I don't have time for your nonsense.

Blod: Tom, I was going to put you in the tower-building team on the plateau but I'll have to put you in the tower with Cissé.

Tom: Do you have four people to go logging?

Blod: *to herself* Me, Kari, Shanaw...drat! I wonder if Tomoe is available...

Tom: I'll ask her.

Before Blod could say a word, Tom was off to the pens. When he came back...

Tom: Tomoe says a lamb was born overnight and doesn't want to leave it.

Blod: My sister can look after the sheep. Just tell-

Tom: Didn't you hear Gudrun? She's training Moira this morning.

Blod: That will have to wait.

Tom: I'm not sure it can. Gudrun could drop dead any day now. Moira won't thank you if knowledge dies with her because you wanted to have fun being the rota queen and undermining Gudrun!

Blod: I beg your pardon!

Tom: Aside from my rudeness, my point still stands. Go ahead, ask Moira if you think you need to overrule her.

Blod: Shut up. This has nothing to do with you.

With that, she stormed off to the healing tent. Tom could hear them arguing but not the words, but he could guess. Sure enough, Blod came back with a face like thunder.

Blod: Tom, how are you at looking after sheep and newborn lambs?

Tom: Not good, I'm afraid. I can feed them and that's about it.

Blod: Logging?

Tom: Okay but not great in an ambush. Do you want my advice?

Blod: Not really but I'm out of ideas...

Tom: Have Solveig look after the sheep and Tomoe go logging. Homely chores will have to wait until this afternoon.

Blod: I hate to admit it, but that is the best idea.

When Tom was freed of watch duty that evening, he went to see Gudrun in the healing tent. Eustache was busy eating cheese one-handed in the shelter.

Tom: Gudrun, I noticed you didn't vote for Eirik last night and I'm sorry about how Blod is behaving. I did have a word with her but she won't take it from me.

Gudrun: Do you have any idea what you've done?

Tom: Installed a more popular leader?

Gudrun: You've done more than that, idiot! Eirik doesn't have what it takes to be leader. He's not committed, he hates the idea. Picking up the slack are you and that wannabe queen. You're at luggerheads already, on day two! Not to mention Eustache has the tip of a blade with your name on it.

Tom: He's going to have to be quick if he wants to kill or severely injure me before I have the chance to shoot him again.

Gudrun: That's just it. The guano, crystals, pyrite and sulphur are running out. Nobody's fetching them anymore.

Tom: Can't Granni's group fetch those for us once the foraging stops?

Gudrun: Who's going to protect them?

Tom: Their own men?

Gudrun: Foolish boy! They were nearly wiped out from Björn's retaliatory attack!

Tom: Jannick's men?

Gudrun: Then who will man the plateau's towers?

Tom: Don't they have enough for both?

Gudrun: No. 6 men in the day, 6 in the night, 2 for their own camp's towers day and night...come on, boy! I thought you were good with numbers!

Tom: Good point. What about new allies?

Gudrun: The only ones nearby are Harald and Ingrid. You remember how that went, surely?

Tom: Can't Moira and Kari talk them round.

Gudrun: Maybe. But you'll need to be quick. If we run out of black powder ingredients and Björn gets into our camp again, we're screwed. Hel, if Gwen *twitches* gets into our camp again, we're screwed.

Tom: Okay, so can you release Moira for that sometime this week?

Gudrun: Tomorrow. It can't wait.

Tom: Great.

Gudrun: You're not out of the woods yet. What about a new leader?

Tom: Who would you recommend?

Gudrun: I really like Knut while we're at war but I think Moira and Cissé should take this island forward after the Björn era.

Tom: I have an idea. Do you know anything about the Roman Empire?

Gudrun: Didn't they rule Southern Europe with an iron fist a few centuries ago?

Tom: Yes, those. Do you know anything about their machinery of government?

Gudrun: Nope.

Tom: They had a senate, which is similar to a Norse village or town court (so that would be all of us), led by two consuls. I suppose we could think of them as two peace-time Jarls who share power equally. They and the senate during war time would elect a dictator, who would make war decisions alone on the fly and, in our case, lead troops into battle and have the final say in battle preparations.

Gudrun: Hmm...yes, that could work. Who do you have in mind?

Tom: Cissé and I could be consuls until Moira finishes her training, then she would take my place. I recommend Knut be our dictator and remain head of defence but Kari should be our attack general. Again, power sharing.

Gudrun: No influence from that haughty bossy fat bitch. I like it! You're on, mister!

In the towers...

Cissé: Did you hear about that row this morning?

Eirik: Yeah. Blod really doesn't like Gudrun for some reason.

Cissé: Can you fix it?

Eirik: I'm not sure I can. The only person Blod listens to is Blod. Same with Gudrun.

Cissé: That's not true, actually. She says she consults Freyja sometimes. And she listens to Tom.

Eirik: That's not quite right, either. Gudrun does with Tom what she does with all of us - she accelerates our thought process so that we can solve our problems earlier. She leads from the back. She's very good at it.

Cissé: Do you think you could continue as leader?

Eirik: No. Do you have any ideas?

Cissé: Tom. He has lots of good ideas and a tactical mind. But it's not enough. He doesn't have popular support. The girls and Blod hate him.

Eirik: Leave the girls to me. Moira might be able to talk Blod round.

Cissé: But all this isn't enough. He's out of his depth here. He lacks serenity and experience.

Eirik: Which a good friend of mine has in abundance!

Cissé: Me? Well...okay. But what about Eustache?

Eirik: He's still seething. If we had someone to replace him, we could boot him out. Alas, we still need him.

Cissé: A problem, to be sure, to be sure!

**Day 153**

To a wildly applauding crowd, they walked on to the stage. There must have been 40-60,000 people. The sound rig took centre ground. There were loads of hyper teenagers at the front, ready to form pits and in general go more mental than everyone else. There were gorgeous girls on shoulders and a few more were going up. The atmosphere was amazing. Tom plugged his Explorer in, waved and smiled at a few choice girls near the front, who promptly flashed. He hoped a few would meet him backstage later.

Knut fiddled with his tuning on his bass, Kari got herself seated at her drumkit. Eirik strode out to the mic. He gulped. Cissé appeared beside him.

Cissé: You can do this, man.

Cissé then went backstage. Kari started to count them in, then they were playing. Kari be Tom blasted out some fast palm muting of the low E string and some punchy, moody power chords (the kind that make you feel either invigorated or aggravated, determined by whether you like Metal or not). Knut then started picking the very solid and lead-from-the-back-commanding bassline. And then the start of the first verse.

It should have been a wail from Eirik. He missed his cue, so Knut roared at the start of the next bar. They had rehearsed this. Knut and Tom began to sing, two octaves apart. There were two bars of instrumental between verse and chorus.

Kari: Come on, Dad...

Eirik managed so sing the first two lines of the chorus, then spent the rest of the chorus headbanging, his hair a blur. Once again, Tom and Knut picked up the slack.

When it came to the solo...would Eustache come out with his Flying V? Would Blod come out with her keytar? Nope. It was down to Tom. They'd let them down. Now he was about to let them down.

Tom stepped forward, improvised a weak slow solo, mistiming his picking and his fretting. The bends were weak. The pull-offs were inaudible. The notes were not going well together. The crowd was getting impatient. Maybe he should just stick to minor pentatonic?

Then, overhead in the sound booth, Tom could see Björn, flanked by Loki and Thor, unplugging the rig flamboyantly, with a triumphant grin on his face. His laugh rang loud and clear over the PA. That was it. They were finished.

Tom woke with a start. So did Kari.

Kari: Tom, what was that?

Tom: If you had the same dream as me, a Rock festival! The most popular bard groups perform to anything up to 200,000 people in my time.

Kari: Wow! The atmosphere and music were amazing!

Tom: Heheh. You, your mum and Shanaw would look fab in Gothic make-up and clothing.

Kari: I'll ignore that. Are you worried about Dad too?

Tom: Yes.

Kari: What was that bit at the end when you couldn't play?

Tom: It's called a guitar solo. It requires different techniques on the instrument than I am used to.

Kari: So I heard! But what does it mean?

Tom: It means I need to ensure I don't allow myself to get sucked into doing something I can't do. I need to get someone else to do it who is capable.

Kari: Like Dad?

Tom: Yes. I'm sorry. It was an experiment that hasn't worked.

Kari: What now?

Tom: Cissé and I need to come up with something. Fast.

Tom felt he was always on watch duty.

Tom: Yaghoub, how is the tower building on the plateau going?

Yaghoub: Well enough. We're on our third. Halfway through.

Tom: You don't seem terribly happy.

Yaghoub: Well, it's just that all I have done since I joined this camp is gather up poop and mix and lay bricks. I'm used to buying and selling fine wares.

Tom: Such is what we need to focus on at the moment. I'm mostly stuck on watch duty, occasionally helping build the other towers. Once we've beaten the Heodenings Curse and Björn has been overthrown, we can grow not just as a community but also as individual people. These alliances we've built - we will need to trade. You could be at the forefront of that.

Yaghoub: You know, effendi, you could be on to something. All we need to do is do those two things you mentioned. Just little things.

Tom: I hear your sarcastic scepticism and I raise you two cunning plans.

Yaghoub: How soon can we put them into action?

Tom: Once we have another ally and after that, once we have more niter and sulphur. We also need more orichalcum beads.

Yaghoub: Why can't we do it now?

Tom: Because we need plenty of ammo for our guns and we need more info from the island's guardians.

Yaghoub: So between now and the golden age, what am I going to do?

Tom: There will be opportunities to gather sulphur and grow crops. Don't forget about making rope, fabric, armour and weapons.

Yaghoub: Effendi, I'm wasted here.

Tom: We'll have our two little problems wrapped up within a fortnight, I promise.

Yaghoub: Hang on a minute! Is this your attempt to curry my favour so you can be leader?

Tom: Sort of. It's a little more complicated than that. But yes, I'm looking for your support.

Later...

Eirik: I've decided. I'm not comfortable being leader.

Blod: Who do you suggest replaces you?

Eirik: Brace yourself, love.

Blod: *face in hands* Don't tell me it's Eustache or Tom...

Eirik: Shanaw.

Blod: This isn't funny!

Eirik: Tom, supported by Cissé. They will likely be propped up by Gudrun and Moira.

Blod: How are we going to beat Björn with those jokers who know nothing about warfare?

Eirik: To be fair, Tom seems to know a lot about warfare and tactics. We would likely be dead by now if it weren't for ballistatowers, guns, toilets and the alliance.

Blod: I must admit, you've got me there, but I'm still not happy. Nor will the other women in camp.

Eirik: Kari will work on battle plans a lot more with Knut. They are the key to beating Björn.

Blod: Okay, I'm happy with Knut giving Kari a leg up. Maybe she'll live a little longer. What's that?

Eirik: It's the gong.

Outside...

Shanaw: Plateau! I hear gong on plateau!

Thankfully there were already two of Jannick's men on the scene, plus the builders.

Knut: It's a standoff. They're out of range and trying to sneak round. By Thor, I wish we had more towers built! But then, that was their plan - to catch us with our trousers down!

Blod: Where do you want us?

That evening...

Eirik: ...So does anyone have any questions about the leadership structure Tom proposed?

Eustache: What if they disagree with each other?

Eirik: Council vote. Anyone not on board with this?

Eustache was the only one to stick his hand up. Well, not one. He stuck his other hand up next to someone else in the hope it would be counted twice.

Eirik: I propose (and they have agreed to stand) for the roles of consul - Cissé and Tom.

Some hands went up straight away. Shanaw's went up as soon as Kari's did. Blod's was the last to go up. Eustache's didn't go up at all.

Eirik: For the role of dictator, I propose Knut!

Everyone's hands went up straight away.

Eirik: Knut, Blod and I would be very grateful if you could take on Kari as an apprentice.

Kari: Really? Wow! Thank you so much!

Eirik: I think Tom would like to say a few words.

Tom: I noticed some of you were reluctant to choose me as consul. I will caretake the position until Moira has finished her völva training. Does that pacify some of you at all?

Shanaw: Medicine woman cool!

Blod: I'd certainly prefer Moira to take the position now.

Moira: Tom is right. I need to finish my training first.

Blod: So what are we doing once the towers are finished?

Tom: Back to collecting beads. I think Moira should take the lead on that. We need six more.

Later that night...

Loki: Do you know how late it is?

Tom: Sorry to disturb. I'm having trouble sleeping and I think one of those fire crystals could be really soothing, like a lava lamp.

Loki: A what?

Tom: Never mind. Is it two beads you want?

Loki: Yes, two beads. Actually, I'm glad you dropped by. Would you mind taking this box to Thor for me?


	21. Chapter 21

**Day 154**

Knut was having what he considered to be a jolly stroll through the forest, smashing skulls as he went.

Knut: *singing* I was born to be a migh-ty warrior...

This continued until he crossed paths with Björn.

Björn: It is a good day to die!

Knut: For whom?

Warhammer met battleaxe with deadly force, fire in the eyes of the competitors.

Knut woke with a bloodthirsty grin on his face.

Solveig: Good dream, my love?

Knut: You could say that.

Before everyone left the shelter...

Tom: Everyone, take a look at this box Loki gave me to deliver to Thor!

Blod: What is it?

Blod made her way to the box to open it. Tom was alarmed.

Tom: Don't!

Blod: Why not?

Tom: I have reason to believe it kills whoever opens it and possibly anyone within a certain radius.

Blod: That's ridiculous! What are you basing that on?

Tom: He was muttering something about who would be laughing then when I approached. It sounded...evil, final. Loki is the ultimate trickster, as you know. Whatever badass thing he has to turn the tables on Thor, he does not want Thor to have the chance to retaliate. You've seen what he does to trolls. Some of you have seen what happened to Loki when Björn beat him up. Loki knows full well what Thor is capable of. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that this is an assassin's device, powered by orichalcum.

Blod: Why did you bring something that destructive back here?

Tom: Because we need three of them, one for each of the three guardians. I believe we will have it confirmed by Freyja that they have no intention of bringing the Heodenings to an end, so we must bring an end to them.

Blod: Couldn't you have delivered it to Thor right there and then?

Tom: No because then Loki wouldn't give us any more.

Tomoe: How do we convince him to give us more of those things?

Tom: In a few days, he will think I opened it and killed myself in doing so. He will be more desperate and want to give to someone else. A few days after that, the same.

Moira: There's a flaw in your plan. He won't take back his own box!

Tom: Oh yes, he will! I have a cunning plan!

Cissé: Our more immediate concern is today's focus.

Tom: Cissé, do you think we should redouble our efforts to finish the towers on the plateau?

Cissé: Yes.

Tom: Before we go... Moira and Kari, how did you get on with Ingrid yesterday morning?

Moira: We're not there yet but... we've made some progress.

Tom: That sounded rather condensed. Care to expand?

Moira: No I don't! Okay?

Tom: Kari?

Kari: There's nothing else to say.

Cissé: Let's go!

In the towers that morning...

Shanaw: Need Shanaw be worried?

Kari: No.

Shanaw: Good.

Inside, Shanaw's heart was breaking.

After that day's völva training...

Moira: Can I tell you something? I need to get it off my chest.

Gudrun: You slept with Ingrid, didn't you?

Moira: Yes. What do I tell Tom? How will everyone else react?

Gudrun: How do you think Tom will take it?

Moira: Something tells me he is used to this sort of thing and will just take it.

Gudrun: Did it do any good, do you think?

Moira: Hard to tell. I hope it wasn't merely a double seduction exercise.

Gudrun: Double?

Moira: I've said too much.

In the towers that afternoon...

Tom: What do you think happened with Ingrid?

Cissé: I think Ingrid is a very clever warrior and capable of the highest levels of manipulation.

Tom: So it did touch a nerve, she wasn't just angry because I was pressing her?

Cissé: She looked very guilty, Tom. She snapped because she didn't want to admit something, particularly to you.

Tom: Giving away camp information, striking a bargain that will leave us at a significant disadvantage or we can't meet...

Cissé: I think it's a lot more personal than that. You watch tonight. She will mainly talk to her sister and Solveig. She will avoid you.

Tom: If she does, are we talking handing me over for punishment or a bargaining chip with Bjorn?

Cissé: Tom, I can tell by the look on your face that this is not lost on you.

Tom: Do you think she cheated on me?

Cissé: Yes. Do you want to hear a story?

Tom: It wouldn't do any harm. Go on, then. *sighs*

That evening...

Tom: Gudrun, could I talk to you in private?

Moira stopped talking to Blod and turned around, with a frightened look on her face.

Gudrun: Yes. But be aware that we are being watched.

They left the shelter and went in the healing tent.

Gudrun: I know what you're here about and I can't talk to you about it.

Tom: Not even...no, I guess that would break her confidence. I want to know if she takes our relationship seriously.

Gudrun: Do YOU take your relationship seriously? Your wandering isn't as active as it was but it's not dormant!

Tom: Yes, I do (I'm not Eustache). I can't even offer her a three-way because Ingrid isn't into men.

Gudrun: Would that be for your own sake or to save the relationship?

Tom: Both.

Gudrun: You're honest, I'll give you that. This will work itself out, lad.

Tom: Thanks.

Gudrun stayed put. Tom went back to the shelter and, sure enough, Moira came out. Neither said a word to each other as they passed.

Moira: You didn't tell him, did you?

Gudrun: I didn't need to. That boy needs you to talk to him. Now.

With a heavy heart, Moira went back to the shelter.

Moira: Tom, I need to-

Tom: Coming.

They walked to the headland overlooking the sea.

Moira: I'm sorry.

Tom: I understand, believe it or not. You're bi. You can't live your life fulfilling only one half. It doesn't work.

Moira: Thanks.

Tom: Of course I would like to know if she's as hot as I thought she would be-

Moira: Wow! Your really are obsessed, aren't you?

Tom: I hoped you'd laugh. It would break the tension. But what I really must know is do you still want us?

Moira: I don't know what I want. I agree we have a thing going but I've made no commitments.

Tom: If that's the case, your reaction this morning was cagey and overdramatic over nothing.

Moira: Okay, you've got me there. I'm not committed but I also don't want to hurt your feelings.

Tom: *sighs* It was inevitable.

Moira: Tom, I needed you to be angry, not a pushover.

Tom: What would that achieve?

Moira: I would have seen some of that fiery passion you unleashed a few days ago. Has it gone out already?

Tom: Sorry. How about we try this scene one more time?

Moira: *sighs* Forget it.

She stormed off back into the shelter.

Tom stared out into the sunset. Those things were supposed to be romantic as well as beautiful. What had just happened was far from either of those things.

Shanaw: Kari hurt Shanaw too.

They both cried together. Tom tried to stem the flow of tears streaming down Shanaw's cheek.

Tom: Hug?

Shanaw gratefully accepted the invitation.

Then, without thinking, Tom kissed Shanaw's forehead.

Shanaw: *shocked* Tom! Kisses on forehead mean good intentions in Shanaw's culture. Caring, nurturing, loving.

Tom: That's how I mean it.

Shanaw then looked at Tom in a very different way. He recognised it but erred on the side of caution.

He hugged her again but this time thoughtlessly kissed her collarbone.

Shanaw: You can ask me.

Tom: Do you want to?

Shanaw kissed Tom on the lips passionately. Tom didn't pull away. Instead, he caressed her shoulders and back.


	22. Chapter 22

**Day 155**

Shanaw: Kari, don't do it!

Kari was charging after Tom, huffing, puffing and grunting with rage. Tom tripped and fell. Kari was on top of him, beating him to death.

Shanaw: NOOOOOOO!

They both woke with a start. Both had heavy breathing.

Tom: Did...you have the same dream...about Kari?

Shanaw nodded.

Tom: That could easily become a reality.

Shanaw: Shanaw know. Must stop baby Kari from turning into murderer Kari.

Tom: There are only three ways to do that and you won't like any of them. I don't like any of them either.

Shanaw: Go on.

Tom: You break it off with Kari, then we officially get together later.

Shanaw: Hmm. Second?

Tom: We forget last night ever happened.

Shanaw: Shanaw not forget. Third?

Tom: Kari dies - at my hands, at your hands, in battle, from an animal attack, fall off cliff, drown, illness/disease...

Shanaw: NO!

Tom: I agree. Third is not a considerable option.

Shanaw: So what do we do?

Tom: How do you feel?

Shanaw: Shanaw feel...confused and conflicted. Shanaw still love Kari but not trust her. Shanaw also like Tom. How Tom feel?

Tom: I'm fed up with jumping through hoops for Moira. Last night, she wanted me to do and say things to appease her, even though I hadn't done anything wrong. We both needed a cuddle and some affection last night. I really like you and I hope this isn't the last time we are close but I understand if you want to try again with Kari.

Shanaw: What can Tom offer Shanaw?

Tom: Proof that not all men are entitled, self-serving pigs. Some of us do take consent very seriously. You matter, but you already know that.

Shanaw: This what Shanaw like about Tom. Tom cares.

Tom: Thanks. You'd better move before they come out. Moira knew I was here, so I can stay here but nobody knows you were here. You probably smell of me, so I suggest you bathe in the lake and come back. I'll go for a swim this morning in the sea.

Shanaw: Shanaw like plan.

With that, she was off. Not too soon, as people started to file out of the shelter.

Eirik: You could have come back inside. It must have been chilly out here!

Tom: I was tired enough to fall asleep without noticing. I felt very stiff, sore and cold when I woke up, though!

Eirik: I suggest you have a swim this morning. It will get your circulation going again. We're not expecting any attacks. Have you seen Shanaw?

Tom: She went that way. *points*

Tom saw Blod and Eirik head off in the direction he had pointed. Cissé was on watch duty again. Gudrun and Moira went off for more völva training. Solveig went to the sheep and everyone else headed in the direction of the plateau.

Tom wasted no time and went for a swim, clothes still on. Once done, he stripped, rolled on the grass to get dry and washed his clothes. This was a most curious spectacle for Cissé. Once he had dried his clothes enough, Tom put them back on and went up the other tower. They could see Erik and Blod coming back to fetch fishing rods. Eirik then made his way to the plateau.

Cissé: Feeling refreshed?

Tom: Yes, thanks. So have there been any developments?

Cissé: We're getting desperate for black powder, so Moira is going to visit Loki sometime this morning.

Tom: He can do what he wants with her.

Cissé ignored the bitter attack on Moira.

Cissé: We think the towers will be finished by tomorrow evening.

Tom: That's good. Any word from Leif?

Cissé: No. I think we should pay him a visit in two days.

Tom: I can see the demand for stone dropping once the towers are finished. Maybe Olaf will agree to mining sulphur and niter instead.

Cissé: What happened to keeping the guns a secret? The one of the agreements in the alliance is to spread our resources and technologies. If they find we've been holding something back, it will create tension. We have enough of that in camp at the moment.

Tom: Tell me about it! Agreed, we have to appease them and hope there aren't any incidents.

Cissé: Arm them? Are you joking?

Tom: Nope, deadly serious. I would go one further and say Knut teaches them how to make bullets and gun casings. Moira will have her hands full but we can use that to our advantage in trade.

Cissé: Can we avoid this?

Tom: Bearing in mind our final assault on Björn's camp involves guns and the support of our neighbours, no, we can't. We need to assume the talks with Ingrid and Harald will fail.

Ingrid appeared.

Ingrid: My ears are burning!

Tom: You! I never thought I'd be thanking you. You've opened my eyes.

Ingrid: It was my...pleasure to be of service. Heheh. So I hear both of you are the leader now. What are you doing, hidden away atop weaponised towers like cowards?

Tom: -

Cissé: Tom, don't answer that. Lady Ingrid, may I?

Moira does drop in to see Loki that morning...

Moira: Do you have any sulphur?

Loki: Nobody has asked me for that before. Nope.

Moira: Pyrite?

Loki: Again, nobody has asked for it. I have had some from time to time to give people instead of gold or swapped it out when they weren't looking. Hehe. I don't have any right now.

Moira: Niter?

Loki: What do I look like, an alchemist? No.

Moira: Guano?

Loki: No but if you stick around long enough, I can produce some.

Moira: We can use our own if it comes to that. No, thank you.

Loki: What do you need it for, anyway?

Moira: To make gunpowder.

Loki: I don't have any of that either. Sorry.

Moira: Thanks for nothing. I'll be on my way.

Loki: Not so fast! I could get some of these items for you IF you deliver this box to Thor for me. The last one must have got lost. I don't think the carrier was the brightest.

Moira: I'll think about it. *takes the box*

Once Ingrid had gone...

Cissé: I don't think she has any intention of joining our cause. She made a nuisance of herself again. She was trying to see if our camp was crumbling after the double betrayal she orchestrated.

Tom: Not yet, it hasn't. There's still time. I can't see Shanaw forgiving Kari anytime soon. They were a great couple and a good team.

Cissé: So what was all that about this morning?

Tom: I needed a wash and so did my clothes from sleeping rough. I didn't want to inflict my clothes on Solveig.

Cissé: I see.

At midday changeover, Blod started prepping the fish and Shanaw relieved Cissé, who went up to the plateau.

Shanaw and Tom shared a brief kiss but otherwise kept in their respective towers, lest Blod notice anything. They stole furtive glances at each other.

That evening...

Moira: We have...another box. Two down, one to go!

Cissé: Any luck on the black powder front?

Moira: No. He bluffed that he could acquire some ingredients.

Tom: Well, it's nice to be eating fish again! Thanks to Shanaw and Blod for bringing those home for us! Are we on schedule for a tomorrow evening finish for the towers on the plateau?

Knut: Yes.

Tom: After that, would it be possible for you to make new moulds for bullets and gun casings, please?

Knut: Of course but who are we giving them to?

Tom: Our allies because we need Olaf's men to fetch black powder ingredients for us. We can't keep this secret from them forever. Besides, I think it will help Leif come on board.

Cissé looked concerned as the whispers went around.

**Day 156**

Blod made her way back from the toilet to a completely silent shelter. Had everyone left? She decided to investigate.

Tom was dead, stabbed in the heart. Good riddance.

Eustache too. Still don't care.

Gudrun. Meh.

Yaghoub. Let's hope nobody else is dead.

Tomoe. Ohh dear.

Cissé. This is very bad.

Shanaw. Crap, crap, crap!

Knut and Solveig. HOLY SHIT!

Moira, Kari and Eirik...

Blod: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Blod woke, hypoventilating.

Nobody had objected when Tom suggested Shanaw go on watch duty with him again. She wasn't much of a builder and she needed space from Kari.

Once he was sure everyone was gone, he signalled to Shanaw and they reunited at ground level, enjoying one long hug out of Solveig's sight. After kissing for a while, they began to talk in hushed voices.

Tom: We still don't know each other that well.

Shanaw: What would Tom like to learn of Shanaw?

Tom: Your hopes and fears in life, your likes and dislikes, interests, what you hold dear, that sort of thing.

Shanaw: Shanaw hope life get easier. Shanaw scared of Eustache, Björn, Gwen and evil spirits. Shanaw like kind people who use their strength and knowledge for good of others. Shanaw not like selfish men like Eustache and people who think Shanaw stupid because she not talk properly. Shanaw like hunting, playing games, being daredevil, being independent and having hot passionate sex.

Tom: I can help you out with your speech if you would like, a little bit at a time.

Shanaw: Shanaw would like that. Tom's turn.

Tom: Um...I had hoped that I could return to my own time and all the home comforts that come with it but what we started two nights ago has been pure bliss for me. I really want to get to know you properly. I like kind people too. I also like women's beauty, as you know. If that has meant that I have come across like the purely self-serving and poorly manipulating Eustache, then I'm sorry. I don't like bullies or people who make it their life's mission to hurt others. Normally I don't like warmongers either but here with Björn, we don't have a choice. I don't like leaders who forget they were little people once, think they are better or more important than everyone else and get drunk on power. My main interests are music, science, history, travelling, learning about people & places and things that can only be found in my time. I ran a group in my time for other autistic adults where we listened to each other's problems and discussed our own, offering emotional support and practical advice. I also used to organise trips away to events where we met other autistic adults. In my time, that costs a lot of money. In fact, money is the main driving factor in my society, I'm sorry to say. Many of us have forgotten why we are here.

Shanaw: That very sad. Can't eat money. Money can't buy love or happiness. Money teaches nothing. Shanaw think here better.

Tom: All very true. I don't blame you. In my time, money can still buy loveless sex. It can also buy drugs. Some of these numb pain and some address chemical imbalances in the body and brain but need refining. Some, like beer and mead, allow you to escape and forget your troubles but only for a short time and people feel worse when the drugs wear off. Their lives are often so unhappy that they seek these drugs all the time to lessen the time they feel sad and see their life for what it is. People lose their health, their jobs, their homes and sometimes their friends and family because of drugs. It's a big problem in the time I come from. So is girls like you being trafficked in the sex trade.

Shanaw: If Tom goes back to own time, Shanaw no come with him.

Tom: You are very wise. We should get back into the towers before anyone comes back for the midday changeover.

Shanaw grabbed his arm and looked at him in a way Tom knew meant she wanted another kiss first. He willingly obliged.

Only Cissé came back.

Cissé: Shanaw, please clean the shelter. I need to talk to Tom for a while.

Shanaw looked pissed off. Tom tried to give her a sorry look but he didn't know if he got it right.

Cissé: I have grave concerns about this plan of yours to arm our allies with guns.

Tom: Go on.

Cissé: I think we can trust Olaf, Granni and Leif but not Jannick. Did you notice that they didn't get attacked upon joining like the other two camps? Did you notice that the resource parties escorted by them have been left completely alone?

Tom: Shit! What do you think they/Björn are up to?

Cissé: Do you remember Elof trying to work out what our guns were and what went into them? Björn would badly like to get his hands on the guns and/or the technology/ingredients because it would turn the tide back in his favour.

Tom: In that case, I suggest we get the ingredients ourselves and provide our own escort. We can have Jannick's men man the plateau towers, as per the original plan.

Cissé: Don't you think they would turn on those farming there and wave enemy forces through?

Tom: Not to begin with. Once they've done that, they've blown their cover. They would offer to escort the sulphur/niter party to find out what we're up to. After a few days, they will likely turn on us, yes.

Cissé: Then we don't have much time. We must convince another tribe or two to join us.

Tom: Any ideas? You're good at this diplomacy thing.

Cissé: Hmm...Ragnar...no, too violent and bloodthirsty...Jürgen and Johan might...yes...

Tom: Go on, then! Like you said, we don't have much time! By all means, get Eirik as well if you feel you need him. See you later. I'll get Shanaw back.

As Cissé left, Tom went to see Shanaw.

Tom: Cissé's gone to try to get some more allies. Need any help here?

Shanaw: Fuck this cleaning!

Tom: Do you want to come back to the towers?

Shanaw: No. Sex.

Tom was only too happy to oblige.

At what Tom felt was about 4pm, he halted the proceedings and said the others might come back early if they finish the towers early. Shanaw was not happy but she did as she was bid.

It turned out Tom was right. Not ten minutes were they back in the towers, the building team filed back into camp.

When Cissé and Eirik came back...

Cissé: Tom, we need a word.

Once Blod had been prised away from Solveig by Eirik, she grumpily took Tom's place in the tower. The three went to the forge, where they found Knut making rope.

Eirik: Both Jürgen and Johan are amenable but we do not have the goods. The only things we have plenty of are cheese and wool, but these are going down fast.

Tom: How much do we get of each commodity on each outing?

Eirik: We get 28-35 wood, of which 8 goes to Olaf, 5 to Granni, 8 to Leif and 8 to Jannick, leaving us with a net gain of 1-6. Ideally, we should be going every day, which I think we can almost do now.

Cissé: Olaf's men bring us 5 stone and 2 iron every 3 days and Granni's men bring us 5 fruit, 5 healing herbs, 20 hemp and 10 seeds every 3 days.

Eirik: We also give out 5 cheese and 5 fabric every day to each camp in rotation. So you see, we cannot afford for our own resources or our neighbours' to get diluted any further. Something has to give.

Knut: Do they all have weaves?

Cissé: They don't but that can easily be rectified.

Knut: If they processed wool, that would save us some manpower.

Tom: Let's think about our manpower carefully. How many people are the towers short of each period?

Eirik: One in each.

Tom: Something tells me Leif will be too reluctant to put one of his own people in there. They seem a fragile lot. So let's say we have 4 going logging in the morning, the same 4 mining sulphur and fetching guano in the afternoon, Moira and Gudrun doing völva training, refining niter and/or healing all day, Blod and Solveig working the fields all day with Leif's lot, 3 of us manning towers morning, afternoon, evening and night... we'll have two spare for recovery, cooking, cleaning, crafting, building projects, etcetera. We can do this, so long as we don't always give the evening and night watches to the same people.

Eirik: So we can keep going until Jannick's lot turn on us. Then what?

Tom: That's when we replace Jannick's lot with Jürgen's or Johan's in the alliance. The resource spread will be exactly the same as now. I think we'll only have to do this for another fortnight maximum before we storm Björn's camp. Then we'll bury the guns and go back to two people fetching each resource and trade surplus on a barter system. There's no need for money on this island.

Cissé: Well done, Tom! That sounds like a good plan to me, with a clear end.

Tom: We should still arm Olaf's lot and Granni's lot. Hopefully we'll know about Johan and Jürgen once we've spent more time with them.

Eirik: I have no problem with that. Knut?

Knut: Nope. Cissé?

Cissé: Can we guarantee they will be responsible with them and not use them to settle petty quarrels?

Knut: That's their lookout if they do. They're not children.

Eirik: Look at us. We know how to use them but would much rather use our own more traditional weapons. I'm sure they'll feel the same.

Cissé: *sighs* All right.


	23. Chapter 23

**Day 157**

Tom and Eustache were fighting on board Eustache's old pirate ship.

Eustache: Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated!

Tom: With your breath, I'm sure they all sure they all suffocated!

Tom: I've met apes more polite than you!

Eustache: I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion!

Eustache: I got these two scars on my face in a mighty struggle!

Tom: I hope you've stopped picking your nose.

Tom: I hope you have a rowboat for a quick escape!

Eustache: Why? Do you want to borrow one?

Eustache: You can't match my witty repartée!

Tom: I could if you would use some breath spray!

Tom: When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified!

Eustache: At least MINE can be identified!

Eustache: My sword is famous all the way down the West European Coast!

Tom: Then you'd better stop waving it around like a feather duster!

Tom: -

As Richard Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries started playing in Tom's head, Blodeuwedd ropeswings from nowhere sideways across the ship and sends Eustache into the sea.

Tom: Thanks, Elaine! Erm...I mean Blod.

Blod: I didn't do it for you!

The song in Tom's head grew louder and more pronounce. She strides to the hold and unlocks it. Kari flies out, enraged and sword in hand.

Kari: You'll regret stealing my girlfriend!

Tom: Maybe you should have thought about that before you slept with Ingrid. And beside your aunt. Eww.

Kari: You'll bring her nothing but misery!

Tom: That's where you're wrong. She was very upset when she came crying to me. She's happy now. I won't let her down like you did.

Kari: You have some nerve!

Tom: Yup. Why don't you put that rage to good use by training with Knut to knock out our real enemy?

Kari: MY enemy is standing right here!

Tom: I'm sure we can work this out!

Kari: How? You stole my girlfriend!

Tom: Your dad leaves Eustache alone, despite what he did to your poor mum. Sure they still exchange the odd harsh word, but still.

Kari: My dad...don't bring him into this!

Tom: He even considered getting you and me together at one point!

Kari: Not funny!

Tom: Hadn't we better get Captain Pugwash out of the water?

Blod: Don't let him hear you say that.

Tom woke, disappointed that the sea breeze had left him. He began to hum the Ride of the Valkyries.

Tom: *whispers* Psst. Shanaw!

Shanaw: *grouchily* What?

Tom: *whispers* If you go on the logging team this morning, you will end up gathering bat and bird poo in the afternoon.

Shanaw: *whispers* Shanaw no poop scoop! Stay in tower.

Tom: *whispers* I hoped you'd say that.

In the camp towers...

Tom: First piece of advice - every time you say 'Shanaw' at or near the beginning of a sentence, exclamation or question, say 'I' instead. Every time 'Shanaw' is near the end of a sentence, exclamation or question, replace 'Shanaw' with 'me'.

Shanaw: Shanaw not understand.

Tom: Okay, as an example, you should have said "I not understand". It's still not quite right but it's a good start.

Shanaw: Okay, I understand.

Tom: Perfect! Now where is the shelter?

Shanaw: There! *points*

Tom: Or, put another way, it's behind...

Shanaw: Towers.

Tom: Who are in the towers?

Shanaw: Tom and Shanaw.

Tom: Yes. But instead of "the shelter is behind Tom and Shanaw", you can say "the shelter is behind Tom and me".

Shanaw: Why I and me different?

Tom: Because you say 'I' when it's about you. You say 'me' when it's about something else, like the shelter. Another example - I like eating a lot of cheese but eating a lot of cheese doesn't agree with me. I need to use the toilet. The toilet is not pleased to see me.

Shanaw laughed.

Shanaw: So I like to hunt but the animals are not pleased to see me?

Tom: Perfect! You're doing very well!

Shanaw: Teach me something else!

Tom: Okay. When you refer to the person you're speaking to, don't say their name if it's just the two of you. Say 'you'. This goes for at the beginning or the end.

Shanaw: I not understand.

Tom: Say something about me.

Shanaw: Tom patient teacher.

Tom: Now say "You are a patient teacher."

Shanaw: You are a patient teacher and Eustache hates you.

Tom: Perfect!

Shanaw: I learn enough for now. Hug and talk.

They made their way to between the wall and the towers.

Shanaw: Why you and I get on so well?

Tom: We are not that different, you and me. We both feel like we don't fit in here. We both have trouble communicating with other people sometimes. We are both underestimated by people a lot because of things we have not picked up in life at the same time as other people. We both prefer talking with only one person. We both don't like being in groups. We both value our independence and often prefer to be alone. We both have our interests and hobbies but fall behind the average in everything else. We both refuse to do things just because everybody else does them. We both find it hard to relax around and trust those who we live with and spend time with. We both don't like people touching us unless we are in control of the interaction. We both do odd things sometimes (odd to other people, I mean). We both often don't realise how much time is passing. I would go as far as to say you have autistic traits. You may even be mildly autistic.

Shanaw: What that mean?

Tom: Your brain is a lot like mine.

Shanaw: But you know what happened before, how the world works, music, future things... I know how to hunt, fish and explore...

Tom: That is true but you take the sheep up there. They all have sheep brains, but the old one has that strange twitch and that young one always knocks over its trough. Did you ever have identical twins where you grew up?

Shanaw: Yes. They look the same but they different people.

Tom: Exactly. They look the same, have the same mother and father, same age, same brain configuration, same upbringing, mostly same experiences but one could be a very outgoing person who likes trading while the other is a loner who likes animals. You see?

Shanaw: I think so. You and I have nearly same brain but grew up differently and have different abilities and interests, but are somehow the same?

Tom: Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. We'd better get back up there soon.

Shanaw: *pulls Tom closer* Do you and I have to? I wish you and I could tell others you and I together...

Tom: I wish for that too but Kari would kill me. Blod and Eirik would probably come after me too, possibly Knut and Solveig because you are still a teenager. I think I'm about fifteen years older than you, although because I'm so behind in many ways, it shouldn't matter. Back home, I'm expected to date girls aged 25-30 but they are often looking for more in a man than I can provide.

Shanaw: But you clever, nice, care about others, use your power to help others...

Tom: But that's not enough for women aged twenty-five years or older in the 21st century. They want someone who is capable of earning more money than the average, someone who can raise a family, provide security. Women under 25 mainly want a good-looking person who will respect them. Most women of any age want someone who has been through what they have been through.

Shanaw: But this not your time...

Tom: If you ask Blod or Solveig what they would look for in a man if they were single, they would say a kind, strong man who can do a respected job, raise a family and protect them. Blod and Solveig are about my age, believe it or not. So is Eustache. Tomoe, Knut and Eirik are slightly older. Moira and Yaghoub are in their early forties and Cissé is in his fifties, but I digress. They all treat me as someone younger than them because I think and act younger and went through rites of passage much later than them, if at all. It's exactly the same in my time.

Shanaw: But you have me now, so stop feeling sorry for yourself!

Tom: You're right. I'm sorry. I'm very happy with you. We'd better move.

They shared a kiss and went back up the towers.

This was just as well because the logging team then filed back into camp. Cissé was with them, with a cute self-satisfied grin on his face from having planted new saplings. He took 4 wood out of a sack.

Cissé: Shanaw, you're fairly strong and very quick on your feet. Please take this wood to our allies and bring back our share of the resources they have. If you get any trouble from our enemies, forget the resources and come back here.

Knut joined the away team and they went off toward the volcano. Cissé manned Shanaw's tower.

Cissé: Is everything okay here?

Tom: Yes. I've been giving Shanaw speech lessons.

Cissé: Well done. How is she doing?

Tom: First lesson today. We covered first and second person pronouns. She's doing very well. I think she'll breeze through third person pronouns but struggle with auxiliary verbs.

Cissé: That's good news. Let's hope we don't get any bad news this afternoon.

Tom: Yes, let's hope.

That evening...

Knut: They were watching us like ravens. There was no sign that they were going to attack but they clearly wanted to keep an eye on what we were up to.

Cissé: What would they have seen?

Knut: That we were mining a bright yellow soft stone and gathering poop.

Tom: Bugger. That's one cat out of the bag.

They looked at him quizzically.

Tom: Sorry, I meant that's one secret out in the open.

Cissé: So what can we do?

Knut: There's nothing we can do. Now they have their intel, they won't come back unless they want to raid.

Tom: So, plans for tomorrow...Moira has distilling to do, leaving Gudrun free. I suggest Gudrun and I go to Freyja with the beads we do have. If I'm right, we won't need more than 8. If I'm right, then Gudrun and I should be the ones to go.

Cissé: I'll go on watch duty with Shanaw. I might be able to work on her speech more.

Gudrun: I don't have long left.

Moira: How long, exactly?

Gudrun: A week, ten days most.

Moira was too stunned to speak.

Tom: Gudrun, could we have a word?

Moira: Oh, fine! You don't want me anymore but you'll take a dying old woman!

Tom: No hard feelings?

Moira: That you haven't spoken to me for days? No, none at all.

Cissé: Tom!

Tom: Coming!


	24. Chapter 24

**Day 158**

Tom was approaching a burial ceremony. The other members of the camp were there. The women were singing in unison, looking down into an open grave, everyone with shovels at the ready.

Women: You could've been all we wanted

But you weren't respectful

Now get in the ground

You brushed off the sorriest of favors

But if you really loved us

You would've endured our code

Well, you're just as we presumed

You're a whore in strange clothing

Now we've stopped taking off ours

You'll never again see us naked in your life

And as to the glory of your right hand

Here laid to rest is our love ever low

With truth on the shores of confession

Like Jesus, you played leader

We'll drill through your hands too

Never again shall you rise

Tom got to see the body just as the first few shovelfuls of earth went in. The body was his own!

Tom woke with a start.

Tom: *whispering to himself, rocking back and forth in mortal alarm* Just a dream. Words from a Coheed & Cambria song. Not a premonition...

Freyja had two visitors that morning...

Freyja: You're not who I expected to visit me. What happened to that womaniser pirate?

Tom: I overthrew him. Have you heard of the Roman Empire?

Freyja: Yes, child. What of it?

Tom: Cissé and I are consuls, Knut is dictator and general. Kari is Knut's protegé.

Freyja: Did nobody else want to be consul?

Tom: Moira did but she needs to finish her völva training first. We blocked Blodeuwedd. Why?

Freyja: Think nothing of it, child. Why have you come to see me?

Tom: We have two questions. Firstly, why are you and the other two guardians resurrecting people as per the Battle of the Heodenings poem on the field of Fólkvangr?

Freyja: How do you know about that?

Tom: The answer to that question will cost you four beads.

Freyja: *laughs condescendingly* I can work it out. The answer to YOUR question will cost you four beads.

Tom hands them over.

Frejya: Thank you, child. The poem to this island is like what a record is to a turntable for you. The island plays it over and over again until the next influx of inhabitants, which I believe to be when your people colonise what you call the New World. The last one was when the Romans were fleeing their collapsing Western Empire, before them the Phoenicians in what you call Classical Antiquity.

Tom: How does this 'record' get chosen, from what source and why?

Freyja: It gets selected by us guardians from a compendium of works from the applicable age. It's our entertainment. We even get to dress up for the occasion and give ourselves new names. In this era, I am Freyja, a Norn.

Tom: So this IS like a reality TV show for you!

Freyja: If you must use such a ghastly metaphor, yes.

Tom: Is there any chance we could get you to, in a manner of speaking, change the record? You said you have a veritable library for each era.

Freyja: That request will require four beads.

Tom handed them over.

Freyja: Behind my throne, you'll find a patch of grass a subtly different shade to the rest. Tap it with your foot and it should swing open. We keep all the tablets in there. The scrolls were fading and disintegrating.

Tom: Hadn't you guys come up with an equivalent of computers and backup devices?

Freyja: Oh, please! Those things are so archaic. They don't even last as long as paper!

Tom: True.

Tom opened the trap door and went inside. It was quite a vault!

Freyja: Keep your eyes within the 2,000 years ago and 1,000 years in the future range! Your people know nothing much of what happened before Sumer, Ancient Egypt and Mycenaean Greece!

Tom found the current era section. After he had rummaged a while, he found something familiar.

Tom: How about this one?

Freyja: Yes, this one would bring an end to your endless continuous reuses of bodies on this plane of existence.

Tom: You mean zombies?

Freyja: How crude. You saw Parvaneh. Did you ever suspect she were a zombie when you met her?

Tom: Good point. What do we need to do?

Freyja: You need a valkyrie.

Tom: We have Kari.

Freyja: No, not from Old English! From Norse. They would look like Christian angels to you, I suppose. They take souls from my afterlife field you no doubt saw and take them to Valhalla.

Tom: Where do we get one of those?

Freyja: You'll know when the time comes! Now shut that door and begone, child. Gudrun and I have things to discuss.

Back at camp at midday changeover...

Cissé: How did you get on?

Tom: A lot better than I had hoped! We don't have to kill them. Instead, we need to find a valkyrie.

Cissé: How do we go about-

Elof: Good day, my little ponies! Do you have the tribute Björn asked for?

Tom: Here you go.

Elof: Good, good! Now, in 7 days he wants 50...sulphur!

Tom: Why are we still playing this game? What possible penalty could there be for us if we don't pay it that doesn't involve you lot becoming worse off?

Elof: Watch your tongue or you will never want to leave your camp again! If you don't pay, we will place a score of guards in wait just beyond your plateau so you can't leave without a fight, which you will lose.

Tom: What's to stop you from doing that now?

Elof: That's a Hel of a manpower divert when you could just pay up, then everybody wins.

Tom: Fine! You'll get your 50 sulphur.

Elof: What about my share?

Tom: What on Earth would you do with sulphur?

Elof: Erm...you've got me there. ten tasty balanced meals for my share, then. Buh-bye, my little ponies!

Once Elof had gone, Tom kicked a large pebble in frustration and stubbed his toe in the process.

Tom: Drat! Owwww! *starts hopping* Knut, how many units of sulphur do you think you can get per outing, on average?

Knut: If two of us are mining, 3-7. If three of us are mining, 6-10.

Tom: Do any of our neighbours know about the guns yet?

Cissé: No.

Tom: We'll have to keep it that way and hope Jannick's men don't show their true colours just yet. We are up against it for the deadline. One hard fight, injury by other means, sickness, two poor yields in a row...we're done for.

Cissé: We'll get there. We have to.

Tom: And then there's the ten good meals! What a wicked waste of good food, unless he has a refridgerator at his place!

Knut: A what?

Tom: A cupboard-like device powered by stored lightning and/or bottles of gas that keeps food cold.

Eirik: He doesn't. He does have a cellar, though. Plagued with pests, mind you.

Tom: How is he still alive?

Eirik: He only keeps bottles and flagons down there.

Tom: Oh. Well, even if he eats 5 meals a day, it's still a wicked waste!

Knut: Enough. We have to move. Now.

Tom: Eirik, before you go, is the chicken coop finished?

Eirik: Yes. Good idea. Take it down to Solveig.

Knut: Eirik-

Eirik: Coming!

Tom asked Shanaw to help him carry the coop, for obvious reasons.

Tom: Our opportunities for quality time together are getting less and less.

Shanaw: I know. But what can we do?

Tom: We might be able to get some time to ourselves in the shelter when all the farming has gone up to the plateau, Moira's not distilling, nobody is cooking and nobody's at the forge.

Shanaw: How long will that take? How often?

Tom: A few days. Not often. Don't forget it's not just moulds, bullets and guns. It's rope, wool, arrows, weapon repair and ballista bolts as well.

Shanaw: I can't wait that long. Can't we sneak away in evening when it dry?

Tom: I think so.

Shanaw: Tonight?

Tom: I was hoping you'd suggest that.

That evening, the unlikely couple were not the only ones to venture out. Eustache had found Elof's secret stash and was exploiting what he could.


	25. Chapter 25

**Day 159**

Tomoe dreamt about her samurai mentor and the relationship they shared.

When Tomoe was awake...

Tomoe: Lady Blodeuwedd, Lord Eirik, may I ask something of you, in private? It's about Kari.

Blod & Eirik: Of course.

Once they were alone and could not be overheard...

Tomoe: When I was young and trained in matters of war, my mentor and I shared a special bond, something I then nurtured with another woman once I was trained and married. I think Kari could benefit from the same experience.

Eirik: What does it involve?

Tomoe: In addition to passing on the disciplines of the sword and of developing character, it involves sexual activity to enhance the bond between mentor and mentee and gives the mentee the opportunity to give something back in exchange to the time and effort the mentor puts in.

Eirik: Uhh-

Blod: Thank you for coming to us first. Such a thing may work in your culture but we have nothing like it in Norse culture. I would personally be against it.

Eirik: Blod, Kari isn't a little girl anymore. We might not see the value in it but it obviously works for the Japanese warrior class, so I think Kari should have the choice.

Blod: *growls* Fine! Just don't hurt her or push her into anything sexual she isn't comfortable doing.

Tomoe: Thank you. You have my word that she will be treated with due consideration and respect.

During midday task changeover...

Kari: No. Fucking. Way!

Tomoe: I am disappointed to hear that. I was going to teach you how to handle a sword as well as some new moves that may impress Shanaw when she comes around.

Kari: Wait, what? I...guess I could learn... But if I say no, you will listen, do you hear?

Tomoe: *smiles* Loud and clear.

Tom: Solveig, can we take your plant trays up to the plateau?

Solveig: Yes, dear, but be careful. You will need three of you.

That evening...

Tom: *taps his tankard with a piece of cutlery* Everyone! Over the next two days during the midday changeover, we'll be moving the sheep pens up to the plateau. I would appreciate it if everyone could help with this, both carrying the wood and herding the sheep. Are we going to leave the spot empty? I hear you ask. Knut and Eirik will set up a combat training ground there. We all need to skill up over the next few evenings if we are to beat Björn. That is all.

Kari: Dad, could I borrow your sword this evening?

Eirik: Of course!

Blod: Be careful out there. Come back in or scream at the first sign of troub-

Eirik: Blod! We trust her.

Blod: Do we?

**Day 160**

Tom was at an Iron Maiden concert. Up on the big screens, he could see the camp members and their allies marching towards Björn's camp. He knew this was instead of the Light Brigade and what was coming.

B. Dickinson: Into the Valley of Death

Rode the Six Hundred

Cannons to the left of them

Cannons to the right of them

Cannons in front of them

Volleyed and thundered

THE TROOPER!

Tom woke up.

Tom: *to self* It's going to be a bloodbath. Someone's going to mess up with preparations and/or execution. Oh, shit...

Elsewhere in the shelter first thing that morning...

Tomoe: Moira, may I speak with you?

Moira: Of course! What is on your mind?

Tomoe: Kari has some surprisingly good moves in the bedroom (she's too quick to act with the sword) and I don't think I can keep up with her.

Moira: Taken on too much?

Tomoe: I'm hoping you will agree to teach me some moves I can pass down.

Moira looked shocked for a moment, then a creepy smile appeared on her face.

Moira: You want me to indirectly teach bedroom moves to my niece? What a perverse idea! I accept!

Tom: I've been meaning to ask...

Gudrun: What my sexual preferences are?

Tom: *shudders* Not funny!

Gudrun shrugged.

Tom: How are we going to find a valkyrie?

Gudrun: I know where. Leave it to me. You'll have your valkyrie in a few days.

Tom: That's a relief. Thank you. We can't spare anyone at the moment.

Tom walks away.

Gudrun: Ignorance is bliss.

In the towers that morning...

Tom: I promise not to touch your boobs for a few days.

Shanaw: Bloody time of month coming. Two days, I think.

Tom: I wish I could help. You know where the cloth and willow bark are.

Shanaw: Yes. We can still hug and kiss.

Tom: I would like that.

Shanaw: When my boobs are small again, you'll know it's time.

Tomoe: You two, may I have a word?

Shanaw: Scary sheep woman knows about us!

Tom: Shit!

Tomoe: I have heard you over the past week or so. It's very sweet.

Tom: You have? You don't think it wrong?

Tomoe: There are lots of age gap relationships where I come from. We think they have mentor-mentee value.

Tom: Phew.

Tomoe: Not so fast. Keeping it a secret from everyone is not honorable.

Tom: But they will all disapprove! Kari will kill me!

Tomoe: Then you need to learn to explain yourself and stand your ground with the others. They will come around in time. As for Kari, as her mentor, I can tell you she has weaknesses.

Tom: I'm a coward and no fighter. You know that. I couldn't even shoot her. She's not an enemy.

Tomoe: You shot Eustache.

Tom: That was different. I (miraculously) had time to think. I won't get that with Kari. Besides, nobody was going to jump to Eustache's aid. Blod and Eirik would be on me very quickly if I harmed their daughter.

Tomoe: They will not intervene if you tire Kari out and disable her without harming her.

Tom: I can't do that! I'm too slow, weak and panicky.

Tomoe: You need to find a way.

Tom: Why do I need to?

Tomoe: Because she will find out, sooner or later. Deep down, you know this. It is best to be in control of the situation rather than let the situation find you.

Tom: That's true. Can you teach me how to dodge and disable?

Tomoe: You don't need me for that. Channel your panic into something constructive when the time comes.

Tomoe then walked away, back to her sheep, turning around briefly.

Tomoe: In order to preserve my own honour, I will tell Blod and Eirik in a week if you don't!

Tom gulped.

That evening...

Knut: The training ground will be set up tomorrow. I expect everyone to get some training in. Even you, Tom! Tom? Where is he?

Everyone looked round.

Cissé: Shanaw is missing too. Do you think...?

Kari: *laughs very hard* No way! Shanaw's only into women. Besides, who would go for THAT? *continues to laugh*

Moira: Your aunt, for one!

Kari: But you go for everyone, Aunt Moira.

Moira: Not quite true but I get the point.

Everyone laughed except for Cissé and Tomoe. Both caught each other's gaze. She nodded. Cissé looked concerned.


	26. Chapter 26

**Day 161**

Shanaw was in a wedding ceremony - hers. Next to her was Tom, shirtless and inked up with ochre. She could hear her full name, Shanawdithit, being spoken. It all felt so surreal to her. Amongst the witnesses were her mother and Kari. Kari! She looked very down, withdrawn, accepting of what was happening. Shanaw could feel her heart breaking all over again. The dream faded to white and Shanaw woke up.

Cissé: Tom and I will take watch duty this morning. Kari, please help Knut with battle plans. Shanaw, please join the logging team.

In the towers that morning...

Cissé: Tomoe indicated to me where you were last night.

Tom: She did? Oh, shit...

Cissé: Don't worry. Nobody else knows. It was suggested that you and Shanaw had eloped together but it was laughed off. The others are all convinced she is fully lesbian.

Tom: But the seed has been planted in their minds. I need to tell them soon. Very soon. Tomoe said she would tell Blod and Eirik in a week if I didn't.

Cissé: Have you considered going back to Moira?

Tom: I'll never be enough for her and I don't want to have to jump through hoops every time she gives me a harsh reminder.

Cissé: Do you think Shanaw will forgive Kari?

Tom: It could go either way. She is still young. Very young.

Cissé: You said it, not me!

Tom: We found each other when we were both at an emotional low and picked each other up, made each other happy. It turns out we have a lot in common and love each other very much. I don't think I'll find anyone else quite like her on this island. I'm the only male she has ever trusted.

Cissé: So this isn't a phase while she mends her psyche from what Kari did?

Tom: I don't know. It might be. I hope not. Should I ask her?

Cissé: Yes, but be tactful.

In the towers that afternoon...

Tom: Do you miss Kari?

Shanaw: Yes. I had dream last night about you. It was our wedding. Mum was there. Kari was there. Kari looked so sad. My heart broke again. Then dream finished.

Tom: Wow. That's plenty food for thought. Have you made a decision yet?

Shanaw: No... I want both of you. I need both of you. I love both of you.

Tom: I can accept being one of two partners but I don't think Kari can.

Shanaw started to cry.

Tom: Come here.

They made their way to ground level and shared a very long, emotional hug.

Tom realised that she would end up going back to Kari. He had to support Shanaw now. His own feelings would have to wait.

That evening, before the meal, two concerned people met alone for an urgent discussion.

Tomoe: ...so I told him he had a week to come clean, or I would. We discussed how Kari would react and how best to survive.

Cissé: You gave him a death sentence. You do realise that, don't you?

Tomoe: I know, but disaster may be averted yet.

Cissé: I hope so. I planted seeds of doubt in his head this morning.

Tomoe: She must have already had them because she told him this afternoon she still loves Kari. Something about a wedding dream and Kari looking resigned and sad, breaking her heart again.

Cissé: So much for the mentor-mentee bond you two were forming.

Tomoe: Indeed. Their bond is stronger than ours will ever be. How are you getting on with Moira?

Cissé: Until we've beaten Björn, our future is so uncertain...

After dinner...

Knut: Everybody out! Training time!

Everyone filed out except Gudrun, who babysat a sleeping Thormod.

Outside where the pens and trays were, Knut and Eirik had laid out shooting targets along the wall, four bows, four quivers full of arrows, eight short wooden swords and over a dozen sand-filled closed sacks with string.

Knut: We split into three. The first shoot at the targets while the second and third spar.

Eirik: The sacks are to tie to part of you to be protected. Your opponent is to aim to pierce the sack. Once the sack has been pierced, wait for the others to finish and swap with a shooter if you are a 3 or pair with a 1 if you are a 2.

Knut: The first archers (1s) will be Tom, Eirik, Yaghoub and Blod.

Eirik: For sparring, 2s will be Kari, Tomoe, Knut and Moira.

Knut: 3s will be Solveig, Shanaw, Eustache and Cissé.

Eirik: The first pairings will be Kari & Solveig, Tomoe & Shanaw, Knut & Eustache and Moira & Cissé.

They each took their positions. The sacks were harder to attach than had been anticipated and the sparring was done in a lopsided and stiff fashion to compensate for each sack needing to be kept in place so it didn't swing.

Tom had never been hunting before, so Eirik needed to give him advice.

Eirik: The reason it's not going very far is because you don't have enough tension on the string. Pull it further back. Further. Further still.

Tom: Are you serious? My hands are shaking and the bowstring feels like it's going to snap.

Eirik: It's stronger than you think.

Tom got it but didn't hit a target. When he finally got one in the target, he cheered. Eirik was hitting the target in or very close to the the bullseye without much effort. Yaghoub and Blod were somewhere in-between.

Kari was trying to be respectful towards Solveig but Solveig was trying to lose so that she could get out of the sparring. It was comical to watch. Tomoe went easy on Shanaw and gave her advice. Knut and Eustache really went for it and as such, the others gave them a wide berth. Moira and Cissé decided to playfight and provide comical commentary, much to the annoyance of Knut, which everyone else found hilarious.

Eventually Kari punctured Solveig's bag by accident, Tomoe let Shanaw puncture her bag and Knut lost his footing, allowing Eustache to claim a small victory. Nobody realised that Moira and Cissé had both let their sacks fall to the ground and were carrying on for laughs.

Knut: Everyone move along! 3s and 1s exchange weapons. The sparring pairs are now Tom & Kari, Eirik & Tomoe, Yaghoub & myself and Blod & Moira.

Shanaw helped Solveig and Eustache 'helped' Cissé.

Shanaw: Aim a bit higher...no, too high! There. Further back, further...and...let go!

Solveig moved on the shot and hit the edge of Shanaw's target.

Shanaw: Try to stay still on shot.

Solveig tried again and hit her own target.

Solveig: Thank you, my dear! Say, you're smelling better these days. Who are you trying to impress? Heehee.

Shanaw blushed.

Shanaw: Umm...I no go on hunt, so I no smell bad.

Solveig: Your speech has improved too.

Shanaw: Tom and Cissé teach me.

Solveig: Well, they're doing a fine job and so are you. Keep it up.

Eustache was being as slippery as ever, whispering annoyingly into Cissé's ear.

Eustache: I could give you some tips on how to pull your girl! Trust me, I'm an expert! Nobody knows women better than I do.

Cissé: Is that why you resort to molesting, blackmailing and raping? No, thank you.

Eustache: Your loss!

The fight with Eustache had tired Knut out, so it wasn't long before a sneaky Yaghoub succeeded in defeating him. Eirik and Tomoe fought what could only be described as a textbook spar. Both were completely focussed and calm, neither making any sudden moves that would upset their footing or balance. In contrast, the redhead sisters fought like wild beasts, making a lot of noise and hurling insults at each other.

Then there was the ill-matched spar between Kari and Tom - deadly speed, dexterity and concentration versus slow, clumsy and distractable. Tom had earnt Kari's respect by this point for the most part but she was going to take no prisoners. She split his bag without much effort and they talked while everyone else continued.

Tom: How's the internship going with Knut?

Kari: Not bad, thanks. I'm really psyched about it all.

Tom: How is your menteeship going with Tomoe?

Kari: Well, she- wait! That's none of your business!

Tom: How do you feel about age gap relationships?

Kari: Not ideal but I can live with mine.

Tom: I see.

Knut: Are we all done? No. Eirik, take more risks. We need to finish.

Eirik became more aggressive. Tomoe used this to her advantage and won.


	27. Chapter 27

**Day 162**

Tom saw Kari and Shanaw reunited and rekindled their love to the soundtrack of Mr Brightside by The Killers. It was painful to watch. As he turned away, there was a fade to white and he woke up.

Tom: Yaghoub, I have a special mission that requires someone of your expertise.

Yaghoub: What's that?

Tom: Ask Loki if he can get hold of ten very tasty balanced meals for collection two evenings or two mornings from now. Get the price as low as possible and don't let him trick you into accepting any meal less than top quality or one that is not balanced.

Yaghoub: Thank you for appreciating my abilities. Nobody else here seems to.

Tom: It won't be long now until we need a chief trader. Ten days from now tops. We will all have an opportunity to gain a pit of property and therefore wealth/prestige.

Yaghoub smiled for a moment.

Yaghoub: That's all very well but we need to beat Björn first. Let's not get too carried away.

Tom: I agree. Can you get going now so you can relieve the sentry in the plateau tower immediately afterwards?

Yaghoub: Sure thing, effendi!

Yaghoub left.

Cissé: Well done. Hopefully we won't need to resort to Plan B.

Tom: There is of course Plan C - don't give him any. He has no use for the sulphur.

Cissé: We are not strong enough to take that kind of risk! It only takes a bad word in Björn's ear and he could cut us off from the volcano with a score of men.

Tom: No Plan C, then. Bugger.

Eustache, who had been listening, decided to keep his information to himself.

Knut: Tom, Eirik and I need to make proper swords and armour this morning for tonight. Are you okay to be put with Kari again?

Tom: Only if I can wear Kari-proof armour.

Knut: We'll see what we can do. I suggest we miss tree-felling today. We need to make more rope and cloth. We used a lot for the sacks. Plus, the women go through a lot.

Tom: Good idea. Don't let the women hear you say that, though. They're very touchy about things like that.

Knut: Cissé knows how to make rope. Do you know how to make rope?

Tom: I do, which leaves Kari and Shanaw for watch duty.

Knut: Is that a good idea?

Tom: It's about time they patched things up.

Tom did his best to hide his true feelings about it. Knut didn't notice.

Knut: *shrugs* If you think that's wise...

Tom: I'd better tell the others.

In the towers...

Kari: I really am sorry, you know.

Shanaw: I know. I want us to try again.

Kari: *shocked* Do you really mean that?

Shanaw: I do.

Kari: Can you come down?

They met in front of the towers and embraced.

Kari: I've missed you so much...

Shanaw: I've missed you too. Please stop sex with Sheep Lady.

Kari: Done.

Over at the forge and tavern...

Eirik: Don't perv!

Tom: Sorry.

Cissé: *whispers* It hurts, doesn't it?

Tom: *wipes a tear away* Yep.

This time, Eirik and Knut did notice.

Eirik: Have you been deluding yourself?

Tom: Yes. That's why I need the Kari-proof armour for tonight. I'm going to tell her and she'll try to kill me.

Knut and Eirik were both taken aback and shocked.

Knut: The bush girl?

Tom: Yes. We got together the night we slept rough. But now she wants Kari back.

Knut and Eirik looked at each other. Eirik put his head in his hands in disbelief. Knut noticed the expression on Cissé's face.

Knut: You knew about this?

Eirik: Tom, go for a swim or something!

Tom silently walked away and gazed out to sea. He could hear the raised voices behind him. He sat down and rocked.

Tom: Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck...

At midday changeover...

Tom: I'll go. Someone needs to shovel up shit. The girls can stay here.

Cissé: We'll take Blod with us.

Knut: Only three of you? What if you get attacked?

Eirik: If Björn wants his sulphur, he won't attack.

Knut: You won't be able to get much with you three. You're looking at 3 units of sulphur tops.

Tom: It's better than nothing. Nobody else can produce weapons and armour like you two.

Cissé: Can't Kari go?

Knut: I guess so. We only need one at the towers really while we're here.

During the walk to the volcano...

Kari: Shanaw and I are back together, Mum!

Blod: Woo, go you! Just don't mess it up this time.

Kari: I won't. *grins*

Tom held back with Cissé, trying his best to ignore the conversation up ahead.

That evening after dinner...

Knut: Everyone out! Take your close combat weapons with you, if you have them!

Outside, everyone found 8 suits of armour, of which 4 had swords next to them.

Eirik: Solveig, Cissé, please practise your bow skills this evening.

Knut: Each suit of armour is made to fit only one of you. To narrow it down, those of you without close combat weapons of your own have one of the suits next to a blade.

Eirik: Tom, this is yours. Kari, this is yours. Blod, this is yours. Yaghoub, this is yours. Tomoe, this is yours. Eustache, this is yours. Shanaw, this is yours. Moira, this is yours.

Knut: Take off your outer clothing before you put them on. Use the toilets or the bushes if you are not comfortable doing this in front of others.

Kari and Shanaw went behind the bushes while Blod and Solveig used the privies.

Eirik: Tom, we don't want to see you killed, so we gave Kari a blade too dull to sever anything and gave you a sword good for blocking.

Tom: I...have a plan to disable her using her impulsiveness to my advantage.

Eirik: She is hot-headed and quick to act but make no mistake - she has a lot of strength and is deadly accurate. Don't mess with her. Good luck!

Tom hummed Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins.

Once everyone was ready, Knut paired them up.

Knut: Tom & Kari, Blod & Yaghoub, Tomoe & myself, Eirik & Eustache, Shanaw & Moira.

Eirik: No wounding! First to knock their opponent to the ground wins. You may begin when ready!

The others were all well-matched. Now Tom had to be cunning to improve his odds.

Tom: Congratulations on getting back together with Shanaw.

Kari: Um...thanks...I guess?

Tom: Now I have a confession to make.

Kari: Do I want to hear this?

Tom: You deserve to hear this from me rather than anyone else.

Kari: Okay, now you've hooked me. Spit it out.

Tom: You really broke Shanaw's heart when you slept with Ingrid.

Kari: So? What the Hel has that to do with you?

Tom: I picked up the pieces, made her happy again. Didn't you notice she seemed to get over it a little too quickly?

Kari: WHAT? AND STOP DEFENDING! FIGHT ME, DAMMIT!

Tom: Shanaw got together that night we both slept rough and we broke up yesterday because she couldn't bear the thought of you being screwed for life emotionally. She still loves you.

Tom was backing away towards the water barrels.

Kari: YOU THIEVING- GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!

Tom: Sorry but you're too strong and will kill me if I don't get some distance.

Kari: AND YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT, YOU ARSEHOLE! COME HERE!

Kari charged him. At the last second, Tom crouched. Unable to halt her momentum, Kari tripped over Tom and went headlong into the largest barrel, which was full. At the almighty thud, everyone turned around. Kari had almost been knocked out.

Tom tried to get up and eventually succeeded, shaking.

Tom: Thank fuck. Phew.

Kari: Uhhhhhh...oww...

Tom quickly took her sword off her.

Tom: Moira, she's concussed!

Kari: Shhh...oww...

Moira: I'll deal with her later! *turns to Shanaw* So... YOU stole Tom off me!

Shanaw: He already left you! You hurt him and you expected him to jump! I would left you too!

Moira: It takes a lot to keep me interested. Maybe he was better off with you!

Shanaw: What that mean?

Moira: You're young, immature, don't know what you want... that's Tom as well.

Shanaw: I could still keep him interested more than you could, you desperate old bag!

Moira: SILLY LITTLE GIRL!

Shanaw: NO LITTLE GIRL!

The lame insults kept coming. Everybody groaned.

Later, inside...

Blod: If she has brain damage, I won't forgive you!

Tom: What would you have had me do instead?

Blod: Die.

Tom: Is my crime really worthy of a death sentence?

Blod: Interfering in my daughter's relationship and courting a minor? Yes.

Tom: You didn't think that when Eustache attempted to RAPE you and when Tomoe-

Blod: ENOUGH! You need to take responsibility for what you did.

Tom: Like I said, Eustache and Tomoe haven't. Your double standards are-

Blod slapped Tom.

Blod: DON'T turn this into being about me!

Eirik: Blod! The boy has a point! You're being too harsh!

Blod: I'm not letting that charlatan get away with it! He's been deceitful from the very start. At least Eustache and Tomoe had the decency to be open about what they were doing.

Eirik: True but they weren't faced with the prospect of a murderous Kari. Tom came forward in the end and that took guts.

Blod: I don't care. He needs to pay!

Eirik: And he will.

Tom gulped.


	28. Chapter 28

**Day 163**

Cissé: O Freyja, a part of our community with a strong voice want to see the end of Tom's life and it risks splitting the camp. I humbly ask for your guidance.

Freyja: You must seek a compromise.

The scene faded to white and Cissé woke up.

Eirik: Tom, go and relieve Yaghoub and Eustache. We need to discuss what has happened.

Tom went out to the towers, fearful of judgement. This was an 11th Century Norse court, not what he would find at home. He could lose privileges like being consul, he could receive a beating, have his cock chopped off, be sentenced to death, exiled, anything.

Yaghoub: Finally! I'm struggling to stay awake!

Tom: What did Loki say yesterday?

Yaghoub: He reckons he'll be able to acquire 5 but probably not 10. 1 bead for 5 very tasty balanced meals.

Tom: Excellent work! Did he offer you a box?

Yaghoub: He did but I didn't accept it.

As consul, Cissé led the court session.

Cissé: We are all gathered here because Tom had a relationship with a minor-

Shanaw: What is a minor.

Solveig: Someone below adult age, my love.

Shanaw: I'm Nineteen!

Cissé: Errrm...right... He did so knowing he was exploiting a vulnerable young woman at a time when she was questioning her existing relationship with another teenage camp member.

Blod: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

Kari: OFF WITH HIS COCK!

Cissé: *bangs gavel* Silence! Tom has already made a full confession, so we don't need him yet. I would like to call Shanaw to testify.

The benches were arranged as circular as possible (it was more like a square or rhombus, as there were four straight benches), so nobody moved.

Cissé: First of all, please tell us what happened from your point of view, from when you started to suspect Kari had betrayed you.

Shanaw: It was when Moira and Kari were cagey about their visit to Ingrid. First, I thought Moira's response was very personal to Tom. Then I noticed Kari backed her up but no look me in eye. I worried. Then when we were alone in towers, I asked Kari if I needed to be worried. She replied 'no' but it no sound right. I no believed her. I knew she betrayed me. I very upset.

Shanaw: Then at dinner, Tom went outside with Gudrun. Moira looked very...what word...she moved her hands and feet a lot, not stay still. Then she went outside. Tom came in. Then Moira asked him outside. Kari admitted she slept with...Ingrid...*cries* and I no reply. I go outside. I felt terrible. I not worth anything to Kari. I not good enough. I no trust her anymore.

Kari could not stop the tears from rolling down her own face at this point.

Shanaw: Moira no look at me as she went inside. Maybe she feel it all her fault. I no argue. Then I see Tom on headland. He looked as sad as I was, for same reasons. My heart went out to him. I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and told him we hurt from same thing. He hugged me. It no Eustache hug. It caring hug. We cried together. Then he kissed my forehead. I realised Tom lovely man. He saw my face change and he kissed my collarbone. Also sweet but sexual too. I was ready and I told him. He still asked if I sure. He was so gentle, warm. I felt looked after. He made me happy. We had sex. He was very gentle, always asked if he did right thing or thing I liked. Very sweet and kind man.

Shanaw: Next morning, we both have dream that Kari chase him and kill him. We both knew this could happen, so we kept our relationship secret. I no want lose Tom.

Shanaw: Over next few days, Tom never asked me for sex. He always let me tell him first I wanted it. He opened up to me. He told me about life in his time. He told me about living with autism. I understood. He taught me how to say 'I', 'me' and 'you'. I felt better person and happier because of Tom. I loved him. I still do.

Shanaw: Then I had dream of my wedding day with Tom. Kari was there. She looked so sad. My heart broke again. Then I knew I wanted Kari back. When I told Tom, he understood. When I cried because I no want him go, he hugged me, the same caring hug he gave me that night. Again, he kissed my forehead, but not my collarbone. He not with me after. But if I need help or a cry or anything, I know he there for me. I hope he not too upset with me. *sobs*

Shanaw: Then he told Kari while fighting. I afraid Tom die. When Kari bump her head, I upset for Kari but happy Tom not dead.

Cissé: Thank you, Shanaw. I know that was difficult. Does anyone have any questions for Shanaw? Hands up so I can choose one at a time.

Solveig stuck her hand up. Cissé nodded at her.

Solveig: Shanaw, Cissé also gave you speech lessons, yes?

Shanaw: Yes.

Solveig: Cissé is also a very nice, gentle and caring man. Do you agree?

Shanaw: Yes.

Solveig: How would you feel if he kissed you on the forehead and collarbone? Would you want to have a relationship with him too?

Blod: Exactly!

Shanaw: Cissé like wise old grandfather to me! I couldn't!

Solveig: Do you know that Tom is old enough to be your father?

Shanaw: If you say how long between now and birth, yes, but he no behave like father and he not father. He no like Eirik or Knut.

Solveig: How do we know Tom doesn't have a son or daughter in his own time? He doesn't talk about his previous life much to us. He could be married too.

Blod: I doubt it. He isn't marriage material. Hel, I wouldn't even say he's fuck material.

Moira: I would disagree with that!

Blod: You would.

Moira: -

Cissé: *bangs gavel* Everyone! Please let us keep to the matter at hand, more specifically where we are in the session. Solveig, do you want to ask any more questions of Shanaw?

Solveig: No. Thank you, Shanaw. I'm sorry this is so tough.

Cissé: Does anyone else have any questions for her?

Eustache stuck up his hand. Cissé nodded.

Eustache: Shanaw, now that you know you like men and you don't mind them being childless men somewhere close to double your age, would you be willing to give me a try? I can kiss you on the forehead and collarbone too if that's what gets you horny.

Kari and Knut turned and snarled at him.

Blod: As much as I don't want to admit it, he has a point.

Solveig: Agreed.

Shanaw: NO! YOU DIRTY SLIMEBALL SCUMBAG WHO TOUCHED ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! YOU HORRIBLE! I WOULD NEVER!

Eustache: You didn't complain at the time. Besides, I'm sure we can come to a-

Kari and Knut pounced on him and started punching.

Cissé banged the gavel as hard as he could and shouted.

Cissé: ORDER! You can kick his arse from here to Kingdom Come for all I care, but do it after this court session, please!

Kari and Knut resumed their seats.

Cissé: I assume Eustache has no more questions for Shanaw. Anyone else?

Blodeuwedd stuck her hand up. Cissé nodded.

Blod: How can you have forgiven him so easily from when you and Kari were so inappropriately propositioned for a threesome? Yes, I heard about that.

Shanaw: He realised his mistake and not ask again. He not Eustache.

Blod looked like she might be having a flashback to when Eustache tore her dress and the attempted gang rape that ensued immediately afterward. Cissé tapped his gavel, Blod came to and Eirik pulled her in for a consoling hug.

Cissé: Any more questions for Shanaw before we move on? No? All right, let's bring Tom back in for questioning. Who does NOT want to ask him any questions?

Eirik stuck his hand up.

Eirik: I'll go.

After what seemed like half the morning to Tom, Eirik came out of the shelter. His face gave nothing away.

Tom: Have they reached a decision?

Eirik: Far from it. We've only just finished Shanaw's testimony and cross-examination. She fought hard for you in there. It's too early to speculate what will be decided. I'm relieving you so that you can be cross-examined. Just to prepare you, some of the women are baying for your blood. You can guess who they are.

Tom: Kari, Blod, Solveig, Moira.

Eirik: Yup. It will be like a bear pit in there for you. Now go. The sooner you enter, the sooner this is over.

Tom gulped and started walking. He started humming "Am I Evil?" by Diamond Head. The feeling of foreboding was palpable.

Tom found the widest gap between Cissé and Knut. Probably a good thing, but then Knut had given Eustache a massive wallop for molesting Shanaw. Hopefully he was only in guard mode right now.

Cissé: *Bangs gavel* Tom, we have heard from Shanaw and now you are to be asked questions by members of the Court. Who's first?

Several hands went up. Cissé gestured his gavel in the direction of Kari.

Cissé: Keep it civil.

Kari: Whatever. Did you never stop to consider Shanaw was MY GIRLFRIEND?

Tom: At that point, you didn't deserve her and Shanaw had made it clear she didn't want to be with you.

Kari started getting up.

Cissé: Restrain her, please. Any more questions at the moment, Kari?

Kari: Will any girl be safe once I've cut off his-

Cissé: That's a no, then. Next? Solveig.

Solveig: Do you feel you did anything wrong?

Tom: I knew that my actions would be frowned upon by some, which is not the same thing. My conscience was clear. Shanaw needed comforting. She allowed me to comfort her. She gave consent, I liked her, so it started. She continued to respond well to my presence and our relationship, so I continued to court her. When she wanted to try again with Kari, I stepped away. I feel no remorse for these actions.

Cissé: Any more questions, Solveig? No? Anyone else? Kari, are you going to keep it civil?

Kari: If I must. Tom, you told me age gap relationships are a massive taboo in your society. Why do you think it's okay to flout the taboos of your society here?

Tom: Just because a taboo exists, it doesn't mean to say I have to agree with it and take it around with me wherever I go. What is taboo here, anyway?

Kari: Well, you earned my respect and now you've lost it.

Tom: Does it make any difference to you at all that I a) sought consent every step of the way, b) did my best to keep Shanaw happy while you were in disgrace, c) respected her decision without question to return to you and d) told you the truth myself when I could easily have kept it a secret?

Kari: In a word, no. As far as I'm concerned, you stole my girlfriend and I'm going to take you down.

Cissé: *bangs gavel* Enough! Anyone else? Moira? Keep it civil, please.

Moira: Did you not for one moment consider how upset I would be?

Tom: Haha. That's rich. No. You blew it.

Moira: But you sounded like you were going to live with it. Was that another deception?

Tom: I would have done but then you made it clear that you wanted me to jump through hoops every time you did something wrong to try to win you back. Fuck that. Fair enough when I've done something wrong but not you. That's a mentally abusive relationship.

Moira: Well sorry for wanting a man with some fire in his belly!

Tom: I suggest you find a dragon. Its cock would probably be bigger too.

Moira: -

Cissé: Keep it civil, please!

Moira: You were clearly ashamed because you avoided me for days.

Tom: Did I look ashamed or happy to be rid of you?

Moira: -

Cissé: Tom! I expect the members of the Court to be civil towards you and I expect the same from you in return!

Tom: Sorry.

Cissé: Anyone else? Blod.

Blod: Are these actions worthy of a leader?

Tom: Well, we've had worse.

Blod: Answer the question!

Tom: I co-ordinate, yes. I look after the interests of the camp by predicting the future and suggesting the implementation of new technologies, but I did that as Soothsayer/Inventor. Other than that, I'm the same as you lot. Have I ever abused my authority?

Blod: Answer the question!

Tom: Stop implying an answer! I'm saying it makes no difference if I'm a leader or not. The crime is the same.

Cissé: That is for the Court to decide, Tom. Anyone else? Lade Tomoe.

Tomoe: How did you see the future for the relationship?

Tom: It was early days. You can't plan ahead too early. You have no idea if it will last or not. Mine have never lasted long, so any planning ahead I have done have been futile exercises.

Tomoe: Okay, let's talk about day-to-day, week-to-week. Did you think about when and how to go public on your relationship?

Tom: I think we would have done so immediately if it weren't for Kari.

Tomoe: How so?

Tom: We were worried about how violently Kari would react.

Kari: DAMN RIGHT!

Cissé: Order! Please continue.

Tomoe: Do you wish any harm toward Kari or Moira?

Tom: Not at all.

Tomoe: To Shanaw?

Tom: *horrified* Definitely not!

Tomoe: To anyone else in this camp?

Tom: Of course not. We are a small community fighting for our very survival. We cannot spare anyone.

Tomoe: Do you have any sympathy for our enemies?

Tom: For those who are blackmailed into Björn's service and those otherwise driven by fear (e.g. Harald), yes. For those who enjoy every gorey or oppressive moment and/or have their own nefarious motives, no.

Tomoe: At what price would you see your sex drive and your yearning for companionship reaching?

Tom: I haven't really thought about it. Erm... certainly not to the detriment of camp morale.

Tomoe: Can you now see that your relationship with Shanaw and this principle are in conflict?

Tom: Yes. I'm sorry.

Cissé: Is that everything? Okay. Anyone else? No? Tom, swap with Eirik. We need to discuss your character and responsibilities and come to some kind of sentence.

Eirik: How did you get on?

Tom: It was a bear pit indeed. Tomoe may have saved my arse at the end. She questioned my character such that I could come across honest and benign rather than like Eustache.

Eirik: If you get off lightly, you will have a few people to thank.

Tom: That, I will!

Cissé: Eirik, welcome back. For Tom's character, I ask that each of you in turn give a brief statement based on your own personal feeling, starting with Tomoe and going clockwise round. You do not need to be balanced but you do need to be civil.

Tomoe: I think Tom is misguided, which comes from his autism, but he is very fair and has a big heart. He means nobody any harm and I believe him when he says he wants what is best for the camp and for us to prosper.

Kari: He had earned my trust but has completely blown it. He started off as this weird man-child who kept on coming out with these anecdotes from his own time period and showed off with his knowledge of history. He was awkward to talk to and was pervy as Hel, still is. He is a complete wuss when it comes to any physical labour or battle. -

Cissé: Please keep it brief.

Kari: ...But he showed himself to be a good strategist and his inventions would be a stroke of genius if someone else hadn't already invented them before him. He helped my dad become leader and when Dad stepped down, he became leader himself. His style has been very different to Eustache's and I respected him for that. He was right when he said he still considers himself one of us, not above us.

Cissé: Kari...

Kari: Oh, all right! Keep your hair on. Then he stole my girlfriend and had the gall to tell me when he had a suit of armour on. Only a coward does that. Just as cowardly, he tricked me in order to win his fight. That just makes me want to end him even more. Okay, I'm done.

Blod: That charlatan always had a power-hungry glint about him. He's defiant, he loves rubbing people up the wrong way and by Loki, does he perv! My sister had a lucky escape. He wormed his way to power and into Shanaw's bed. He's just better at it than Eustache because he creates this illusion that he cares about us all and that we're all equals, when really it's him up there and the rest of us down here. He is not a worthy leader and he isn't worthy of remaining in this camp. If he gets executed or murdered, I don't care.

Solveig: He ran out of women his own age and gave up on Moira, so he saw an opportunity and he took it. When she wanted to return to Kari, he was clever enough to realise he would be doing himself a disservice by trying to stop her. I agree with Blod, he's a cleverer Eustache. That said, I'm prepared for him to stay with us, just not as leader.

Yaghoub: He has a way of buttering me up but I don't think it comes from ill intent. He and others have spoken favourably today and I think he should continue as leader.

Moira: He's a love rat but I still think he brings a lot to this camp. It wouldn't be the same without him. If he keeps his promise of stepping down once I've finished my training, I am happy to vote for him again as leader.

Gudrun: It doesn't matter. Kari will kill him soon him anyway. However, I do think he makes a fairer and more just leader than the other obvious candidate who wishes to stand now. He isn't drunk on power but she would be, the fat bitch!

Solveig: I...don't want to be leader...

Blod: She meant me. I'm used to the abuse.

Eirik: Despite this incident and others before, I like him. He's funny, has good ideas and I think he does actually care. He can be misguided at times but we can do a lot worse!

Eustache: He was jostling to topple me ever since he arrived. When he succeeded, he installed a puppet leader and then took the crown for himself when that fell apart. As for women, he's no different from me, I assure you. We've got all we can get out of him for new tech, so I say expel him or put him to death. I don't care which.

Knut: He's a smart lad, most of the time. His ideas are good. I did not approve of the union when I first learned of it but having listened to Shanaw testify and Tom face questions, I don't think the lad did a bad thing. He earned my respect and still has it.

Cissé: How would each of you deal with Tom if it were up to you?

Tomoe: He doesn't pose a danger or even a risk to anyone or the camp, so I think this scrutiny he has faced in this morning's court session and the threats he faces from the others sharing my bench are heat enough.

Kari: Chop off his cock and poke his eyes out. He can still lead with Cissé.

Blod: Exile at least, preferably death.

Solveig: He should be demoted to advisor, have no say in the rota and have a strict bedtime curfew. If he breaks it, expulsion.

Yaghoub: No punishment.

Moira: No punishment. I would like to remind this Court that the Heodenings Curse is still in effect. The last thing we need is Björn gaining ballistatowers and arming his men with guns.

Gudrun: No punishment. I echo Moira's words about the Curse.

Eirik: No punishment.

Eustache: Expulsion or death.

Knut: No punishment.

Cissé: Very well. All in favour of death, please raise your hand.

Kari, Blod and Eustache raised their hands.

Cissé: Against death.

Tomoe, Solveig, Yaghoub, Moira, Gudrun, Eirik and Knut all raised their hands.

Cissé: In favour of expulsion.

Kari, Blod and Eustache raised their hands.

Cissé: Against expulsion.

Tomoe, Solveig, Yaghoub, Moira, Gudrun, Eirik and Knut all raised their hands.

Cissé: In favour of mutilation.

Only Kari and Blodeuwedd raised their hands.

Cissé: Against mutilation.

Tomoe, Solveig, Yaghoub, Moira, Gudrun, Eirik and Knut all raised their hands.

Cissé: For impeachment.

Kari, Blod, Solveig and Eustache raised their hands.

Cissé: Against impeachment.

Tomoe, Yaghoub, Moira, Gudrun, Eirik and Knut all raised their hands.

Blod: Oh, you've got to be joking...

Kari: Are you fucking kidding me?

Cissé: In favour of Solveig's idea.

Kari, Blod, Solveig and Eustache raised their hands.

Cissé: Against Solveig's idea.

Tomoe, Yaghoub, Moira, Gudrun, Eirik and Knut all raised their hands.

Cissé: In favour of heavy beating.

Kari, Blod and Eustache raised their hands.

Cissé: Against heavy beating.

Tomoe, Solveig, Yaghoub, Moira, Gudrun, Eirik and Knut all raised their hands.

Cissé: In favour of light beating.

Kari, Blod and Eustache raised their hands.

Cissé: Against light beating.

Yaghoub raised his hand.

Cissé: In favour of closer mentorship.

Tomoe, Blod, Solveig, Yaghoub, Moira, Gudrun, Eirik and Knut all raised their hands.

Cissé: Against closer mentorship.

Only Kari and Eustache raised their hands.

Cissé: Would those of you willing to provide that mentorship please raise their hands.

Tomoe, Solveig, Gudrun, Eirik and Cissé raised their hands.

Cissé: Yaghoub, please bring Tom back in.

Cissé: Tom, this Court has decided that you are to receive a light beating and receive closer mentorship from Tomoe, Solveig, Gudrun, Eirik and myself. Eirik, please do the honours.

Eirik: Tom, please lift your shirt.

Tom gulped and did as he was bidden. Eirik flogged him with a branch a dozen times. It stang. Tom winced with discomfort but took it.

Tom: Am I still Consul?

Cissé: Yes. Now we must attend to our morning jobs. Midday changeover will happen mid-afternoon and dinner will be at nightfall.

Kari: Is that it?

Blod: I am losing faith in democracy, Cissé!

Eirik: Well done, my friend!

Knut: Hear, hear!

Cissé: *beams and bows* I was only performing my duty.

Tom: Solveig, Elof will be expecting ten very tasty balanced cooked meals in two days. Yaghoub did a deal with Loki but he cannot guarantee any. If it were completely down to you, how many do you think you could manage?

Solveig: If I prepare some the afternoon before and during the morning on the day itself, I would say I could manage 5-10 if I had enough fish and meat.

Tom: How much fish and meat are we talking here?

Solveig: A score the day before and a dozen on the day.

Tom: I'll ensure you get all the fish and meat you need. Do you have enough vegetables that will be ripe in time?

Solveig: Oh, yes! Don't worry about that!

Tom: Great! Can I carry anything up for you? I'm on watch duty up there.

Solveig: Yes, you can. Grab my watering cans and my hoe. Fill the cans first.

Apart from the gossip and rivalry about the trial, the rest of the day was uneventful.

That night, everyone woke to find Kari suspended by the ankle from the top of Tom's bunk.

Kari: Get me down, coward!

She bared her teeth menacingly and made a swoopy movement with her knife.

Tom: *to Kari* That's rich. Slitting my throat while I sleep is hardly becoming of a fearsome warrior. *to everyone else* You wanted me to receive due punishment. Is constant fear of being murdered night and day punishment enough? If she doesn't finish me off, a stroke, insanity or a heart attack will!

Knut: I will sort out a pair of cuffs.


	29. Chapter 29

**Day 164**

Moira could see her bloodstained comrades in front of her. They looked at her expectantly, as if to ask "What now?" Moira felt trepidation and rising pressure.

The scene faded to white and Moira woke up.

Gudrun: *hoarsely* I won't last the day. That I know.

Moira: Shit...

Gudrun: There are some Thor-strength pain killers in the healing tent. Please take me there.

Moira: Okay. Are you sure you still want me to sacrifice you?

Gudrun: *even more hoarsely* Yes.

Moira: In light of yesterday's trial over something much less than murder, will you please tell everyone this is completely voluntary and consensual on your part?

Gudrun: I can't raise my voice. Get everyone to huddle close.

Moira did as she was bidden. Once everyone was as close as they could get, Gudrun made her announcement in a barely audible whisper.

Gudrun: Everyone, today is my last day in Miðgarðr. At my request, Moira will end my life before my life force leaves my body of its own accord. This is normal in Völva training and I therefore implore you to respect my wishes by allowing Moira to do this last deed for me without penalty. If you follow us to the healing tent, you will have a chance to say goodbye to me before my drugs kick in. I need them, so please don't get in our way. Come on, Moira. Let's go.

Still in shock, everyone parted to let them through. In a moment that felt surreal, they followed carer and patient to the healing tent. One by one, they paid their respects.

Knut: Gudrun, you and my wonderful wife Solveig helped me change, become a gentler and wiser man. I am forever in your debt.

Solveig: You have served this little community of ours well and helped my husband mend his ways. I cannot thank you enough.

Tom: It's been like having my gran around again. Like you, she wouldn't be defined by old age. She didn't let anyone run rings around her. She was the most open-minded person I ever met in my time. But enough about her. You have been so helpful in guiding me and no doubt other people, often getting us to find solutions to our problems without spelling it out. I will miss you dearly.

Eustache: I never thought I would agree with Tom but you've been a great help to me as well, in exactly the same way! May you leave our plane of existence peacefully.

This continued until everyone had paid their respects in some way. Well, not quite everyone. Someone had stayed behind in the shelter.

Blod: Good riddance. Now my sister or I can take Tom's place as leader.

Tom: Gudrun is going to leave us today. She will be sorely missed.

Freyja: Have you come to ask if the valkyrie has been found? Yes. She will start servicing the dead before sunset.

Shanaw: You think life change after Gudrun dies?

Kari: Aunt Moira will be leader and that will be about it. I hope we get to fight Björn soon, though.

Knut: How do you think life will change after Gudrun dies?

Eirik: I think Blod will be fuming because Moira won't listen to her. Hehe.

Blod: I HEARD THAT!

Eirik: Whoops...

Moira: Are you sure there's no other way?

Gudrun: No. I'm drugged up. The knife is over there. Get on with it.

Gudrun passed peacefully, in premeditated and bloody sacrifice to aid and finalise Moira's Völva training.

During her time in the camp, she...

Cooked 15 times

\- caused 28 stomach upsets

\- caused 15 bouts of diarrhoea

\- caused 9 bouts of vomiting

Harvested 30 times

\- picked the wrong plant or seed 12 times due to poor eyesight

\- got a rash twice

\- suffered from rheumatism

Fetched water once

\- got chronic back pain once

Brewed 80 potions

\- 10 didn't work as intended

\- 22 worked too well

Healed 63 times

\- received 38 complaints

Gave advice 55 times

\- 25 cryptic

\- 10 very cryptic

\- 3 impossible to act on

Moira: Oh, fuck...

That evening...

Moira: The Heodenings Curse - is it broken?

Tom: Yes. Gudrun has succeeded. Or at least, that's what Freyja said.

Moira: What will happen instead?

Tom: A valkyrie will take souls where they need to go, as per a skald's poem I saw in Freyja's vault. She'll probably show it to you if you ask.

Moira: Okay, I'll go up there now.

Moira: I've wrapped Gudrun's body in blankets and put her on a stretcher. We should put her on a coracle (but a pyre would do), put some of her most treasured posessions and tools of her trade and set it alight, pushing it out to sea (if applicable). Her ravens also need to be in there.

Tom: Let's get Knut.

Gudrun's funeral ended just as the Sun set.

Moira: The Heodenings Curse is now at an end, so Gudrun will be taken where she needs to go.

After dinner...

Knut: Training time! Grab your weapons!

Kari: I'll need this cuff to come off if I am to put on armour, wield a weapon and fight.

Knut: Promise you'll behave yourself?

Kari: Don't worry. I will.

No sooner had Knut undone the cuffs, Kari grabbed her knife and sprinted out the door after Tom. Noticing Kari behind him and fearing for his life, Tom legged it. Unfortunately for him, Kari was a lot faster than he was and he could not think of a way to trick her or disable her, so it wasn't long before she pounced.

Tom: Please make this quick.

Kari slit his throat and then stabbed his heart. She turned around to see everyone staring in disbelief.

Shanaw: NOOOOOOO!

She ran forward and nursed Tom's head. Moira was soon at her side. She looked at the wounds and looked sombre.

Moira: He's gone. There's nothing we can do.

Tom really should have picked his women more carefully. Kari stabbed him to death.

During his time on the island, he...

Taught his comrades 15 new technologies

Took part in building structures for 6 days

Made rope for 1 day

Lazed about on watch duty for 42 days

Cooked once

\- the food was inedible

Cast his eyes over 8 women on-island

\- 5 by being a Peeping Tom

\- 2 by way of sex/relationship

\- 2 flashed him in dreams

\- several more off-island while he dreamt he was a Rock god

Pissed off 6 people at least once

Depressed Eustache 9 times

Deposed 2 leaders

\- 1 with consent

\- 1 without consent

Played Kingmaker twice

Moira silently shed tears. Shanaw cried hysterically.

Eirik: Was that really necessary?

Kari: That Court did fuck all! He needed to pay!

Eirik: What about your aunt and girlfriend?

Kari: Collateral damage. He got what was coming to him.

Moira: You make me sick! Right now, I have no niece! Get out of my sight!

Tom found himself floating above his body. He saw Moira and Shanaw crying. He placed his hands on them to comfort them but his ghostly form went straight through them.

Tom: Nooooo... Shanaw... Moira...

?: Tom...

Tom: Who said that?

?: Behind you...

Tom turned around. What looked to him like a gorgeous angel without a halo was floating a few feet away. It looked a bit like...

Tom: Gudrun! Come up and see me; make me smile!

Sigrún: Heehee. You recognise me, then? I'm Sigrún now.

Tom: You're gorgeous, but... what about them?

He looked with sadness at his former lovers, who had not moved.

Sigrún: You cannot do anything for them now. You must move on.

Tom: To Heaven? I don't see a stairway, or hear Robert Plant, Jimmy Page's guitar or pan-flutes.

Sigrún: Why there?

Tom: Because you look like an angel.

Sigrún: I'm a valkyrie, you idiot! Had you not figured that one out?

Tom: Ohhh. Sorry.

Sigrún: You have a few options available to you. You can remain here as a ghost (unable to reunite with your loved ones properly but you would be able to perve and enter their dreams), go to Valhalla, go to Heaven, go to other realms you have not heard of or return to your own time.

Tom: How is returning to my own time possible?

Sigrún: You have a body there, untarnished. I can take you to the moment when you left so nobody will think you are dead.

Tom: Very well. I'll miss this lot, though. Please take me back to the future.

Tom hummed the Back to the Future theme tune as they entered the vortex.

Knut: Let's leave Moira and Shanaw to grieve. Everyone else, please continue putting your armour on. See you in the training area.

Nobody had much enthusiasm for fighting after what just happened.

Eirik: Today, we'll be pairing those more skilled with those less so. This is not for a foregone conclusion but for an exchange in technique and skill. The pairings are...

Knut: Eirik & Yaghoub, Tomoe & Cissé and Blod & myself. Kari and Eustache can fight each other if they come back in time.

After the training, while everyone was going back inside...

Cissé: Eirik, Knut, can I have a word?

They huddled together. Blodeuwedd paused, looked as if she were going to say something, then continued her walk towards the shelter.

Cissé: I think it would be prudent to put Kari on trial.

Knut: True. Tom was for a lesser crime. Eirik?

Eirik: I'm afraid I have to agree. However much she disliked him for what he did to her relationship with Shanaw, he was still a camp member who had already paid for his crime.

Cissé: I guess we could never count on Kari and Blod to be satisfied with the verdict, but we all took part in the votes. If Shanaw and I had voted, Tom would not have received any beating at all.

Knut: The thing is we cannot have her going off in a strop or get banished when we have a war to fight. The final battle is drawing near.

Cissé: About that - how soon until we have enough ammo, guns for our allies and fully trained allies?

Knut: It depends on the next tribute. If it's achieveable, ideally about ten days. If not, we will need to push our people on in six days from tomorrow - the day before the next tribute is due.

Eirik: Could we not lure them here by refusing to pay?

Knut: That would be wise. We could get cut off from our resources or ambushed by a score of fighters. No. We attack without worsening relations.

Cissé: No doubt Moira will want to arrange a funeral for Tom tomorrow. I suggest we allow her to take up her leadership position only when she is ready.

Eirik: Agreed. We three can hold for now.

Cissé: So, when are we putting Kari on trial?

Knut: The day after the final battle, should enough of us still be alive.


	30. Chapter 30

**Day 165**

Sigrún: Moira...

Moira: How's life?

Sigrún: Not bad, thanks. Tom was my first customer.

Moira: About that...

Sigrún: Are you stuck on a piece for the funeral?

Moira: Yes.

Sigrún: He told me an extract of a song that you can use as a poem.

Moira: I'm all ears.

Sigrún gave her 11 lines of a song.

The scene faded to white and Moira woke up. She hurried to find some fabric, dirt and water.

Yaghoub: How many?

Loki: Three. It was Five last night but you didn't collect them.

Yaghoub: Yah, sorry about that. Someone in our camp got murdered right in front of everybody, so I kinda forgot.

Loki: Do I look like I care?

Yaghoub: No but you would have loved to have been there.

Loki: True. So, do you want them or not?

Yaghoub: I'll get back to you. A bead for three is steep.

Yaghoub: How many very tasty balanced meals do we have?

Solveig: There are six in the larder. I'm hoping I'll get three high quality portions from this lot.

Yaghoub: Here you go.

Loki: The price has gone up, Effendi! Hehe.

Yaghoub: Those three meals are going to deteriorate soon and be unsaleable.

Loki: I have...other customers who want them.

Yaghoub: *sniffs* I think I smell them right now. Do you smell them?

Loki: N- why, yess.

Yaghoub: *sniffs* Oh, wait. It's boarshit.

Loki: *sighs* Fine...

During changeover...

Elof: Tribute time, piglets! Do you have 60 sulphur and 12 very tasty balanced meals for uncle Elof?

Cissé: You asked for 50 sulphur and 10 very tasty balanced meals, so that is what we have.

Elof: Oh, my little duckies... Have you not learned by now that we often ask for a bit more when we come to collect?

Cissé: We agreed the original amounts, not these new ones. A contract is two-way.

Elof: Not here, it's not. You don't need to agree, you need to pay up.

Cissé: *whispers to Knut and Yaghoub* How many do we have?

Knut: 55 sulphur.

Elof: I'm waiting.

Yaghoub: 11 top quality meals.

Cissé: We'll have to meet you halfway because this is all we have.

Elof: You'll have to do better than this, my little ponies. Next tribute - 80 wood, 100 stone and 40 iron! For my share, a female sex slave! All the better if it's Kari. I do enjoy tormenting her. Heehee!

Kari started rushing at him. Eirik held her back. Elof turned his mule around and left, laughing hard.

Cissé: Get everyone inside.

Once everyone was in the shelter, out of earshot from Elof...

Cissé: Don't worry. We're not intending to pay the tribute.

Knut: We have six days to become battle-ready. All of us.

Kari appeared in the doorway.

Kari: Olaf, Granni, Leif, Jürgen and Johan are here. Shall I let them through?

Cissé: Yes.

The power three remained and everyone else left. The other chiefs entered.

Olaf: The latest tribute that has been demanded from each of our camps troubles us.

Granni: We think they are building towers and equipping an army.

Knut: That doesn't surprise us. The dead are no longer being resurrected and joining Björn's ranks.

Leif: We cannot survive without your help! What do we do?

Cissé: We have no intention of paying the tribute. You should do the same.

Knut: That leads us to needing to attack with full force in six days. I hope we can count on your support.

Olaf: You can, but our weapons are not in the best condition. Our forge has cracked.

Knut: I can help with that.

Granni: I have too few men left. Their morale is very fragile.

Knut: We can arm the men of both your camps and train them.

Eirik: We also have a secret weapon.

Jürgen: Oh?

Eirik: *presents a pistol* This.

Johan: What is it?

Eirik: It's a gun - a short-to-medium range weapon. It sends a small metal projectile into the target. It is propelled by igniting black powder.

Olaf: We couldn't even hope to make those.

Knut: I am making moulds for both of you. The casing is made of iron. The projectiles (called bullets) are made of iron or copper.

Granni: What about the black powder?

Cissé: Our alchemist makes it from sulphur or pyrite, charcoal and guano.

Leif: Poop? We tend to use it as fertiliser for crops.

Cissé: The poop is distilled so that niter crystals form.

Jürgen: So how soon can we get these moulds, ammunition and training?

Knut: Tonight, after Tom's funeral.

Johan: The future kid who became a co-leader?

Cissé: The same. Actually, all of this was his idea and design.

Eirik: It was also his idea to arm your camps with them.

Olaf: Do any of you have any reservations?

Cissé: I do. These are to be used against Björn's men, then dismantled and buried. They are not to be used to settle in-camp disputes, to hunt game or to bully the rest of the island's residents.

Olaf: You have my word.

Granni: And mine.

Leif: And mine.

Jürgen: And mine.

Johan: And mine.

Knut: Good. We'll see you later.

Moira: He was the only person who has kissed me with fresh breath. I took his example and started chewing peppermint leaves to clean my teeth. The first night was a let-down but after that, he was always asking what I wanted and checking to see if he was doing it right. He wasn't the best lover I ever had but he was the most selfless. He never asked me to satisfy him. Satisfying me was his only concern. Was he the same with you, Shanaw?

Shanaw: Yes. He gave wonderful kisses. On my lips, on my forehead, on my collarbone, on my-

Solveig: Yes, we get it.

Eirik: He had his quirks but I liked him. He had some good ideas and without them, I doubt we would all still be here.

Knut: Hear, hear!

Moira: Hear, hear.

Eirik: Even though he was only two or three years younger than me, he felt like a cross between a younger cousin and a son-in-law to me, someone whom I could take under my wing. I think we could all learn from him. He treated nobody with any prejudice; he took people at face value. He resented "do as I say, not as I do" authority figures, insisted that we all be valued equally and the same with our opinions. I will miss him.

Knut: He was no fighter. In fact, combat scared him. I think I scared him. So, he needed to do a lot to earn my respect. Then I heard his ideas and went to smash his concrete. It was then that I knew his ideas would work, however strange they were to me. I will do my best for tactics and intel but I cannot match what came out of his head. I will miss him too.

Tomoe: He was far removed from the aristocratic class. He often put too much in his mouth and spat out the bits that were unchewable. He also used to wipe his nose on his sleeve, then his sleeve on his trousers, then realise he had a hanky in his pocket! He had some unusual mannerisms and he cussed a lot but other than that, he spoke well. He would find it hard to start conversations and often duck out of doing so but intellectual and philosophical conversations with him were very enlightening. He also used to stare a lot, partly because he was summoning up the courage to talk to us and partly because he loved eyeing up us women, but I am certain he had no ill intent. I think the kind of relationship he had with Shanaw is proof of his good nature, always wanting to put others first but often putting his foot in it due to nervousness or a lack of awareness of how we would take his words and behaviour. He really was a person of two halves.

Cissé: He often came to me for advice about people, what went on in their minds and how he best speak with them and act around them. He was desperate to be liked. Sometimes he would deliberately annoy someone for banter's sake and sometimes he wouldn't even realise he was annoying someone. Such childlike innocence at 33 years old is unheard of. All that was compensated by his desire to do right by this camp, facilitated by information he had accumulated over the years about technologies, war and societal structures. He used to joke that such information was only useful in his time in tavern quizzes. It was certainly useful here - our very survival has depended on it.

Kari: He was fair.

Everyone turned around, surprised to see her there. They all noted that Blod was not with her, or Eustache.

Kari: He understood that respect had to be earned and boy, he earned it. With his technologies, staying out of my way and deposing Eustache as leader, he earned my respect. Then he stole my girlfriend. Even then, he told me I deserved to lose her. At the time, I...guess I did. He was opportunistic but he did look after her. He gave her what I couldn't. Now that I've kicked his ass into the afterlife, he has paid for stealing Shanaw from me. I feel respect for him flooding back. He pleaded with me to make his passing quick, which I did. I owed him that much.

Moira: As we finish, I would like to read an extract of a song Tom wanted us to use. Gudrun has visited me and has dictated the words.

She began to read out part of "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis & The News.

Moira: The power of love is a very curious thing

Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream

It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes

They say that all in love is fair

Yeah, but you don't care

But you know what to do

When it gets hold of you

Sometimes when you feel it, it will make you mad

Sometimes when you feel it, it will make you sad

It might even take your life

That's the power of love

Elsewhere...

Blod: So, THIS is where you've been hiding!

Eustache: Yup. It must be Elof's resource stash. There's allsorts in here. Wanna see?

Blod: You bet!


	31. Chapter 31

**Day 166**

Björn: My new wave. Where is it?

Freyja: It's not coming.

Björn: WHAT!?

Freyja: We are no longer resurrecting the dead. Look after the men you have.

Björn: I'll deal with MY men how I like! Why did you stop?

Freyja: We were missing a valkyrie. Now we have one. Now do one.

Björn: WHERE IS THIS VALKYRIE?

Freyja: *laughs condescendingly* You can't see her, child. Only bodiless souls and those in dreamland can see her and interact with her.

Björn: *points* THIS ISN'T OVER! *storms off*

Björn attacked a tree in rage. It fell.

The scene faded to white and Moira woke up.

Knut left at first light.

Cissé: Do you want to be a consul yet?

Moira: I don't know. I wanted the job but now I feel...will I be enough? These people are soon going into battle and there will be heavy casualties, maybe even deaths. How do I handle it? What do I say?

Cissé: That's a few days away yet. It will come to you when the time comes.

Moira: Are you sure? I couldn't come up with a reading for Tom's funeral on my own...

Cissé: You weren't alone then; you aren't alone now and you won't be alone in the immediate aftermath of Björn's tyranny. I'm here. We can work it out together.

Moira embraced Cissé, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Kari: Shanaw, please don't avoid me again.

Shanaw: Leave me alone!

Kari: You understand why I had to kill him, right?

Shanaw: NO! HE NO RAPE ME, HE NO TREAT ME BADLY, I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM! YOU NOT SEE THAT?

Kari: It was killing me last time and it's killing me now. I need you.

Shanaw: THEN SHOW SOME REMORSE FOR WHAT YOU DID!

Kari: My only regret is losing you. Do you know why Knut and Solveig are here?

Shanaw: Why that matter?

Kari: Because Knut caught some bastard gawping at Solveig. He killed him, to protect her. They got banished for it.

Shanaw: No, Knut killed him because he thought Solveig belonged to him, like property! That's partly why Solveig no speak to him when arrive on island! Partners are not property! We have free will!

Kari: You chose him over me!

Shanaw: Because you not trustworthy! He kind and same sadness as me! The Kari I knew was dead to me!

Kari: Is she still dead to you?

Shanaw: She is again, yes. I make my own decisions. I expect you to respect them.

Kari: Fine.

Eirik and Tomoe shook their heads in disbelief.

At bedtime...

Eirik: Where the Hel have you been all evening since dinner?

Blod: Out.

Eirik: Pity. I thought we could have tried to talk some sense into our daughter together.

Blod: I'll spend my evenings how I like! And MY daughter already has sense.

Eirik: She's YOUR daughter now, is she? Kari and Shanaw were arguing this afternoon.

Blod: Well, Tom did mess with Shanaw's head...

Eirik: No, Shanaw wants Kari to show remorse for murdering a fellow camp member and doing yet another thing to hurt her. Kari was being posessive and obnoxious. Those traits seem to run in the family at the moment.

Blod: Are you the proud Norseman who fought for me when I was about to get raped a few weeks ago?

Eirik: That was completely different!

Blod: How?

Eirik: You were about to get raped. You wanted to be saved.

Blod: She doesn't know what she wants. She's too young and vulnerable. He was a manipulative opportunist. He groomed her.

Eirik: Need I remind you she's 19?

Blod: I don't believe that for a moment.

Eirik: Did her account of their relationship sound like one involving a depraved and desperate young man? It didn't from where I was sitting.

Blod: He never once said anything in her defence. He was out to save himself.

Eirik: It was him on trial, not her. He certainly didn't say anything to her detriment.

Blod: You weren't even there during his testimony or cross-examination!

Eirik: His voice carried with the wind. I heard every word.

Blod: There's no point talking to you when you're like this.

Eirik: Likewise.

They turned their backs on each other, unable to reconcile.


	32. Chapter 32

**Day 167**

Eustache and Blod are making love in Elof's cave.

Blod: We should be leading this camp. My sister and the exotic storyteller don't have a clue.

Eustache: I couldn't agree more. Oh, that feels nice! Don't stop...

The scene faded to white and Eustache found Valur licking him.

Eustache: Geroff! Bloody dog...

Embarrassed and feeling mildly violated, Eustache ran off to get washed. Was this how women felt when he went for them and they didn't respond well? Nah.

Before everyone set off for morning jobs, Jannick appeared at the towers.

Jannick: I need to speak to someone in charge! Now!

Yaghoub: Just a moment, sir.

He came back with Cissé, Moira and Knut.

Moira: You must be Jannick. Let's talk over there.

Jannick: Why are my men telling me you're keeping valuable intel and maybe even weapon tech from us and including the other leaders?

Knut: They came to us about their tributes, you didn't. If you'd have been here too, you would have been included.

Jannick: So what, you're going to leave me out now?

Just then, Yaghoub appeared and whispered into Moira's ear. She made her excuses.

Knut: No. Let me explain-

Moira grabbed the pistol from the back of Jannick's belt.

Moira: My, my! This is not what I expect to find in men's pants! How about you tell us how you acquired this and why. If you tell us the truth (all of it) and no bullshit, you have nothing to worry about.

Jannick: In desperation, one of my men on watch got the info (and gun) from Leif's farmers. They had no idea we were being left out.

Moira: That much is obvious. I'm on about how much Björn knows!

Jannick: Why would he know anything? Hey!

Moira: We know he hasn't attacked your camp like our other allies upon joining us. Resource parties have had no trouble while your men have provided an escort. You also came to us, not the other way around. We didn't need to prove our good intentions or solid plans at all. All very suspicious and can only have one explanation - treachery!

Jannick: How dare you! We're just very strong men and are sure of ourselves. Björn knows better than to mess with us and we trusted you to not mess us about. Is that so wrong?

Moira: That would make sense if this gun didn't look as though it has been broken into and welded back together - badly!

Jannick: You... okay, fine! We're working for Björn. He knows about your guns. He knows sulphur goes in and some product of poop. He has entrusted me with finding out the rest. I know you've been teaching the other allies how to make and use these guns. If you'd have taught us, we could have passed the information to Björn and be spared.

Knut: You idiot! Do you think that warlord spares anybody?

Moira: You and your camp are hereby ejected from the Alliance. You will therefore no longer receive your share of resources. If you attack us or any of our allies, threaten them, bribe them, blackmail them or tell Björn anything else about these guns (yes, I mean anything), then we'll be paying your camp a visit. Don't count on your towers stopping us. Go, before I change my mind and shoot!

Once Jannick had left...

Knut: We need to act fast or Solveig and Leif's people are going to get slaughtered on the plateau! No time for armour!

Up on the plateau, Solveig and Leif's men arrive just as Jannick does.

Jannick: It is time.

Seeing how Jannick's men reacted, Solveig jumped to action.

Solveig: Selby, Stenby, Sturby, Sven, Trygve, Embla, run via the trees!

They did as they were bid. Stenby wasn't quick enough. A bolt met the back of his neck and he fell. Thormod started crying.

Then Eirik and Blod came forward, shields first. While the guards were busy firing at them and the farmers, Kari and Eustache picked off the guards one by one. By the time they got to the fifth and sixth towers, the occupants were already surrendering.

Eirik: Run, before we change our minds!

The men needed no second bidding. Jannick headed towards the woods after the farmers. Kari fired a warning shot that narrowly missed his ear and landed low down in a tree trunk. He thought better of it and joined his fleeing men, who were returning to their camp. Eustache went up each tower to loot the bodies and turf them out.

Knut, Cissé and Moira turned up, panting. Blod filled them in.

Knut: We need to visit Jürgen and Johan now for sentry recruitment. We will need to discuss resource allocation while we're at it. Eirik, please ask Olaf, Granni and Leif to join us. We're going to Johan first.

Cissé: Moira, well done with Jannick back at camp.

Moira: Thanks. We would have been struggling for proof if Yaghoub hadn't spotted the gun. I think Jannick might have used it if things didn't go his way.

Knut: The way it was welded back together, it wouldn't have worked. The bullet couldn't go straight and the cumbustibles could have leaked out, so it would have misfired. He'd be lucky to have his hand left if he had tried to fire.

Moira: Can you fix the damage done to it?

Knut: Yes. It won't take long.

At midday changeover, they get an unexpected visitor...

Elof: Hello, my little ponies! Master Björn has requested that his current tribute due also include 40 guns. That shouldn't be too hard eh, my little duckies? Ta-rah!

They waited until he left.

Moira: Do you think he or Björn knows we're attacking first?

Knut: I reckon he has a fair idea. This is our time limit.

Moira: How soon until you and the other camps are ready?

Knut: Two days minimum. I want them all to train here first.

Moira: You have three, four maximum.

That evening, after dinner, Blod and Eustache go to enjoy Elof's stash once again. They get drunk.

Eustache: Who am I? Oh, life is so lame! All men must die! Except my dad, because he's the best!

Blod: Hahah! That's unmishtakably Kari! Okay, my turn... I'm so lonely, please help! Nobody wants to hear my stories or music here. I couldn't say boo to a goose, let alone take a sword in anger. I let the other leader do what the Hel they like.

Eustache: That'sh our Shissay! Who's this... Hello, my loves! Look what I've brought back from my fields! Would you like them as they are or in a delicious cake? How big does my bum look in this? I want to twerk for my beautiful hubby tonight!

Blod: Oh, hahahaha! Hohohoho! That's...that's the best Sholveig anyone can do! Who's this? Do you have any Loki's Delight, Shissay? I want to reflect on life and shirk my responsibilities because I'm finding it tough.

Eustache: That'sh a damn good Eirik! How about this... Fuck the lot of you! Your poor choices for leaders have nothing on me. I deserve better than this!

Blod: Haha, you cheeky fucker! *gives Eustache a playful push* You've asked for this! What am I going to do without any more women to hit on? I hate the foul brown brew Gudrun usht to make and Moira hash managed to make it tashte even worshe! Should I jusht kill myshelf now? Haha!

Eustache: Ohh, that hurts! Sure thing, Effendi! I'll do anything you want, Effendi! Have you tried my magnificent shilk, Effendi? Touch it, that's it. I'll charge you too much now and then take it back later once I've killed you.

Blod: Hahaha! That'sh our Yaghoub! Shanaw no know what Shanaw wants. Pusshy or cock? Eeny, meeny, miney, mo...

Eustache: Haha, that's brilliant! Hello, my little ponies! I'm just going to taunt you until you kill me, okay?

Blod: That fucker! I wonder where he is. He's never here when we are. He must have noticed stuff missing and the empties.

Eustache: That's a good question. Maybe he just drops his suplus here every day and-

Elof appears.

Everyone: YOU!

Elof: You'll pay for this, I swear!

Eustache: You look like you've only tortured and finished off people very handicapped, perhaps captive or near death. You don't stand a chance against us. I'd run, if I were you. Tell the other henchmen you need backup. Problem is, they'll want a piece of this lot too. Björn will probably kill you on the spot if he's feeling lenient.

Elof: SHUT UP!

Blod: Will you be needing this anytime soon? *dangles horn*

Elof: GIVE ME BACK THE KEY TO BJÖRN'S CAMP!

Blod: Thanks. Didn't know that.

Elof: *shaking with rage* GET OUT OF HERE NOW!

Eustache: Says you and what army? We're going nowhere, fuckwit!

Elof's colour went from purple to grey and he keeled over.

Blod: Let's get him out of here, or this cave is going to stink!


	33. Chapter 33

**Day 168**

Blodeuwedd could see a mule charging at her. No sooner had she dodged it; she could see Björn in the distance striding towards her with a look of a sociopath who had just been robbed of his lunch.

The scene faded to white and Blodeuwedd woke up.

Blod: Moira...

Moira: What?

Blod: I...need a word...in private.

Once they were outside, Blod bit the bullet and started talking.

Blod: Eustache found Elof's private stash. Björn has no idea it exists.

Moira: Heehee. Maybe we could reappropriate the contents?

Blod: Eustache and I have been making use of it. Especially the food and booze.

Moira: So...you and him again...*frowns*

Blod: Oh no, nothing like that. If he dares lay a finger on me again, I will cut it off.

Moira: So, what's the problem?

Blod: Elof found us last night.

Moira: Oh?

Blod: I think he had a heart attack or a stroke or something. Being drunk, we wound him up something chronic and then refused to move. He was so pissed off and undoubtedly scared, his face went from purple to grey and he just keeled over.

Moira: I need to see him.

They went up to the cave entrance. In the bushes, Blod retrieved Elof's body. Moira examined it for a while.

Moira: Hmm. I think I could have saved him. Too late now.

Blod: Have we really messed up?

Moira: That depends whether anyone was due to see him between now and when we attack. Only time will tell.

At changeover...

Eirik: Knut, would you like me to carve you a leg out of that stump of yours?

Knut: I've not thought about it. Erm... it might take some getting used to but it would help balance. It would reduce my standing disadvantage in battle and maybe improve my stealth.

Eirik: Great! Shall we get started this evening after training?

Knut: Yes. Thank you, Eirik.

At dinner, Knut thumped his tankard in a fashion akin to Brian Blessed and bellowed in the same vain.

Knut: Everyone, quiet! This morning, we were visited by Jannick. Was he friend or foe? Our comrade Yaghoub determined that when he found a gun sticking out of the back of his belt. Without Yaghoub, we would not have had any proof of his treachery. Three cheers for Yaghoub!

Knut: Our new consul Moira then interrogated him and got him to confess! Now we know how deep in it he and his men were and how much Björn knew. Three cheers for Moira!

After dinner...

Kari: Yaghoub, can't you ask Solveig and the mighty hero over there out for a walk? Then Shanaw and I can have the place to ourselves.

Yaghoub: I thought you two had fallen out.

Kari: This might be our last chance ever. Anyone could die in this battle. C'mon, pleeeeease...

Yaghoub: What's in it for me?

Kari: It would be a good chance for you to chat up Aunt Moira... I can put in a good word for you...

Yaghoub: Hmm. *strokes beard in thought* You'd better, or else!

Kari: Consider it done!

Once the shelter had been cleared...

Shanaw: You joking!

Kari: One of us might die in that battle. Please. I miss you so much. Don't you miss me?

Shanaw: Yes...a lot...

Kari: I would never forgive myself if you died and we hadn't at least tried to enjoy each other's company.

Shanaw: I still annoyed with you but... I feel same. Come here.

On the walk...

Moira: Yaghoub, I know what you're trying to do and it's a lovely thought but I'm not happy about getting closer to someone a couple of days before I might lose them.

Yaghoub: You make a good point. I have incentive to stay alive, then! *grins*

Moira couldn't resist a smile at that sentiment.

Solveig started thinking about Knut's mortality and their relationship.

Towards the end of training...

Knut: Borghild & Brant, Brynjar & Halmar, Destin & Dusty, Gosta & Gudbrand, Gunilla & Halvar and Kettil & Kjeld. Magnhild & Nanna, try not to smash each other to pieces. Our enemy is out there, not here. The rest of you practise shooting. Iver will guide you.

Solveig appeared.

Solveig: When are you going to finish? I was hoping we could have an early night! Heehee!

Knut: NOW you're talking! Eirik, Tomoe, could you cover for me here?

Tomoe: We wouldn't want to get in the way of a new child coming into the world...*smirks*

Eirik sighed. Such a thing wasn't going to happen between him and Blod anytime soon. Why did she have to be such a bitch nowadays? He shrugged.

When Blod and Eustache returned from their night's drinking...

Eirik: Hey, beautiful! Any chance... I guess not. *sighs*

No sooner had Blod hit the pillow, she was out cold and snoring very loudly in the way drunk people do.

Then he noticed Eustache getting into bed. No, surely not.


	34. Chapter 34

**Day 169**

Hooded figure: You are no better than Björn. If it all means nothing, then anything is permitted.

The hooded figure raised a dagger and began to strike, in slow motion. Eirik found he couldn't move and braced himself for the fatal blow.

The scene faded to white and Eirik woke up.

The raiding party got as far as the plateau and...

Eirik: Do you hear that?

Knut: They decided they would pound us before we pounded them. Everyone! Protect the towers!

Later...

Knut: What have we here? A cowardly traitor! *spits*

Jannick was pinned up against his own shelter by Knut's hammer, his feet unable to touch the ground. He spluttered in mortal fear.

Jannick: Please! We thought by appeasing Björn, we would be spared.

Knut: Fool! Do you think that Norseman spares anyone? *spits*

Jannick gulped.

Knut: We in this alliance are made up of comrades, friends. We fight alongside one another. We live and we die together. To betray us through treachery is intolerable. You shall never eat in Odin's great hall now. I don't think even Hel would take you. *spits*

Jannick gulped again, cold sweat dripping from his brow in a continuous torrent.

Knut: PREPARE TO MEET THE FROST GIANTS!

Knut swung his hammer back for the killer blow. Jannick tried to run but his legs had turned to jelly. In any case, Kari fired a warning shot that landed right where he would have trod, had he managed to move.

Eirik: Knut, no!

Knut paused and turned.

Knut: Whyever not?

Eirik: We would be no better than Björn!

Knut: Then let's plunder his camp. Take everything worth looting and burn the rest. Leave him with enough to last the night but nothing else.

Eirik: That's not much better than Björn either.

Knut: Then what do you propose we do with the snivelling wretch? Imprisonment? Confiscation of weapons? Cut off his fingers and tongue? Poison his water supply? Hostage? Petty beating? *spits*

Eirik: We've defeated his men. You've reduced him to a quivering wreck in front of his people. That should be enough. He's no threat to us now.

Knut: I hope you're right. IF YOU EVER, EVER CROSS US AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU AND IT WILL BE PAINFUL!

With that, they left the camp.

On the walk back...

Yaghoub: Eirik, you are a good man...erm...I don't know how to say this...

Eirik: Say what?

Yaghoub: I...was hired to kill you. That's why we shipwrecked on the same island.

Eirik: Who?

Yaghoub: Hagbard Haraldsen killed his own brother the day you left and discovered you were Magnus' illegitimate son.

Eirik: *to self* So that's why that man screamed "Kill the bastard!" It all makes sense now...

Yaghoub: Please forgive me...

Eirik: Unless you still plan on killing me, it's all good.

Yaghoub: Aha...I am a bad assassin too, on top of being a bad merchant! I have morals. I actually care if my target is being targetted fairly. You, effendi, are the least deserving of such a punishment.

Eirik: Glad to hear it. I think I need a stiff drink after those revelations...

Moira: You still haven't told me what happened. I need details.

Knut: Fine. You're the leader now. You should know. After we defeated Jannick's men, I was all for sending Jannick into the next life and/or confiscating all but the most essential resources from his camp, but Eirik stopped me. I let him live, despite my blood-lust.

Moira: Jannick or Eirik?

Knut: Ahah... both.

Moira: Thank you for listening. You may have saved this camp from remorse that could have been our ultimate downfall.

Knut: I haven't been able to smash someone's brains out for a long time. It would have felt good.

Moira: You'll get your opportunity when we fight Björn. So, do you think Jannick has learned his lesson?

Knut: Eirik thinks he has. I hope he's right. Moira... can I tell you something?

Moira: You want to confess your undying love for me! Oh, that's so sweet! *smirks*

Knut: No, I...

Moira: Calm down! I'm pulling your leg!

Knut: Which one? *grins*

Moira: So, you DO have a sense of humour! What is it, then?

Knut: Before I came to this island, I loathed healers. I considered my life after I lost my leg a humiliation and I blamed my healer. I didn't think I had anything to live for. Eustache and Solveig gave me a new sense of purpose and I began to enjoy life again. Gudrun proved to me that healers, while eccentric, do want what is best for me. She restored my faith in healers. I'm happy to admit I was wrong. I fear that, if we had met before my redemption, I would have despised you and you me. That makes me feel guilty.

Moira: Don't. I can't imagine losing a limb and I don't want to think about how our relationship could have been. But thank you for telling me. It means a lot.


	35. Chapter 35

**Day 170**

Gwen: You can count on us...

Njáll: But we need something from you...

Gwen: Bring me a female warrior who thrives on conflict but is tempered by her strong values.

Njáll: You can convince me your cause is not hopeless in person.

Gwen: Come alone initially.

Njáll: Bring something we can smoke.

The already hazy white scene faded further and Eirik woke up.

Eirik: Freckles, we need to talk.

No response.

Eirik: Freckles... *gently shakes her*

Blod: Nnngh...oww...what?

Eirik: We need to talk.

Blod: Can't it wait? Loki's given me the worst headache...

Eirik: It can't. I need to set out before the morning tasks.

Blod groaned.

Eirik: We need Gwen's and Njáll's help.

Blod: What? You've got to be joking.

Eirik: I'm afraid not. I won't be long.

Blod: If you are, I'll know why.

Eirik: Please have a little faith in your husband.

Blod: We'll see, won't we?

Eirik: *under his breath* At least I'm being open and honest about it.

Blod: What was that?

Eirik: At least I'm being open and honest about it.

Blod: What's that supposed to mean?

Eirik: We all know you've been drinking with Eustache the past few nights.

Blod: I hope you are not insinuating...

Eirik: Whether or not there's something going on between you, you should be spending time with us, your FAMILY.

Blod: YOU are NOBODY to lecture me on that! Owww...

Eirik: I'm going!

Gwen: Where have you been, stranger?

Eirik: Getting my family life back on track.

Gwen: Then why are you here? Your wife must be suspicious.

Eirik: She is but I'm being open and honest about this.

Gwen: So why ARE you here?

Eirik: We need your help.

Gwen: YOU need MY help? *crosses arms*

Eirik: We're preparing our final assault on Björn. We would find the task much easier with your support.

Gwen: And if you fail? If I support you, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR CAMP, TO OTHERS WHO STOOD AGAINST HIM? Honestly, you don't want to know.

Eirik: He'll kill you?

Gwen: If only. He will drag it out as long and painfully as possible. You have no idea.

Eirik: So, what can I do to convince you?

Gwen: Come back to me.

Eirik: I can't do that but I have a better idea.

Gwen: Oh? This had better be good...

Eirik: I would like you to meet-

Gwen: You didn't bring them, did you? I don't want to become a tourist attraction...

Eirik: No. I know how you are with your own space and people knowing where you live.

Gwen: Good. So, tell me about this person you think is able to keep up with me. I hope you're not going to tell me it's that conceited Frenchman or your impulsive daughter.

Eirik: Neither. I'd like you to meet Lady Tomoe, widow and former Onna-Bugeisha warrior.

Gwen: Hmm. Tell me more.

Eirik: She is an extremely disciplined and dedicated warrior. She places honour above all else. What she can do with a sword might surprise even you.

Gwen: Does she fight for fun? Does she like women?

Eirik: Yes and yes.

Gwen: You've intrigued me. Bring me this woman and I will consider helping you.

Blod: Back already?

Eirik: Of course.

Blod: You can't blame me for doubting you.

Eirik: I could say likewise!

Blod: He tried to RAPE me.

Eirik: So, what's changed? Thought you wouldn't feel comfortable around him!

Blod: I can handle myself!

Eirik: At least get chaperoned! Look what happened last time!

Blod: He's learned his lesson. He wouldn't dare.

Eirik: Do you have any feelings for him at all? If so, I need to know.

Blod: I did but he blew it. I can't trust him now.

Eirik: Then why hang out with him every evening?

Blod: To escape! From...this...

Eirik: Now you know how I felt when I went to see Njáll and Gwen!

Blod: I guess I am just as vulnerable as you are, after all.

Eirik: Hug?

They embraced. After what felt like so long, they were back on the same page.

Eirik: Moira, do you have time to whip up some Loki's Delight today?

Moira: I do but...why?

Eirik: Njáll.

Moira: I see. Yes, I'll make some while making black powder. Does Blod know?

Eirik: She knows I went to see Gwen this morning and that I'm seeing Njáll this evening. I didn't mention the Loki's Delight.

Moira: Your secret is safe with me. You two need to patch things up.

Eirik: *sighs* I know. We've already started.

Moira: Good. So... how long until we see some more little Karis?

Eirik: Moira!

Moira: You're right. Bad idea. *smirks*

Gwen: So, this is the remarkable woman you hold to be my equal in so many ways! Let's see how you wave that feather duster of yours.

Tomoe smirked briefly and turned to Eirik; her usual stern half-scowl restored.

Tomoe: You can leave us now, Eirik.

Eirik: Are you sure? Gwen?

Gwen: You heard her. Go.

Nobody saw Tomoe until the morning. She looked well-rested and content, with a far-off look in her eyes and an almost permanent smile.

Njáll: Whoever you are, it really isn't worth your while to sneak around! Either I will kill you or Björn will. Your choice. I don't really care either way. We'll all be dead soon, in any case.

Eirik: It's only me, my friend. I thought you'd enjoy a catch-up for old times' sake. My treat this time. *waves bag of pot at Njáll, wiggles eyebrows and smirks*

Njáll: It's about time you contributed! Wait...have they kicked you out? We really are all truly doomed.

Eirik: No but Blod took a lot of persuading.

Njáll: What did you tell her?

Eirik: That we need you to help us defeat Björn.

Njáll: You know it's a futile exercise trying to convince me, right?

Eirik: I'm not so sure it is.

Njáll: What? No, no, no, no, no... It's suicide. You know that.

Eirik: But we have the advantage now! Björn can no longer recruit zombies, we have a twoscore fighting force, combat-trained, united and with armour to boot. Plus, we have our guns and Gwen will probably agree to join us.

Njáll: I still think you're playing with fire. Björn still has twoscore and ten at his command, not to mention Egill and Grim. Then there's Björn himself. He has never lost a battle, even with fifteen men against him. I've seen him, man. He fights like a demon.

Eirik: We still have the guns he can't make himself and he doesn't know two of his most trusted lieutenants are about to switch sides.

Njáll: These guns... can they shoot continuously or do they have to be reloaded like bows?

Eirik: The latter. Tom didn't know how the barrel could rotate by itself with precision or how to discard the waste material.

Njáll: So, they're no better than single shot poison arrows. I can tell you that he has stolen your ballistatower idea. Both the front and back gates are heavily guarded.

Eirik: What makes you think we'll be using the gates?

Njáll: Climbing over the walls or throwing yourselves over them is also suicide.

Eirik: We'll destroy the wall at point of entry.

Njáll: Again, suicide. It will take you ages. You'll be surrounded before you can finish the job.

Eirik: We won't. The same stuff that makes our guns go bang can destroy wall in a flash.

Njáll: Very well. I will consider it. You're rolling, by the way.

Eustache: Coming?

Blod: No. I need to spend time with my husband, when he comes back.

Eustache: How do you know he is coming back tonight?

Blod: I trust him.

Eustache: Is it wise to trust a man visiting a recent old flame and a pot buddy?

Blod: In this case, yes. We need them on-side in a couple of days.

Eustache: Come, my lady. We have time.

Blod: I don't want to.

Having learned his lesson last time, Eustache did not pursue the matter any further.

Eustache: Suit yourself. See you tomorrow.


	36. Chapter 36

**Day 171**

Knut: I think we're about ready. We can't really plan any more without having a scout first. Are you happy with it?

Kari: As happy as I can be.

Knut: Good. Let's eat.

Kari: Knut...can I ask you something?

Knut paused.

Kari: When we've killed Björn, do you think there will be peace?

Knut: Not completely. Harald, Ingrid, Rangvar and a few other Jarls will still cause some trouble, but nothing we can't handle.

Kari: Good. Life would be so boring without fighting.

Knut: I'm glad we agree.

Kari: What do you see yourself doing?

Knut: I haven't really thought about it. I think everyone wants me to continue as Blacksmith. Solveig wants more children.

Kari: Is that what you want?

Knut: I...don't mind. Family is important to me. It might be to you one day.

Kari: Would that involve sleeping with a man?

Knut: That is the most natural method but there are other ways. A child's parents could die and you look after the child, for example. There could be an abandoned child. A child's parents could be lost or incapable of looking after their child or children. Shanaw could conceive a child with a man and you could bring it up together. Like I say, there are ways.

Kari: I don't want to sleep with a man. The other ways sound complicated.

Knut: If you live the life of a hunter and sheriff, then maybe you shouldn't have children, in case you die.

Kari: Hmm. Maybe. I don't want children right now anyway. Perhaps my needs will change later in life.

Shanaw: Wise Old Man.

Cissé: Cissé.

Shanaw: Cissé. What were you like when you were my age?

Cissé: I was...foolish. Ignorant. I did not listen to my elders. I thought life was about material wealth and prestige. It is anything but. I then met my mentor, an older griot. Finally, I met my then future now late wife, also a griot as per our tradition. By then, my perspective and priorities had changed completely.

Shanaw: You have children?

Cissé: Sadly, no. We found out all too late that she could not bear children, so I have never been a father.

Shanaw: That's so sad. Maybe you can start a family here instead.

Cissé: I hope so. Do you want a family?

Shanaw: I not know. Not now. Later...maybe.

Cissé: What do you want to do when Björn is gone?

Shanaw: I want to train hunters and maybe look after animals. They can be scary but they no hurt people the same.

Cissé: I think you would be good at that. You know how an animal thinks, the way it smells, what it wants, what it needs. That is half the battle. The other half is confidence and stamina.

Yaghoub: In a land close to mine, there is a tale of a genie who lives in a magic lamp. One rubs the lamp, the genie pops out and promises to grant the rubber three wishes. If you were to rub my lamp-

Tomoe: Do you know how crude that sounds?

Yaghoub: Please bear with me. I'm not an accomplished storyteller like Cissé. If you were to ask me to grant you three wishes, what would they be?

Tomoe: To stop bothering me?

Yaghoub: Invalid! Hehe.

Tomoe: This tiresome exercise has turned into sexual harrassment now. Kindly stop being so entitled and go away.

Yaghoub: What about a swordfight? You're always up for one of those.

Tomoe: I'm rather sore after yesterday's battle with Gwen and I need to rest for tomorrow's attack on Björn.

Yaghoub: I could give you a massage if you wanted.

Tomoe paused and thought about it. She could really use one. Yaghoub might be lustful and entitled but he is willing and good-looking.

Tomoe: It's your lucky day, mister. Start with the neck and shoulders and work your way down.

Yaghoub grinned like a Cheshire cat, a cat who had got his cream _and_ his queen.

Yaghoub: I'll get my oils.

Tomoe: When you're done, my sword needs sharpening. We'll discuss the third wish later.


	37. Final Battle

**Day 172**

Solveig and Cissé waited on bated breath to see who would come back to camp - friend, foe or friend pursued by foe?

_Into the vicinity of Björn's camp, marched the twoscore. Their vulnerable homes behind them, foreboding walls and watchtowers in front of them, treacherous-looking foliage flanking them, they pressed on, hindered only by their apprehension._

Shanaw sneaks up to the wall, almost indistinguishable from the scenery and as quietly as an ant. She carefully places the small loaded explosive kegs at the base and spreads them from about a third from one corner to a third before the next, turns around and heads back to the group. So far so good.

Moira slights the end of the beer-soaked rope with her torch. The shrinking end crackles and snakes its way to its target.

Guard 1: Do you hear that?

Guard 2: It sounds like a rope on fire.

Guard 1: It's getting louder, I'm sure of it.

Guard 2: That means it's heading this way. Do you see any moving spark in camp?

Guard 1 scanned the camp and replied.

Guard 1: Nope.

Guard 2: Then it must be coming from the other side of the wall. The rebels could be trying to blow the wall to Kingdome Come! We'd better evacuate and raise the alarm.

The group heard the guards bang gongs and descend from their towers. The fuse got to the barrels and...

...there can't have been enough combustibles, the mixture was wrong or it was damp. The result was underwhelming. Instead of a massive boom and most of the wall being blown to pieces, there was a rumble and the wall remained intact, save for a hole in the centre at the bottom - large enough for two men, maybe three.

Moira: Oh, fuck...what was your Plan B, Knut?

Kari: No time. They're coming!

She stepped forward with the other archers and picked off the first few who came out. When the sentries returned to their towers, they picked them off too.

Then there was (relative) silence. Then Björn's voice rang out over the scene.

Björn: Are you vandals going to attack or what?

Shanaw threw a pebble through the hole, which was met by arrows.

Knut: WHY DON'T YOU OPEN THE FRONT GATES, YOU COWARD?

There was a pause.

Björn: CAREFUL WHAT YER WISH FOR, ARSEWIPES! HAHAHAHAHA!

The group could hear the deep, groaning creak of the front gates being opened. Moira giggled because to her, it sounded like a whale breaking wind. Blod nudged her silent. Kari and the archers picked off the next sentries who appeared in the nearby towers.

And so, the great battle of the age had begun, albeit like a game of chess or a tactical RPG, where no side wanted to give the other the advantage. Using long-range weapons, the attackers managed to whittle down the enemy number until they had roughly the same amount of fighters each. At this point, Björn lost patience and told his lieutenants to lead charges.

Njáll: Grim, there's something you should know. Björn killed your daughter, man.

Grim's eyes lit up in rage. Unable to control his anger, he spun round and pelted arrow after arrow like darts at Björn. Björn caught them all with his shield. He was about to retaliate when Gwen blocked his path.

Njáll kept Egill busy. Grim turned his attention onto the defenders he was meant to be leading and began picking some of them off. After a while, the bloodlust faded and he went off to grieve in peace.

The battlefield was in full swing. Nearly everyone was involved in a mêlée. Those who were strongest at long-range stayed back. These comprised ballista sentries, archers, marksmen and one pebbleslinger.

That one pebbleslinger could hear all the mêlée weapons colliding with each other, all the whoops of arrows whistling through the air, all the bowstrings, all the battlecries, all the yelps and grunts from wounds, all the taunts and insults, all the crossbow bolts getting released and meeting their targets, all the commanders' commands, all the footsteps, all the gunshots, all the reloads...

It all came together in an overwhelming cacophonic blur. She couldn't focus on the matter at hand. With that realisation and the pain inside her head that the battlefield cacophany was causing her, Shanaw ran. She took shelter in the forest nearby, sank to the ground, put her hands over her ears and rocked. She would not be able to resurface until later in the battle.

Knut and Moira, who were fighting close to one another, had noticed Shanaw's departure. Thankfully, none of the enemy had.

Knut: WHY IS THE BUSH CHILD FLEEING!? GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!

Moira: Knut, she can't. She has sensory overload. It comes with being autistic. She can't cope with loud noises or lots of noise. She can't function.

Knut: Can't she just turn that thing off? We need her.

Moira: She isn't able to. If she stayed, she'd be dead in seconds because she wouldn't be able to attack or dodge.

Knut: Grrr. Why do these freaks still exist? Nobody would want to mix their genepool with them.

Moira: That's not completely true. We'll talk about this later.

Kari had also noticed. She was concerned but couldn't get away.

Meanwhile, Gwen's duel with Björn was reaching its climax. Both were mildly wounded in roughly equal measure but Gwen was the more tired of the two.

Björn: Do yer wanna give up now ter be me sex slave?

Gwen: You've had that satisfaction for far too long. You disgust me.

She spits in Björn's eye. Björn howled with rage and indignation.

Björn: Ye'll learn yer place, lieutenant, even if I have ter beat it inter yer!

Gwen: Over my dead body.

She spits again, this time aiming lower. Björn ducks and catches it in his other eye.

Björn: If that's the way it has ter be, then so be it!

Björn swipes his deadly double-headed axe viciously and fatally in Gwen's direction. She ducks, but her level of exhaustion meant she could not duck low enough in time to miss the blade entirely. It smashed into her temple, causing her skull to split from temple to opposing ear. Her corpse collapsed, spewing gallons of blood and twitching.

Björn: DO ANY OF THE REST O' YER FANCY THE TASTE O' ME BLADE? COME ON! I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!

Gwen's spirit rose from her body and hovered next to it.

Gwen: At least he's leaving my corpse in peace...for now.

Sigrún appeared.

Gwen: Are you to take me to the next world?

Sigrún: Yes, but I won't take all of you individually. There's too many of you falling in too short a time. Go and wait over there with the others.

Gwen's soul did as it was bidden, looking behind in time to see Tomoe step forward to challenge Björn. Her thought was one of trepidation.

Double-edged sword met double-headed axe. They circled, sizing each other up. They both had a fierce, steely, yet calculating glare. Björn wasn't going to show it, but this female warrior scared him. At least he knew Gwen's weaknesses. This one was a closed book.

Björn: Good fighting spirit! I like it! It's not too late ter change sides!

Tomoe: That will never happen and you know it.

Björn took an experimental swipe. Tomoe dodged and they continued circling.

Björn: Then would yer like ter foller Gwen inter the afterlife?

Björn then noticed Tomoe pondering that point. She had been caught offguard and was unable to hide a little smile at the thought.

Björn: Do I detect some affection for Gwen?

Tomoe: I don't know what you're talking about.

Björn: It would be easy, yer know. All yer do is stand still while I swing me axe inter yer neck. Job done.

Tomoe: If I die at your hand, you're coming with me. I will not let these people suffer your tyranny and brutishness any longer.

Björn: Come on, then! Gimme yer best shot!

Tomoe went for the juggular but was disarmed in doing so. As the sword tip quivered in the ground, she knew what was coming next. She ducked, went into a forward roll and kicked upwards. Björn yelped in pain.

Björn: The only women ter get that close had already sucked me off. Yer really not me type.

Tomoe: Then the feeling is mutual.

Björn stamped on Tomoe's left leg as she tried to get up. There was a bone-splitting crack as her tibia broke, followed by a shriek of agony.

Björn lifted the axe and came down on her chest.

Björn: Say hi to Gwen for me!

As Tomoe's spirit left her body, she was pleased to see a volley of arrows make contact with her killer.

Lady Tomoe died on the battlefield, fighting the group's nemesis single-handedly. May Sigrún deliver her to Valhalla, where she will fight for eternity alongside her soulmate, Gwendolen of Cornwall.

During her time with the group, she:

fought in 30 battles

\- the last of which killed her

assisted in the birth of 8 lambs

nurtured 4 old ewes in their last days

manned the pens 60 times

logged 12 times

mined 8 times

mentored 2 camp members

healed others 5 times

healed herself 10 times

manned the forge 8 times

manned the workshop 6 times

scowled 200 times

smiled 20 times

\- the longest being when Yaghoub gave her a massage with a happy ending

Björn pulled the arrows out of his shield contemptuously and stormed his way towards Kari. Knut's warhammer blocked his path.

Knut: My turn!

He grinned sociopathically but was outdone by Björn's scarier one.

Another volley of arrows came from Kari's bow. This time, some made contact with Björn rather than his shield. He winced and turned tound.

Björn: I'LL DEAL WITH YOU IN A MINUTE, BITCH! WAIT YOUR TURN!

Knut swung his hammer. It met Björn's torso and cracked a few ribs.

Björn: Hahahaha. Do yer really think yer can beat me?

Björn swiped low. Knut, armed with his reformed false leg, was nimble enough to jump and land again without losing his balance. Just about.

Knut: I have the strength and stamina to beat you.

Björn: Do yer WANT to beat me, though?

Knut: YES!

Knut swung his warhammer again, this time ending on a vertical stroke. Björn had reckoned on a sideswipe at head height, so ducked. He received a bone-cracking headache. Cue another volley from Kari. Unprepared, Björn took one to the calf and one to the bicep. Obviously this would all take its toll soon but at the moment, Björn was running on adrenaline alone. He barely felt it and had the energy to retaliate.

Björn thrust his axe, tip first, straight into Knut's real leg. Knut screamed and bent over in agony.

Knut: Kill me now.

Björn cleaved Knut's head clean off. It and Knut's body fell to the ground, with a huge fountain of blood, some of which began to sink into the wood of his false leg. His soul stepped out like someone steps out of a pair of trousers. He looked down. His spirit form had both real legs.

Sigrún: Knut, my love. Please wait with the others until we depart for Valhalla.

Knut: Gudrun? Have I earned my place in Valhalla?

Sigrún: I was Gudrun, yes. Nice footwork, by the way. Yes, you have earned your place in Valhalla. The others are waiting by the front gates.

Björn yelled in triumph and moved his shield to accept another volley of arrows from Kari.

Knut fell in battle to none other than Björn himself. He had earned his place in Valhalla.

During his time in camp, he:

Held 6 unique positions

Enjoyed 5 leaders

Taken on 1 apprentice

Built 10 camp stations and 30 upgrades

Crafted 100 weapons

Won the respect of everyone in camp (yes, everyone)

Logged 60 times

Mined 80 times

Spent 20 half days in the tavern

\- 15 sober

\- 3 drunk

\- 2 paraletic

Björn: COME 'ERE, YER BRAT!

Kari: Uh-oh.

Björn advanced on her with his shield in front. She fired a single arrow with the hope of splitting the shield. It didn't work.

Blod: LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE, YOU TYRANNICAL BASTARD!

Sadly, Blod was at the other end of Björn's camp.

Blod: EUSTACHE, YOU MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN!

Eustache was currently helping Njáll hack off Egill's various appendages but had heard Blod's first shout. He turned briefly in her direction.

Blod: IF YOU WANT TO HAVE ANY CHANCE OF HAPPINESS WITH ME AT ALL, YOU WILL GO OVER THERE AND HELP MY DAUGHTER!

Eustache, with resentment he didn't quite conceal, did as he was bidden. He was already near Björn as it was.

Eustache: Yes, sweetness.

But Kari was already needing to get her sword out. She wished she'd had more training with it.

Kari: DAD!

Eirik heard, looked over and pressed harder with his current opponent, looking for any opportunity to finish it and get to his daughter in time.

Meanwhile, Kari had Björn charging at her like a bull who has cows in the same field and has just caught you approaching them.

Kari deflected a few blows but knew she couldn't keep it up. She managed to get Björn to drop the shield. Now she was aiming to slice the axe-head off its handle. She succeeded.

However, Shanaw had just appeared at the front gate. She sprinted over to help Kari.

Kari: No! Stay back!

This was long enough for Björn to regain the initiative. He jumped on top of Kari, who fought very hard to get him off. Shaking like mad, sword and shaft had met, getting closer and closer to Kari's throat, until...

...Kari couldn't push anymore because she had run out of leverage. Rather than have a slow end, she released. Snap went her neck and she was no more. Björn laughed and switched his axehandle for Kari's sword.

Kari died at the brutish hands of Björn. May she have safe passage to Valhalla.

During Kari's time in camp, she:

reunited with all her family

explored the whole island three times over, leaving 20 areas undiscovered

fished twice

hunted 53 times

logged 41 times

mined 18 times

made rope twice

drank in the tavern 16 times

napped 4 times when Eustache, Yaghoub and Blod were out of camp

misunderstood Aunt Moira's dirty jokes 78 times

Upon seeing Björn get up and Kari not, Eustache stopped. Then he saw Björn holding Kari's blade. Fuck this. It's not worth it. He turned and ran.

Björn picked up the double-axehead and threw it at Eustache's back. It met its mark, burying itself very deep, cracking ribs and piercing his heart. He fell with a sickening crunch, blood pouring forth from his back.

Eustache died while fleeing trouble...only to find it was following him!

During his time at camp, he...

led for 150 days

had his wicked way with 2 camp women

\- rebuffed another

\- was unsuccessful with a fourth

took Bromide 20 times

took part in 60 fights

gathered water twice

fished 72 times

hunted 9 times

logged 35 times

mined 17 times

worked on 15 camp upgrades

questioned his own morals 3 times

Eustache's soul floated next to Kari's.

Kari: Nice look, old bag!

Eustache: Actually, seeing you hot creeps me out. If you can, please look how you did when I knew you.

Sigrún: *sighs* As you wish.

Eustache: So, are you going to take me to Heaven?

Sigrún: Why would you want to go there?

Eustache: Hell, then...

Sigrún: Wouldn't you rather go to Valhalla?

Eustache: Wait, is that an option?

Sigrún nodded.

Kari: No. Fucking. Way. This selfish fucker who forced himself on my mum AND my girlfriend is NOT going to the same afterlife as me!

Eustache: Hush, brat. You might enjoy it.

Kari: Fuck. You.

Sigrún: I'll take you all when this handsome devil has had enough.

Kari: Who?

Eustache pointed grimly.

Kari: Gross.

Eirik was on Björn like a rash. Björn was finally tiring. His injuries were catching up with him and he hadn't used a sword in a long time. Eirik pressed on his advantage and was emboldened with every successful hit. Eventually, Björn was disarmed, gasping for breath.

Blod flew in. Her eyes shone vengeance as she swung the axe into Björn's neck, thus ending his reign of tyranny.

With her only lovers gone and feeling overwhelmingly responsible for Kari's death, Shanaw couldn't take it anymore. She found the nearest cliff and jumped off.

Shanaw, racked with sorrow and guilt, brought her own life to an end. May she go safely to... wherever she wants to go.

While in camp, she:

spent 138 days in love

learned 8 new skills

had 5 speech lessons

gathered water 3 times

fished 40 times

hunted 60 times

logged 42 times

explored 60 times

napped 30 times

\- 21 times with a lover

\- 9 times alone


	38. Epilogue

**Eirik & Blod**

United in grief at losing their daughter, Eirik and Blodeuwedd converged. They eventually had more children - redhead Tue (a quiet, peaceful and sociable boy), dark-haired Stian (a loner who preferred to walk the forest with only birdsong for company) and redhead Alva (who took life with the grace and elegance of an elf). Eirik took on an apprenticeship in the fields under the mentorship of Solveig but still had to man the forge and workshop occasionally. Blodeuwedd, having had the taste for outdoor pursuits and relished them, decided to follow in Kari's footsteps in providing for the clan.

**Solveig & Cissé**

Cissé helped Solveig come to terms with Knut's death and cared for Thormod like he was his own. Together, they conceived Abigail, who truly was her father's delight, and Vali (who grew to become a strong, courageous lad always ready to protect others), both of whom had dark hair. Solveig retained her roles as mother of the fields, chief harvester and head cook but also took charge of the village's nursery, such was her love of being surrounded by children. Cissé became the village's schoolteacher in addition to his co-leadership duties.

**Yaghoub & Moira**

Yaghoub and Moira were drawn together after Lady Tomoe died on the battlefield. It amazed them how much humour greased the wheels of acceptance. In that vein, they named their daughter Iona, she having been born on an island. Yaghoub became the island's trader and negotiator that Tom had encouraged him to be and he loved it. Moira continued to be co-leader, head healer, alchemist, dark wizard etc. and was rarely home either. Having largely absent parents, Iona would have followed in Kari's footsteps had she not been unofficially adopted by Cissé and Solveig. She grew up with patience and a mind for scheming (which can be creditted to her natural mother).


End file.
